Bermuda Triangle Onions Attack!
by Christine Leigh

Summary: Written for The Haven's Talk To Me in 500
words or less challenge.  A conversation in a car.  All dialogue.
Rating: G
Category: Vignette
Spoilers: None.
Disclaimer: All characters are the products of Chris Carter.
They also belong to Ten-Thirteen Productions and the Fox
Network. No copyright infringement intended.
Archiving: If you would like to archive anywhere, I'd  appreciate a
quick note first. 
Email: Feedback is always welcome, leighchristine@hotmail.com


"Mulder, are you hungry?"

"No, not really.  But we can stop soon, if you are.  It'll probably
be one, at least, by the time we get back."

"I think I could go for a quick sandwich or salad."

"Okay.  I saw a sign for The Attic a mile or so back."

"Sounds like a second-hand clothing store."

"Well, there was a tomato, and I think an onion on the sign,
among the other items.  The new fall line, perhaps?  Wear your
vegetables?"

"That depends, Mulder.  What color was the onion?  White,
yellow, brown?"

"Purple.  It was purple.  Maybe it was an eggplant."

"Oh, Bermuda."

"Beg your pardon?"

"It must have been a Bermuda onion.  They're purple.  No,
given the choice, I'd rather eat one than wear one - Thanks."

"Scully, have you ever seen 'Attack of the Killer Tomatoes?'"

"No, Mulder, I haven't."

"Great flick."

"I have, however, seen its sequel, 'Return of the Killer
Tomatoes.'"

"Why?  It wasn't nearly as good.  And why?  That is, if you
didn't see the first one?"

"George Clooney.  It was on - it was late - he was there, so I
kept watching.  He was so young, but still awfully cute.  Why
do you ask, Mulder?"

"No reason in particular.  We're driving down this road with
nothing much around, and then there was the sign with the
vegetables on it.  It just came into my mind.  They should make
one about onions.  Not Bermuda, though."

"Okay, I'll bite. Why - "

"Scully, you're a regular Carol Burnett."

"Why not Bermuda, Mulder?"

"People would see the word in the title and confuse it with the
Bermuda Triangle and all the cheesy movies made about that.
Unless, of course, they decided to make it about both."

"Bermuda onions attacking people in the Bermuda Triangle.
Before or after they disappear?"

"The people or the onions?"

"The people."

"The reverse could work, I suppose, if the onions were imbued
with personality.  That might be getting a little esoteric,
though."

"Yeah, that could be a problem."

"And definitely before.  Leaves room for a sequel."

"Mulder, congratulations."

"For?"

"Topping yourself."

"Excuse me?"

"For sharing with me your aspirations to produce an Oscar
winner."

"Be nice, Scully.  Maybe I'll toss George a bone.  He could do
worse."

"Mulder, don't take this the wrong way, but I think he'd rather
do 'The Sunshine Boys' in drag."

"Would that involve leather?  Could work."

"Mulder, if a McDonald's turns up first, I'm willing to forgo
The Attic."

"Sorry Scully, did I sap your sense of adventure?"

"No, I'm just getting really hungry.  And starting to envision
vegetables attacking us out here in the middle of nowhere.
Mulder, that's it!"

"What's it?"

"'Bermuda Triangle Onions Attack!'"

"Very good, Scully,  I like it."

"Mulder, do I get a credit on this?"

"I'd be honored to share my statue with you."

"We'd each get our own, wouldn't we?"

"I don't know."

"Well, if there's only one, we'll alternate months."

"Sounds good."

"Or something."

"Sounds even better."


- end  -


Challenge elements:
500 words or less - all dialogue
Must use the following words:
sunshine
leather
congratulations
Bermuda onions
attic