Impossible Things
by Christine Leigh

Summary: Post-Within/Without.  Scully brings her mother up to
speed on recent events in her life.
Rating: PG
Category: V, A
Spoilers: "Requiem"
Disclaimer: All characters are the products of Chris Carter. They
also belong to Ten-Thirteen Productions and the Fox Network. No
copyright infringement intended. 
Archiving: If you would like to archive anywhere, I'd  appreciate a
quick note first. 
Email: Feedback is always welcome, leighchristine@hotmail.com


June 2000

Maggie Scully turned out the lamp beside her bed.  The book she
was reading was holding her interest only at the so-so level, and
she'd decided that she would rather dream herself to sleep.  She
had been doing that for about five minutes when the phone rang.  It
was a quarter past ten on Saturday night, not a time she usually
received calls, and she said a fast prayer before picking up.

"Hello."

"Mom, hello."

"Dana.  Hi.  Is everything all right?"  There was no point in not
getting right to the point.  Too many calls over too few years
conveying less than desirable news had caused Maggie to become
queen of the wary.

"Mom, I'm sorry if I woke you.  Were you asleep?"

"No.  I put my book down just a few minutes ago.  What's going
on sweetheart?"  Dana had left her a message a couple of weeks
back, but every time Maggie had tried to return the call there had
been no answer.  

"Mom, there are some things I need to tell you.  I don't mean to
sound mysterious, and I know this must seem very out-of-the-blue,
but are you busy tomorrow afternoon?"

Maggie's heart rate had increased at least threefold, but she tried
to remain sounding calm.

"No.  Why don't you come over for lunch?  And you know you're
always welcome to go with me to church."  It had been several
weeks since they'd gone together.  What, dear God, she thought,
could this be about?  She could hear her daughter's steady
breathing as the offer was being pondered.

"I think I might like to do that."

"Good.  Dana, please tell me you're all right."

"I'm all right, Mom.  I just need to talk to you."

*Need.*  Maggie could probably count on her fingers the number
of times she'd heard this word from Dana beyond the age of fifteen,
and now she'd heard it twice in one conversation.

"Well then, do you want to come here first, and we'll go together in
my car?"

"It might be better if I meet you there."

"Okay.  I'll wait outside for you on the steps."

"Thank you, Mom."

"Love you, sweetheart."

"I love you too, Mom.  See you tomorrow."

They hung up.

Maggie lay in the dark and waited for her heart to stop pounding. 
She should probably get up and get a glass of water, but she really
didn't feel like moving.  She looked across the room.  It was a
gorgeous night and she had a window open, and through it poured
a beam of moonlight.  She stared at it and willed her mind to think
of anything else.  Tara had called today.  She'd held the receiver for
Matthew and let him talk to his grandmother.  Maggie was so
proud of how well he was able to communicate for a
two-year-and-a half-year-old.  Tara was really missing Bill, Jr. 
They didn't speak of it -- there was no need to do so.  Both women
knew that it didn't really help the situation any to talk about it. 
Better to focus on looking forward to his next leave.  Always, the
next leave -- only now she wasn't thinking about Tara.  Oh, better
not to go there, Maggie thought, but she couldn't help herself once
she'd started, and her heart slowed some as she allowed her mind
to wander back.  Back through years of many conversations with
young children and lonely nights.  Then she remembered another
night.  One that had been made for love, and that while already
special, in the end turned out to be even more so.

Like tonight, it had been June.  She and Bill had finally stolen some
time alone together and had gone swimming in the ocean on that
moonlit night.  He'd been back three days, but they'd had no time
to themselves until, finally, the only sitter Maggie trusted had
become available on Saturday night.  So, while Bill, Jr. and Melissa 
were safe in bed back at the house, their parents swam and then sat
on the beach eating a picnic dinner, enjoying good wine, and
necking like a couple of teenagers.  It was a favorite spot of theirs
and they had it to themselves that night.  Bill would have taken
things further, but Maggie had said that perhaps they'd better leave
those scenes to the movies.  She remembered how wonderful it felt,
though, to have her man back in her arms, and the feel of the
saltwater foaming all around them.  When they returned home, Bill
quickly paid the sitter.  Cathy lived very near by, something Maggie
had always taken for granted, but for which she was now quite
grateful.  Bill walked her home and was back in a matter of
minutes.  They conceived their third child that night.

Please, God, Maggie prayed, as she finally started to drift to sleep. 
Please let her be all right.

*****

Sunday Morning
10:30 a.m.

They met just in time to go inside the church before Mass started,
so did not talk.  Maggie was able to steal glances during the
service, though, and could see that Dana was quite pale.  She also
noticed that Dana knelt with her head bowed in prayer for the
duration following Communion, not sitting down until Father had. 
After Mass ended, and as they were standing to exit the pew,
Maggie wondered about Fox.  It now occurred to her that she
hadn't thought to ask Dana about him last night.  She knew he'd
had a tough time after his mother's death, but the few occasions
since then that she'd spoken to him on the phone when he'd
answered at the office, he'd been as he always was, very kind and
polite.  Surely, though,  if Fox were ill or had been injured, Dana
would have told her.  Too, if that were so, Dana would be with
him, so it couldn't be.  No, it must be something else.  

"Dana, I'd like to light a candle."   

Scully nodded in assent and the two of them headed to the alcove
off one of the side aisles where a statue of St. Jude was located. 
Maggie started to reach inside her purse, but her daughter beat her
to it and put a donation  into the candle box.  Scully could see the
question in her mother's eyes, but suddenly lighting a candle seemed
a comforting thing to do.  The familiar was becoming necessary in
ways other than the one which she could no longer touch.  She
placed a hand on her mother's arm and for a moment they just
looked at each other, their hearts so full that neither wanted to
speak.  Each took a match.  Maggie lighted one candle and Scully
two. 

*Who are you lighting these for Dana?  Please, God, don't let it be
the cancer.*

Then they knelt and prayed -- for their loves and for their lives, for
a recognizable world.  For impossible things.

Outside they parted and went to their individual cars.  Maggie
sensed that even if Dana had been with her on the drive home 
that it would have been a quiet ride.

*****

"Do you want coffee or tea?"

"Actually, orange juice sounds good.  Mom, you don't have to wait
on me.  I'll get it."  Scully started to get up from the couch.
     
"Stay put.  I have to throw some greens in a bowl anyway." 

"All right."

"There are some new pictures from Jeana there on the table.  The
house is coming along on schedule so far.  Charles has a beard." 
Maggie tossed these tidbits out, trying to keep things light as she
went to the kitchen.  

Scully picked the envelope up and removed the photographs.  Sure
enough, the first one showed Charlie sporting his new look.  With
the beard he resembled Byers, she thought.  She looked at  it for a
few seconds and then returned it and the rest of the photos to the
envelope, and placed it back on the table.  She needed to stay
focused on the matter at hand.

For the thousandth time since yesterday, she wondered where she
would start.  She was tired and numb.  She knew that she would
cycle back into being unable to speak Mulder's name without
crying, but was now grateful for the numbness, not to mention the
lack of morning sickness.  She'd not had that yet today.  She
needed to get this out; wanted to.  Her mother deserved to know
the situation.  She kicked her shoes off and swung her legs up onto
the couch, and grabbed one of the big pillows and hugged it to her. 
This was something she'd done many times as a child, often falling
into a wonderful dream world until something, or more often
someone, came to break up her reverie.  She had no dreams today.

"Here we go."  Maggie placed a tray with a glass of orange juice
and a glass of iced tea on the coffee table.  She picked up her tea
and drank. Dana left her juice on the tray, Maggie noticed.  Dana
had endured so much in recent years and she was strong, but
looking at her sitting there hugging that pillow made her seem so
vulnerable, and Maggie wanted to hold her tight as she had when
she was a little girl. 

Scully looked at her mother and decided, finally.  The beginning --
she would start there.  She had an odd flashback to her freshman
year in college. This was the only time in her life she'd ever watched
soap operas and all around her any given afternoon, there would be
fellow students relaying all the details to other students who had
missed that day's episode.  Perhaps, Scully thought, if I pretend that
I'm doing that, I'll get through this.  She was desperate to do this
without falling apart.  She knew her mother was waiting.  

"Mom, I'm sorry that I haven't spent much time with you lately.  I've
. . . No.  We've been so busy."

"There's no need to apologize, Dana.  I know how intensive 
your work is."

Scully nodded.  But she didn't know how else to start this.

"Mom, you see, the thing is that this time it wasn't just the work."

Well, now.  Maggie tried not to react with too much surprise.

"Oh?"

"Mom, I know you know that in addition to being partners that
Mulder and I have been close friends.  Best friends, really."

Maggie's heart leapt.  Well, if that is what this was all about, then
why was Dana so pale?  Maggie was well aware that her daughter
and Fox Mulder loved each other, for better or worse.  And while
Maggie was quite fond of Fox, there still were times when it
seemed for worse.  She didn't like feeling that way, but couldn't
help it.  It wasn't that she didn't want them together.  She wanted
them together and safe.  And then, there was Melissa.  She bore 
no ill will toward Fox over Melissa's death, but the same could not 
be said of everyone in the Scully family.  In the end none of that 
mattered, though.  Fox was the man for Dana, and her daughter 
had every right to the kind of happiness that she herself had once 
known.

"Sweetheart, I do know.  I also know that Fox would give his life
for you, and you yours, for his.  I don't like to think about that
aspect of your friendship, but at the same time, it's always been 
a comfort knowing it."

"We're more than friends, Mom.  We love each other.  That is,
we're in love.  We've been together since April."  Scully let a breath
out after saying this.  She'd never said aloud to anyone besides
Mulder that she loved him.   

Maggie bowed her head, and smiled.  

"Sweetheart, I'm happy for you.  For both of you.  Come here." 
Maggie set her tea down and opened her arms.  Scully removed
the pillow from her lap and entered her mother's embrace.  Oh,
how she'd envisioned this moment in the past.  Telling her mother
that she and Mulder had finally taken that next step was going to be
a glorious revelation.  Only now, the glory had a shadow.  For just
a few seconds, though, she let her mother hold her as though all
were right and well.  When they let go, she stayed sitting next to
Maggie.

"Where is Fox today?  Do you think he'd like to join us?"

Scully took a deep breath and then picked up her glass of juice and
sipped.  It went down well, and she put the glass back on the tray.

"Mom, there's more to tell.  I started at the beginning because I
couldn't think of any other way to do this."

More.  That could be good or bad, Maggie supposed.  She waited,
as Dana took another sip of her juice.  Something had shifted.  It
was nothing Maggie could pinpoint, but Dana seemed very far
away as she continued to speak.

"A few weeks ago Mulder and I went to Oregon on a case.  It was
actually a follow-up to the very first case we were on together
seven years ago.  Back then there had been a series of prior
disappearances of several high school students that couldn't be
explained in any conventional way, and we were called in when
another one had just occurred.  It was never said officially, but I do
believe now as Mulder did then, that those boys and girls were
abducted.  Arguably by what would be called aliens."  Scully
paused.  There was no other way -- she just had to say it.  "We
received a call a few weeks back from Billy Miles, a young man
who had been taken and returned seven years ago.  He was calling
to say that it was happening again, so Mulder and I went to
investigate.  It felt so strange to be there again.  Aside from the
faces being older, nothing much had changed.  And of course, there
we were, so far from where I would have ever thought we'd one
day be."

Maggie reached for her daughter's hand and squeezed it. 
Unpredictability was about the only consistency there was in this
life.  Dana continued with her story.

"There had also been a crash of an unidentified craft in the woods
there, where the abductions had occurred.  The sheriff would not
acknowledge this, but there were witnesses.  And then Billy, who is
his son, disappeared.  Presumably, he was taken again.  And there
were others.  There was nothing more to be done at this point, or
so we thought, and we returned home."

"That wasn't the end of it, though.  Two days later information was
given to us that indicated that there actually was something -- the
craft that had crashed it was believed, in those woods, and that it
was rebuilding itself.  I know how this must sound, Mom."

Maggie shook her head.  "Go on."

"Mulder wanted to go back to Oregon immediately, but insisted
that I stay here.  He pointed out that former abductees -- Billy, and
Teresa, another woman who had been taken before, were among
those being taken now, and that I'm a former abductee.  I couldn't
refute that, and know I'd feel the same if our positions had been
reversed.  I didn't want him to go, but there was no way to stop
him."  She took a breath.  "At least then."  Scully had lost count of
how many times she had played the sequence of events back in her
head.  If only she'd known what she learned a day later, before he'd
left.  

"I'm very grateful to Assistant Director Skinner.  I asked him to go
with Mulder, and he agreed to do that.  After they left, I started to
read through the medical records of the abductees and discovered
that there was a connection between them and Mulder.  Mom, last
fall Mulder was ill.  I won't go into the details now, but he
experienced a form of anomalous brain activity called
electro-encephalitic trauma. The records I was reading through
indicated that Billy, Teresa, and the other abductees had all
experienced the same thing."   

Maggie felt a foreboding, but tried to shake it off.   It couldn't be. 
Fox was home, surely.

"Also, I experienced dizzy spells while we were in Oregon, and had
thought I had a touch of flu or something.  I was somewhat better
when we returned, but still didn't feel 100 percent so called my
doctor for an appointment.  However, when I was reading the
information in the records that connected Mulder to the abductees,
I fainted."

Maggie took her daughter's hand again.  She didn't let go.

"Luckily, I wasn't alone, and the episode didn't last long.  However,
when I contacted my doctor she did want to run some tests
immediately, and I entered the hospital for a couple of days."

Now Maggie was turning pale.

"Mom, there is no bad news about my health.  Just the opposite,
actually."  Scully knew she needed to clarify this as soon as
possible, and having done so, felt that she could stop for a moment. 
Breathing normally had become a lofty goal, it seemed, in recent
days.  This was a surreal situation.  She turned to face her mother.  

"I'm pregnant."

"Pregnant?"

"Yes, Mom.  It's true. I'm going to have a baby."  Then, very softly
she said what she had not yet said to anyone.

"I'm going to have Mulder's baby."  The numbness had gone, but in
the split second before the dam broke, Scully smiled at her mother.

"Oh, my darling.  I'm so happy for you."  Maggie was confounded,
but thrilled to tears.  She tried to hold them back, but they came. 
She put her arms around her daughter and they held onto each
other so tight in this precious moment that neither had thought she
would ever experience.  There were so many questions running
through Maggie's mind, but none that she could ask.  Dana was
pregnant and that was cause for joy.  And what was this?  Not joy. 
No, not at all.  Dana was sobbing, harder than Maggie had ever
seen her cry.  And shaking.  Then Maggie remembered the
foreboding she'd felt a few minutes ago, and the realization hit her. 
Fox was not at home or anywhere else that he could answer a
phone call inviting him to dinner.  

It was several minutes later when Scully's sobs subsided enough
for her to move, and when she did she shifted so as to lay her head 
in her mother's lap.  Maggie proceeded to stroke her daughter's hair,
while listening to her breathing become more steady.  Dana would
survive this time, of that she had no doubt.  The cruelty of the
situation, however,  was something very difficult for Maggie to 
fathom. For her, survival always came down to faith, and Maggie 
could only hope and pray that this would be true of Dana, also.  She
knew Dana's faith had been renewed during her bout with cancer. 
Would it be enough, though, this time to see her through?

"Mom, there is something else."

"I thought there might be."

"Mulder is . . ."  Scully couldn't say the words.  

"I'm sorry that I'll have to wait to congratulate him, sweetheart. 
He'll make a wonderful father." 

"I have to find him, Mom."  

"I have faith that you will.  You have to take care of yourself,
though."

She knew that if there were no pregnancy that Dana would be in
Oregon this minute, and she understood that.  But there was, and
Maggie was going to make it her mission to see that Fox returned
home to a healthy Dana.  Strength would be needed all around. 
Then she recalled something from long ago.  

"Dana, do you remember what you said to Fox when he came to
see you the morning after you awoke from your coma?"

"That I had the strength of his beliefs?"

"Yes.  I hadn't known him very long at that point, obviously, but I
could feel the goodness in him when  you said that, and then when
he handed you back your cross.  I knew at that moment that
whatever was to come after, that this man would stop at nothing to
protect you, and I could understand your pulling strength from him." 

"I always have, Mom.  Always."  Involuntarily, Scully's hand went
to her throat.  Maggie noticed that her necklace was missing.  

"And you will continue to do so.  As will he, from you.  I believe
that."

"I love him so, Mom.  I need him." 

"I know, sweetheart.  I know." 
     

- end  -