All Things (Can Be Squeezed Into A Suitcase) by littlemisfit5290 Classifications: Pre-IWTB Summary: What happens when two federal agents share one suitcase. MSR. One-shot. Based off the prompt "There's no way you can fit all that in your suitcase, and you're not using mine." Enjoy! * * * October 2004 "I told you, Scully." "Shut up, Mulder and help me." Shaking his head he does as asked, sets the rolling luggage bag on the metal table before unzipping it under the watchful eye of the TSA worker. "You'll need to reduce the contents of the luggage or we'll have to charge you for the extra weight," the woman behind the counter reminds as Scully nods, starts sifting through the neatly packed clothes and souvenirs. "Scully, we can just put the fine on a credit card, I don't-" "After the amount the plane tickets cost us I'm not about to pay more for a bag that barely exceeds the weight limit." "You're actually over by-" Interrupted with a glare from Scully, an apologetic look from Mulder, the TSA woman frowns, crosses her arms as the two continue rifling through the bag. "I can't believe a handful of souvenirs are going to wind up costing us 75 dollars." "Well you were the one that went crazy in Harrods yesterday," Mulder reminds. "I saw that tote bag and all your fancy, artisan chocolate. The new shoes." "Shoes that I'm wearing on my feet right now. Half the crap weighing this bag down right now is yours!" "You were the one that said we should only bring one bag to check. And you also told me more than once I couldn't squeeze my stuff into your carry on." "Mulder, you were looking to bring back materials from the crop circle that could easily be seen as biohazards." "Maybe to the untrained eye." "Well even a trained eye could tell us we have no way to reduce this bag's weight unless we dispose of half of its contents." "So many disposable items here. How can we ever decide," Mulder scoffs, rolling his eyes as he lifts up a sweater, revealing a makeup case. "What are you less attached to Scully? This sweater and jacket or your makeup?" "Why are you getting rid of my things first?" she asks, arching a brow. "A makeup case is heavier than a shaving kit." "I'd like to see you prove that." "Here, hold for yourself," he says, offering her the two zip cases. "I'd prefer to get the results more scientifically, Mulder." Setting Mulder's kit on the baggage scale Scully makes a mental note of the weight, then swaps it out for her makeup case. Realizing her Clinique bag weighs slightly more she unzips it, puts her eyelash curler in the to be thrown away pile, along with Mulder's entire shave kit. "What's that about?! Mine clearly weighs less and-" "And you have the contents of the entire shaving kit twice over at home." "Alright, fine. I'll surrender the shaving kit but you need to lose something else too." Agreeing to get rid of her hair straightener, knowing she can get a new one back home, she realizes after parting with the items they still haven't reached the weight limit. Sadly she nods to the box she wrapped a scarf around, nestled in the corner of the suitcase. "We can get rid of the teapot," she says sadly. "Scully, no! You were excited about the teapot." "I have a perfectly good one at home, Mulder. It makes no sense having two." "But you picked out the pattern saying it went with the kitchen tile. And you promised the other one you have to your mom." "It's taking up too much space though. I don't-" Shaking his head Mulder reaches in the other corner of the bag for a small object similarly bundled in a pair of socks. "Mulder, no." "Scully, it's a rock in a suitcase that's weighed down too much as it is. It's alright." "No, it's not. That's your replica of the Roswell rock that inspired this trip in the first place. You were the one who wanted to compare the patterns from it to the crop circle!" Scully exclaims, taking it from him. "It's not getting trashed, I won't let you trash it." "Scully, I can just have the image silk screened on a t-shirt or something. And I got a rock related souvenir already, remember?" he asks, grabbing the newer version of his Stonehenge Rocks cap from the suitcase and putting it on his head. "That's not the same, Mulder. I never even see you wearing the original one you bought. Keep your Roswell rock." "Only if you keep your teapot." "Look like we're paying the excessive baggage fee," Scully sighs, knowing a line is forming behind them and this process is getting them nowhere. Reaching for her wallet, she goes to fish out her credit card when Mulder stops her. "It's fine, I got it," he says, handing over a card that Scully frowns at, not recognizing. "Mulder, when did you apply for a new credit card?" she asks, lowering her voice. "You know that it's safer if I'm the one who-" "It's alright, Scully," Mulder says. When she arches a brow, looks unconvinced he gently turns her towards him, holds her by the shoulders. "I don't care if it's coming on three years that we've gone without anyone catching up to us. This is still a big risk, Mulder. You of all people ought to-" "Last time I took this trip I sent Skinner my expense report. Why not keep the tradition going?" Smiling, Mulder shows her the VISA card and she realizes it was gifted to them by their former boss. "You're kidding. He arranged for-" "It was an early Christmas present. He figured you and I earned ourselves a break from motels and aliases. Even just for a few days." "He was the one who sent you the rock. Wasn't he?" Nodding, Mulder smiles softly, slips an arm around Scully's shoulder as he hands the woman the card. "When we get home we can get a little display case for it," Scully says. "Put it on a shelf or something." "Yeah, maybe can put it next to that Buddha statue you gave me," Mulder suggests, getting a nod and a smile as Scully zips the suitcase back up. "That sounds fine. But first I'm making us some tea."