Condoms (9/18)
by Lola

e-mail: lolabeegood@gmail.com

Time: Set during and post-The Truth.
Spoilers: Everything up to the end of the series.
Summary: Mulder hates condoms for more than the obvious reasons.
Overall Rating: NC-17

I do not own the characters.  I do not make any money from this.
Enjoy!

***

She sheathed his cock with the latex and gently, lovingly, cupped 
his balls when she got to the bottom.

"There's only a couple left, we'll have to buy more in Georgia" 
she said as she laid back.

"No, we'll have to do something more permanent in Georgia." 

"Mulder, we're not even considering a vasectomy until I can do 
it in a sterile environment" she said as she rose to her elbows.

He leaned over her forcing her to lay back down and grabbed her 
hands and pulled them over her head, pinning her in place.

"Mulder.." she began again.

"Scully, I can't do this anymore and it's not just because it 
takes away all sensation.." he said as he thrust into her.

"I know, I know" she caught her breath with each thrust "but 
it's only a couple more months at the most and then we can 
exorcise this demon once and for all."

He continued to thrust inside of her as she rocked her hips 
against him and wrapped her legs around his waist. She was 
starting to pant, a sure sign he was hitting just the right 
spot on her cervix.

"Ok" he sighed as he nipped her neck.

"Ok?" she panted for clarification.

"Ok Scully, a couple more months and then I'm handing my 
manhood over to you."

"Haven't you always?" she chuckled as he leaned in for a 
kiss.

Just then a light flicked on two rows in front of Mulder and 
he was pulled out of the best part of that memory.  It had 
just been two days ago, but after 4 bus transfers it was 
getting harder and harder to sleep and easier and easier to 
have waking sex dreams.  Apparently he wasn't the only one 
who could not sleep in the middle of the night.  The man 
was opening a book when his girlfriend took offense.

"Can't you just do this for me, and sleep like a normal 
person for once?" she chided.

"Why do you have to make this personal?  It's always about 
you!" he snapped back.

"Because it is personal.  I need my sleep before the reunion 
tomorrow and you just don't give a damn about me" she hissed 
back.

With that the man angrily flicked off the light turned in his 
seat so his back was toward her and mumbled "I'm always the 
bad guy" as the couple went silent.

Mulder frowned as he remembered back to a time he and Scully 
were with the Lone Gunman:

"You're making this personal" he had said.

"Because it is personal Mulder, because without work, personal 
interest is all I have...and if you take that away from me, 
then I can't help you anymore."

Her words had taken his breath away; it was the closest she 
had ever come to admitting they were in a relationship to 
others.  It was an issue they disagreed about.

Since Kroner she had kept their relationship hidden like some 
dirty little secret.  It's not like they'd been living together, 
hell, except for a handful for times they'd hardly been 
together in the biblical sense.  But Scully had gone out of 
her way to distance herself from him so everyone could see.  
They'd spent less time together, she'd acted cold toward him 
when others were around, had even taken a case separate from 
him in New York.  

Even their sexual encounters were calculated.  Never on the 
road, only in the daytime when it would be plausible for them 
to be working at each others apartments, and no evidence left 
behind.  Hell, it was almost like she brought an evidence 
team to clean up in the bedroom after they had had sex.  

In his heart he felt like a male prostitute.  But it was too 
soon in their relationship, he was too needy for any contact 
with her, and he was too much of a coward to face a conversation 
that may end this.  He knew that she knew he wasn't happy.  
He also knew that, on some level, she didn't care.  This was 
all she could give right now--take it or leave it.  He greedily 
accepted it.    

Mulder also knew that his history with Diana was not helping 
the already fragile house of cards their new relationship was 
existing on.  Scully wanted to know everything about his past 
and current relationship with Diana but was too proud to ask. 
He, in some passive-aggressive move, didn't bother to divulge 
any details.  In his own mind he knew it was the only control 
he had over their relationship.  

During this time the sex had been good but also filled with 
anger.  It was almost as if they were taking out their 
frustrations on the other person in the bedroom.  Their bodies 
were working out what their minds and hearts wouldn't allow.  
She had a heart she refused to hand over and he had a past he 
refused to share.  He knew that they loved each other; they 
were just too fucked up to take the risks necessary to make 
it work.  

Suddenly a light flicked on two rows ahead of Mulder pulling 
him out of his reverie.

The man rolled toward his girlfriend who had turned on the 
light. 

"You go ahead and read.  I know how much you hate buses.  
I'll throw this shirt over my eyes" she offered.

"You sure?" he asked.

"Yes" she sighed as she turns away from him.

Mulder began to think that maybe he and Scully were just as 
fucked up as everyone else, no more, no less.  His eyes were 
only slightly drowsy as he thought about the 2 more bus 
transfers he'd take and the one more day on the road he's 
spend until he was with Scully again.  Despite the fact that 
they were criminals on the run, their relationship was in a 
much better place then it was back then.  He chuckled to 
himself when he realized that it was their attempt at 
in-vitro that changed the dynamic of their relationship. 
It was an odd step but in the end, the right one to take.  
On paper and in a Petri dish Scully was acknowledging that 
he was more than her work and sex partner.  They were 
making a baby together, for everyone to know, and it was a 
start in his mind.  He still remembered the meeting with 
Dr. Parenti:

He was sitting in a nice, overly neat office with lots of 
natural light waiting for Dr. Parenti to stop shuffling 
through his paperwork and start speaking to him.

"So, we're just going to go over some of your family, 
biological, and sexual history here" he began.

"No problem."

"Any genetic diseases we should be aware of?"

"My family has a history of near-sightedness and red-green 
colour blindness" Mulder responded.

"Heart attacks? Strokes?"

"No, no."

"Cancer?"

"No"

"Diabetes?"

"My Great Aunt Mildred had juvenile diabetes, but that's 
it as far as I know."

"Mental disorders?"

"Diagnosed?" Mulder asks to be funny.

"Um, yes" Dr. Parenti responds obviously uncomfortable.

"No" Mulder chuckles.

"Okay, Mr. Mulder, you can fill out the rest of that form 
with my nurse.  I just wanted to check on the big ones."

"Fine, whatever you need doctor.  I just want to help Dana."

"I know, I know" he mutters "now, for your sexual history.  
How many sexual partners in the last year?"

"Besides myself?" Mulder joked.

"Yes."

"One."

"Using condoms?"

"No."

"Is it a monogamous relationship?" he asks as he flips 
through papers "are you married Mr. Mulder?"

"No, I'm not married, and as far as I know, we are just 
sleeping with each other."

"You know Mr. Mulder" he says as he looks up from the file 
"in this day and age, with all the sexually transmitted 
diseases out there..."

"It's okay Doctor.  I know she's clean and she knows I am.  
I trust her."

"Well...you never can be sure" he replies as he looks 
back to his folder.

"It's Dana." 

"Oh" Dr. Parenti looks uncomfortable all at once "she hadn't 
made me aware of her sexual relationship with you. I had 
no idea your connection with her was beyond that of a 
friend and donor."

"I'm not surprised." 

"I'm sorry Mr. Mulder but this doesn't match up" he begins 
as he flips through pages in the file "Ms. Scully also 
indicated that she was in one sexual relationship but that 
she used condoms in that relationship."

"Trust me Doctor, we don't, I would have noticed.  We know 
she can't get pregnant, so it was never a discussion.  She 
probably said we use them  to avoid these types of questions. 
The last thing she wants to talk about is us."

"I see" is the only response he gives before he closes the 
file and folds his hands in front of himself.

"Are you sure this is what you want to do Mr. Mulder?  It 
sounds like you and Ms. Scully have a complicated enough 
relationship without adding in-vitro fertilization to the 
list" he truthfully says.

"I'm sure Dr. Parenti.  We do have a complicated relationship, 
but I know it won't always be that way.  I want more than 
anything to do this for Dana."

"Ok then" he sighs "let's get on with the physical 
examination..."

Mulder then remembered Scully taking hormone shots while 
they were in Arcadia.  He remembered her being wound up 
tighter then a thread and feeling like she was ready to snap 
at any minute.  How she was so sensitive and hostile all the 
time.  And how, the first attempt at in-vitro upon their 
return from that case had failed.  It was after this first 
failure that something snapped in Scully.  It was almost as 
if she said 'fuck it' and decided to relax.  Relax about 
the in-vitro, relax about them.  Mulder welcomed the change.

They had gone out to dinner together and made slow passionate 
love afterwards.  He had spent a few nights at her place and 
had noticed that a haz-mat team had not come in afterwards 
to destroy all evidence.  She opened her heart to him and 
he opened his past to her.  He told her about his brief and 
shitty marriage to Diana and the no-nonsense divorce that 
happened 6 months after she left for Europe.  About how it 
was for these reasons that he trusted her and still thought 
of her as a friend.  Because she had never, in all the years 
he had known her, betrayed him or used any knowledge she 
had about him, against him.  

Then he had taught her to play baseball the night before their 
second, and last, attempt.  She was relaxed and happy.  He 
was sure this time it would take.  The procedure had gone 
well and they had left the office hopeful.  A week later when 
Scully went for her follow-up appointment there was no baby.  
She walked into her apartment devastated.  That was it. 
No baby.  Or so they believed...

Thoughts of William filled  Mulder's heart as he drifted off 
to sleep and the bus moved on toward Scully.

************

Continued in Part 10