Condoms (15/18) by Lola e-mail: lolabeegood@gmail.com Time: Set during and post-The Truth. Spoilers: Everything up to the end of the series, IWTB. Summary: Mulder hates condoms for more than the obvious reasons. Overall Rating: NC-17 Author's Notes: It's looking like it'll be wrapped around part 18 or 20 so hang in there as I finish it off. I have really enjoyed this WIP and love all the comments people have been sending--keep them coming! I really wanted to explore Mulder and Scully's life after The Truth and wanted to tie some of my thoughts to the earlier series--thus the flashbacks to other episodes. I am trying to make everything fit together nicely (but even CC couldn't hold true to that always!). So, if you notice any issues with the original storyline please let me know so I can fix it. I do not own the characters. I do not make any money from this. Enjoy! *************** Mulder walked into the cabin with a towel tightly wrapped around his hips and dripping all over the place. "Mulder!" Scully cried from the sink. "What?" he asked with a grin. "You couldn't towel off outside instead of bringing half the river in here?" "But then you would miss the show" he said as he dropped his towel off his hips and sauntered around naked while he dried himself off. "I'm going to be seeing enough of your penis over the next few days, I don't think I need the show now." "Killjoy" he said as he reached for some pants. "Don't put those on yet Mulder." "Ahhh, see I knew my unabashed nudity was a turn on." "Actually, I need to shave you for when James arrives." "What?" "The area" she stumbles "needs to be hair free for the procedure." "Oh" he said looking down "how hair free?" "Pretty naked" she replied with a shrug. "You want to do that now?" "Yes, in case I nick you it needs time to heal a bit before James arrive so there's no infection." "Nick me?" "Mulder, I have shaved a million patients. I'm sure you'll be just fine." "If you say so. But remember Scully, its James whose doing the vasectomy so don't get any funny ideas with that razor in your hands" Scully laughed and turned to him with shaving cream, scissors and a razor in hand. "Ok, get comfortable." Mulder lay down on the bed and looked at her strangely. "What?" she asked. "I was just thinking of the last time you gave me a shave." "I've never shaved this region Mulder." "No, but you have given me a shave." It was the first morning of the new millennium. Mulder woke in his bed alone and aching. Scully had driven him home after the hospital, drugged him, and tucked him in. He wanted her to stay but she said she'd be back in the morning. She had been acting strangely since her return from Africa. Mulder couldn't blame her. Between his stay in the loony bin, his brain surgery, her discovery in Africa, Diana's death, and everything in between their life together had been very odd lately. It seemed as if she had backed away from him, distancing herself from what they used to have as a couple and what Mulder desperately wanted to get back. He had kissed her at the stroke of midnight, the first time in over a month, because he wanted to, because he loved her, because he wanted to show her that they could go back to the way things had been. They had not had sex since the summer and Mulder felt that if he didn't start to push her a little, things could settle back into their post-romantic rhythm of teasing and not acting. She responded strangely to the kiss and didn't say anything about it afterwards. It was now 9am and Mulder knew that if he didn't start moving soon his body would really stiffen up. He gingerly lifted himself from the mattress and walked toward his bathroom hoping a shower would get rid of his foggy mind. The shower itself was painful. The heat from the water burned his scratches. Having to clean himself with his opposite hand was awkward and more then a few times he banged his sore elbow against the tiles. All in all, he was happy to get out of the stream of water and onto the tile floor. As he stood there attempting to clumsily towel off he heard something in the kitchen. "Scully?" "Yeah, it's me" he heard but the rest of her words were muffled by the loud fan in his washroom. "I'll be out in a minute" he yelled back. "Don't worry about it. I'm just dropping some food off." she said as he walked into his bedroom. He walked unabashedly naked from the bathroom knowing that if he waited another two minutes to get dressed she would be out the door and he wouldn't hear from her until the requisite phone call before bed. She would call to make sure he took his medication. He was determined to change the way she was acting toward him. "Scully, can't you stay?" he asked as he rounded the corner and almost walked right into Mrs. Scully. "Mulder!" Scully yelled. "Ahhh, ahhh, Mrs. Scully" he said as he covered himself with his hands and quickly retreated to his bedroom. "Oh my!" was all Mulder heard from her mother as his ass rounded the corner. He threw on some pants, took a minute to compose himself and walked red-faced into his kitchen ready to apologize. "Mrs. Scully, I am soo..." "No, I'm sorry Fox. You were obviously unaware of my presence in your home" she quickly interrupted. "Uh, Mrs. Scully, I normally don't greet your daughter naked" was all he could think of to reply. "Mulder," Scully interjected, trying to change the subject "didn't you hear me say my mother was with me?" "If I did, I would have had some clothes on" he sarcastically replied. "Let's just chalk it up to one big misunderstanding. And, it's nothing I haven't seen before, so there's no need to stand there red as a tomato Fox. Dana," she said turning to her daughter "I'll meet you downstairs." "Okay, mom. I'll just be a minute." "Fox, it was nice seeing you" she snickered "all of you." Mulder plastered a fake grin on his face as she left his apartment. "Mulder, I..." Scully began. "Scully, I can't believe" he started as he covered his eyes with his hands "I just walked into you mother buck naked." "Well, that's one way to start the new year" was all she could chuckle back. "You...you planned this" he said pointing at her. "I did no such thing" she defended herself "how could I possibly plan this scenario, Mulder? No, this one was all your doing." "What are you doing bringing your mother to my place at 9:30 in the morning anyways?" "My Aunt Edna hosts a New Year's brunch every January first. My mother and I were on our way there and I was stopping by with some food from my fridge so you didn't starve." "Oh" he relented "well you could have given me some more warning." "I called and left a message." Mulder's head swung around to reveal a blinking light on his answering machine. "Oh." "Look Mulder, I have to go. My mom is waiting downstairs." "Scully" he began as he rubbed his forehead trying to ward off the headache that was coming on "will you be back again later?" "I wasn't planning on it." Mulder was sick of all this cat and mouse shit. He stood up and pulled her toward him with his good arm and kissed her passionately. "That, is how I wanted to kiss you last night." he said with a seductive grin "Happy New Year Scully." "Happy New Year Mulder" she said breathlessly. "Please come back later. I want better memories of New Year's Day then the ones I have so far." "Okay." "Okay?" She released herself from his embrace "I'll be back later." Mulder had found ways to occupy himself for most of the day and around 2 o'clock Scully re-appeared. He opened the door as she was knocking. "Oh" she was surprised "miss me much?" "Always" he said as he reached to grab her again. "Mulder, you are going to damage your arm more if you keep grabbing me like that." "I happen to know a great doctor who can re-set it for me" he whispered as he nibbled on her earlobe. "Oh" she sighed "do you?" "Yes" he said as he worked his way down her neck "and she even makes house calls." "Hopefully not with her mother?" Mulder quickly pulled away "Is your mother here?" "No" she giggled. "Good" he said as he resumed kissing his way down her chest. "Mulder?" "Yes?" "How long has it been since you shaved?" "What?" "Shaved? How long since you've shaved?" "A couple of days, why?" "You're scratching my skin like crazy." "Sorry" he moved back "I'll stop." "No" she held him close to her "I have a better idea." She walked to his bathroom and returned with supplies. She motioned for him to take a seat on the kitchen table and he did so obligingly. She took her place between his legs. "You really hate stubble this much Scully?" "I'm worried about having stubble burn on my thighs" she countered. "Well, if that is an invitation to spend some time between your thighs after all this is done, please shave away." "It has been a while, hasn't it?" she asked as she lathered him up. "That it has. Why is that?" he ventured. She sighed and focused on her first up stroke. "Scully?" "It guess things have felt different lately" she conceded. "Different how?" "Mulder, it's just that...Oh, I don't know" she said as she took another stroke across his cheek. He held her wrist before she could continue "Scully, just say it." "You know, I feel stupid even mentioning it. It's like if I don't say it you won't see what an idiot I can be." "I'd never think that of you. Please, just tell me." He let go of her wrist and she resumed shaving him. "When you were...when you were unconscious in that facility." "Yes?" "You dreamed about a whole other existence. An existence without..." "You" Mulder offered. "Yes, and a life with her. With kids and a house. By all accounts, you were happy." "I was." "Why is that?" "Why is what?" "Why, when given the chance to have a happy future with someone, did your mind choose her?" "Scully, I've actually thought about that a lot." "And, have you anything to offer?" "I think that..." he started "and please, hear me out completely before you draw any conclusions?" "I will" she said as she continued to shave. "I think that, in my mind, life with Diana was a simple alternative. She didn't question me, she didn't stand in my way, she only wanted to please me. It was easy and uncomplicated. She had everything to offer me, a home, kids, a doting wife. And, I think that I could fall in love with that for a while." he paused looking at her squarely in the eye "But not forever." "So, did you fall in love?" "In a weird, non-real way, yes, I guess I did." "Do you regret that you don't have that?" she whispered. "No, because that wasn't real. In some alternate universe there must be a Fox Mulder living happy as a clam reading the Sunday paper and watching his kids play in the yard as his wife darns his socks. But I am not that alternate universe Mulder. I'm here, with you, and I wouldn't have it any other way." "You sure?" "Look Scully," he says as he places his hands around her waist "that world was not right for me. It took me a while to figure it out, but nothing was right without you. That is what makes me happy. Having you in my life. Not Diana, not a house, not kids. All I need is you. Once I realized that, the fake world started to fall apart because I wasn't buying into it anymore. That world, and my existence in it, wasn't meant to last forever. We are. You and me, together. Because, if, in reality you weren't part of my life..." "I know" she offered. "No, I think you need to hear it." he interjected "if in reality you weren't part of my life, there would be no life worth living. I love you Scully, and I always will. You're it for me." She put down the razor and leaned into him touching his forehead with hers. "And you're it for me Mulder." "Are we good?" he whispers. "We are" she smiles "and you are a handsome well-shaven man." He returns her smile and tilts his head to kiss her softly on the lips. He hops off the table and silently walks her to his bedroom where he tests the smoothness of his skin for the rest of the day. "All done" Scully announces from her spot kneeling between his legs. "Dare I look?" Mulder winces. "It does look a little weird" she offers. "Great." "Well, it's not like that region will be seeing any action for a while." "I guess not" he humphs. "But," she offers with a grin "it might see some action right now." "Scully, I don't think we should..." All words stopped as she wrapped her lips around the head of his penis. "Ohhh" he offered in realization. She started by slowly pulling her mouth along his shaft feeling it grow harder with each pull. She cupped his balls and rolled them loosely between her fingers gently massaging them. "That's nice" he growled as his cock became fully erect. She ran her tight mouth up and down his shaft while her tongue placed pressure on his hard cock. She finished each stroke by twirling her tongue around his head once she got to the top. The pressure was intense and Mulder found himself panting as he lay back on the bed. Her hands continued to massage his balls and roll them between her fingers. Mulder was starting to see stars and planets as he closed his eyes. She then took her moist, wet, mouth off his cock and started to suck on his hairless balls. Gently tugging them inside her mouth as her hand pumped his penis. Mulder felt the pressure start to build in his penis as Scully moved from his balls back to his penis again. Working it with her hands and mouth in a rhythmic motion until he exploded into her mouth. His wet juices hitting the back of her throat as she swallowed hard. After he was done coming she released his cock with a gentle 'pop' sound and lay down on the bed next to him. "That was amazing" Mulder panted. "I thought you liked it" she giggled. They lay together on the bed for almost an hour taking in the heat of the day and the closeness of the other. Scully was the first to break the silence. "I better get some lunch together, it's almost one." "You lay there and rest," Mulder said as he rose "I've got lunch." They ate their sandwiches in companionable silence and spent the remainder of the afternoon reading. Mulder trying to get his mind off the upcoming procedure, and Scully trying to think of ways to keep Mulder calm while the vasectomy was taking place. James arrived by car just after 6:30 in the evening and it was the first non-wilderness noise they had heard in two days. "James" Scully cheerfully greeted him as he walked toward the cabin. "Dana," he smiled "I'm sorry I'm later then I thought I'd be. I got held up at the clinic." "No worries" she offered. "Hi James" Mulder said from the porch "you've got a great cabin here." "Yes, we do. We don't get out here as often as I'd like, but it's still nice to have the option." The three people stood and looked at each other in awkward silence. "Why don't we" James offered "get started right away, while there's light and before Mulder faints." Mulder laughed but couldn't help but notice the cold sweat that had broken out over his forehead. James walked past them into the cabin and immediately began to set up his equipment. Mulder and Scully walked inside unsure of how to help. "What do you want me to do James?" Scully asked while rubbing her hands together. "Maybe you could shave the region while I set up?" "Already done" Scully offered. "Wow, you're eager." "Yes," Mulder snickered "a little too eager." "Ha, ha" Scully deadpanned. "Clean sheets?" he asked as he poured iodine over his hands in the sink. "Yep." "Well, there's not much else. I just need to get my stuff set up." he put on gloves and turned to open up a sterilized equipment pouch "I do something called the no-scalpel vasectomy. It's far less bloody, has just as good results, and doesn't involve needles" "Excuse me, a needle?" "How else did you think the area would be frozen?" Scully asked as she turned toward him. "I was thinking topical cream." "No, that's not enough. Trust me Mulder, it's not as painful as you are picturing in your head right now" James offered. "Says the man on the other side of the operation" Mulder snickered. James laughed, "That is true. Why don't you get comfortable on the bed and we'll get started." "That sounds like a line Scully used on me once" Mulder snickered as he removed his pants and laid down. "Mulder!" Scully swatted at him. Before long James had frozen the region and was starting to cut and cauterize one side. Mulder felt some tugging and pinching but so far James had been right. It wasn't as painful as he had envisioned. Scully was leaning over James' shoulder as he worked on Mulder's nether-regions. She looked far too interested in the procedure for Mulder's liking. "Mulder, James is now interposing the fascia..." "Scully, I really don't need the details." "Okay." "Thanks." "How are you doing, Mulder?" James asked. "I'm fine." "Sure? We can take a break after one side." "No, just keep going." "You know Mulder, you are going to have to take it easy, keep your feet up, keep the area chilled and take some pain killers over the next few days." "Got it doc." "And Dana, you are going to have to check for signs of infection and change the dressing." "No problem James." "I brought some antibiotics with me just in case there is an infection so you don't have to worry about going to a pharmacy." "Thanks James. That's really helpful" Scully smiled. "You know James, you were right about one thing." "What's that?" "Having Scully do this procedure would have been really weird." "Yeah, giving your boyfriend a vasectomy is a little off." "I'm not her boyfriend." "What?" James and Scully said at once. "I'm too old to be someone's boyfriend. I'm her man" They all laughed. "All done" James said with authority and Scully stood back "It looks good Mulder. I have to say, James did this much better, and far faster then I could have." James smiled and turned toward the sink to remove his gloves and clean up. "Only the best" Mulder winced as he tried to rise to look. "Mulder, lay back down and relax" Scully scolded. "I'm feeling a little exposed here, Scully" he pointed to his nudity. "Oh." She went to one of the shopping bags and opened up a package of new underwear. She walked toward him ready to put his feet through the bottoms. "Tighty whiteys, Scully?" "You need to keep everything...stable. Well-fitting jockey shorts do the job your boxers won't" she said as she started to raise them up his legs. "How long am I in these?" "Jockey shorts for about 1 week, Mulder" James announced from the sink area. "Great" he said as Scully pulled them into place. "No sex, with or without a partner, for the same amount of time." "I'm okay with that" Mulder winced as Scully gently placed a frozen bag on peas over his underwear. "You need to ejaculate at least 20 times before testing the sample." "Okay. How are we going to do that?" Mulder stopped "I mean, test the sample." "Once we get to Virginia I'm going to pick up a microscope." "Oh, how romantic." "When Dana gives you the all clear you are officially sterile, until then use condoms." "Yippeee" Mulder whimpers from across the room. "How are you feeling now?" James asks she he walks to Mulder's side. "Like someone just kicked me in the nuts." "That's normal." "Well then, I guess I feel normal." "Take these" Scully offers him some white pills and a glass of water. "Bottoms up" he groans as he sits forward to swallow them. Scully took the glass from him and gently pushed him back onto the bed raising his feet with a pillow and draping a sheet over him. "Just relax and I'll take care of everything" she said as she wiped his forehead. "No problem" Mulder groaned. "Thanks for doing this." "I'd do anything for you Scully. Compared to having William...this was a cake walk." She gave him a tightlipped grin and turned to face James. "James, do you want to stay for some supper? I have some pasta..." "That would be great. I'd love to catch up." "Mulder, you just lay there. If you're still awake when supper's ready I'll bring you some on the bed." Mulder heard Scully and James chatter in the kitchen area about childhood memories as he drifted off into a drug-induced sleep. ************************* Continued in Part 16