Far From Everything by Rebecka Feedback: chandlerina@hotmail.com Pairing: Scully/Mulder Rating: PG-13 Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to this. Settings: Post I Want to Believe. Author's Thanks: Thank you to the ever so wonderful curseddream. - With her arms wrapped around her legs, she watched him dive into the lake from the edge of the boat, her eyes focusing on the water as she counted the seconds before he again emerged to the surface. Her feet were bare against the soft, green grass, her hair hanging long and red down her back. The smell of coffee in the cup beside her and the grass and water was intoxicating, and it mixed with the warm feeling of the sunlight hitting her skin. He smiled at her as he stood bouncing in the water, only his head and shoulders showing. This new place had been the perfect choice for both of them, and they'd bought just hours after they'd first looked at it. It was far away from where they'd once been, far away from a life they'd both left behind. Far from everything. Even though she knew how thrilling it'd been for him to be out there, chasing monsters again, she hoped he could find some kind of peace here. Settle for a life that was just about them. He'd been eager to buy this house, and it was beautiful with a garden full of trees and flowers, right by the water. They both loved the water. And every morning, when she enjoyed a cup of coffee, he went out for a swim. And every morning, she sat in the grass and watched him. It'd been surprisingly easy to settle in this new place. They'd only taken a few of the pieces of furniture from the other house, and this time when they moved in, she'd wanted to paint it first. Having spent so much of their time in the darkness, she'd bought paint in light yellows and browns, and together they had turned the house into something new. Theirs. It hadn't been like that with the previous house, that had been used as a hide-away for far too long. Now it felt like they could move on, push the past aside. And if the darkness eventually found them, it would find them in the light. Sipping her coffee, she smiled as she watched him swim further out. He needed to be happy, to move and run and swim, not sit inside in a locked room. Of course, he still had his room where he would sit and read and pin up clippings on the wall, but he never spent much time in there. When she had left her job, she hadn't been sure of what she'd do once it was time to look for a new one. Being a doctor was something she knew how to do, and though it had once felt safe for her to enter that role, now that she'd practiced it exclusively for a longer period of time, she wasn't sure she wanted it anymore. There had been too much heartache and sorrow, and though she felt strong in her position, she thought she should find something new. For now, they simply lived together, enjoying every second of it. It'd been her dream for so many years, to live this close to this man and to be able to wake up next to him every morning and go to sleep next to him every night. She felt lucky. They cooked dinner and ate outside on the porch, drank wine and watched the evening sun mirror on the water. On warm summer days, they went walking in the woods, or would lay in the grass, watching the clouds rush by. There wasn't anything they felt like they needed to do, needed to see, and she felt that they deserved this. She swallowed the last few drops of coffee and let herself fall back into the grass. Last night, he'd told her that he wanted to buy a dog, and she loved that idea. They needed something, some noise and movement, and a dog fit them both perfectly. Watching the clouds fly by above the tree crowns, she sighed. Her hair lay spread like a fan around her head. The sea lay completely still and the sun glittered when his strokes disturbed its softness. The air hummed with flies and bees. They hardly ever said I love you to each other, because those had never been words they'd used. She thought about it sometimes, how she felt and how she expressed it. Other people probably used that phrase a lot more often than they did, but she knew that what she felt for him was so much stronger than love. It was a mixture of trust and care and gratitude, a deep respect for everything he stood for. It was love and passion and lust all mixed together. And it was the utter fear of losing him, the need to meet his eyes in the morning, the joy of seeing him smile. It was everything they were together, however complicated that looked to others. To them, it was easy and simple. Closing her eyes and breathing in the lukewarm summer air, she listened to the birds sing their love songs and the bees buzzing by. This was the life she'd never thought she'd have, and now that she was there, so completely consumed by it, she wondered how many more twists and turns her life would have before it was over? Maybe that wasn't very adventurous of her, but then maybe she'd been through enough adventures for one lifetime. Letting her eyelids fall shut, she felt herself doze off. This move had been amazing for both of them, and in a way she thanked the Bureau for that last case. Even though it'd been a rough time for both of them, and even though she cursed herself for not following him out into the darkness, she still felt a kind of gratitude for everything that had happened. It had given them both a kind of closure, a chance to finally be able to move on and create a life, - a real life - together. Her choice not to follow him that very last time still had her twisting and turning in bed at night. If only she'd gone with him, if only she'd been there to help him, maybe he wouldn't have crashed the car. Maybe he wouldn't have gotten so hurt. She'd come in the last second, and she still had nightmares where she didn't make it there at all. She tried not to think about all those times he'd ended up in the hospital, but the fear she'd had for him being taken away was still strong inside of her. Those days she'd spent in Africa, hopelessly trying to help him survive, only to come home and lose him even more. The way she'd felt when she'd discovered that she was pregnant, that he was going to be a father, only to have her whole world breaking apart underneath her feet when he'd been taken away from her. It'd been a true miracle when he'd been returned, but both of them knew that they couldn't stay together for long. He had too many enemies, too many cruel and evil men wanting nothing more than to destroy him. She'd feared for William, the son they never got to have together. She still feared for him. The wind brushed through her hair. For far too many years, she'd fought against the feelings she'd built for him. She'd tried to ignore how she felt, but there had been so many times when she'd thought she'd seen something in his eyes. It was the way his fingers laced with hers. The way they both felt safe and secure and loved by just the touch of a hand. And there had been many moments when she'd felt like taking a step closer to him, to stay a bit longer in the office at night, just to steal a few more glances. It'd taken them seven years. That first time still lingered in her mind. When she'd woken up on his couch alone in the dark and found him sitting in bed reading. He hadn't said anything, but when their eyes had met, there wasn't any need for words. They'd both known it. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, she'd felt his hand gently press against her back, and when his lips gently kissed the side of her neck, her eyelids had fallen close. He'd been more gentle than any man she'd known, and she could still feel how his fingertips slowly traced her skin. There hadn't been any rush that night. And as he'd slowly helped her removed her shirt, she hadn't felt nervous. It was him. Mulder. For so long, she'd thought about how that very first time would be, and for so long, she thought she'd be nervous. But when she watched him see her like that, she'd realized that it was only him. He knew her inside and out, and how could she feel nervous when his eyes sparkled like that? So, she'd kissed him. She'd kissed him and pulled him on top of her, letting her fingers find the hem of his t-shirt and pull it up over his head. When he'd come back down and his skin had rubbed against hers, she'd felt her whole body shiver. This was it, after so many years of pretending that these things hadn't been on her mind, she finally found out how it felt. His breath had been hot against hers, lips never breaking apart, fingers unzipping and pulling down his pants. Tossing the last pieces of clothing aside, they'd both stopped and watched how the other persons eyes wondered over new, unfamiliar skin. And then they'd smiled. It hadn't been uncomfortable, like she'd imagined it would be. It hadn't been scary and new and life-changing. It'd felt more right than anything had ever felt, and when his fingers had touched her, she wondered what had stopped them before. Her skin was freckled in the summer sun and as his cold, wet fingers suddenly touched her cheek, her eyes flew open. "Jesus, Mulder!" Sitting up next to him, she watched him grin widely. "What were you thinking about?" He asked while drying his hair with his towel. She glanced at him. "Why?" Grinning like a fool, he leaned closer to her ear and whispered, "You were smiling, so I'm assuming it was about me." She shook her head and gave him her best "shut up" look, but smiled as he laughed. When she'd turned her gaze back to the water, she said, "I was." Even though she couldn't see his face, she knew that he was looking at her. She felt his eyes on her skin and it was just as thrilling as it'd always been. When he moved closer and wrapped his now dry arm around her back, she let her head rest against his shoulder. "It seems surreal," she said, feeling him brush her hair away from her shoulder before he kissed it. "Hmm?" "All those years we ran through woods and crawled through ventilation shafts and chased after monsters in the dark, did you ever think we'd ever sit like this together?" A long pause followed while he continued to gently kiss her neck and shoulder, she leaned into his touch and suddenly heard him whisper, "Yes." It filled her whole inside with the warmth he always seemed to give her and she sighed through a smile. "Maybe not exactly like this," he said and leaned away to meet her eyes. "But I knew that we'd be together forever. I knew so early on. Before William, before your cancer, before Duane Barry." He stopped and smiled. "You were the only thing solid in my life. You still are." She couldn't help but let a tear run down her cheek. "You are too." He brushed her tears away and leaned to place a kiss on her forehead. Ever since the first day they met, ever since she watched him spray-paint that X on the road and say crazier things she'd ever heard anyone say, she'd known that she would be with this man forever. The trust he'd had for her, the sparkles in his eyes when he'd explained things to her, it'd opened a whole new world to her. Sometimes it had been scary and sometimes she'd feared so many things, but she'd been in it with him and that had made everything easy. Simple. Sitting together there on the grass, she leaned her head against his shoulder again and felt his hand on her back. The sun sprayed the water golden, the leaves rattled in a gentle breeze. If they could, they would sit there forever. They knew that whatever would happen in the future, they would get through it, just as they had for so many years. But, together they hoped that the darkness never would find them. And if it did, it still wouldn't be so bad. -- Fin.