The Lambs: Part 2 (6/21) by Lamia (AKA so kiss me goodbye) Rating: PG-13 (violence, strong language) Category: S Spoilers: Seasons 1-9, Fight the Future Keywords: William; Colonization Summary: Liam van de Kamp's life changes the day two FBI agents kidnap him and his parents. Author's Note: The Lambs is a three-part story (with prologue). Chapter 16 November, 2011 New Mexico Liam's knees buckled as Dr. Scully collapsed onto the bench pulling him with her. Her arms dropped, freeing him. "Doggett?" Dr. Scully's voice was strangled. "Let's get the van de Kamps to their quarters," Mr Skinner said. Before he knew it, Stan was herding Liam away from the doctor. As he was led from the mess hall, Liam looked over his shoulder and saw Dr. Scully on her feet again. Mulder had both hands on her arms. "Let me go, Mulder - I have to see him!" Eric set a swift pace, with Liam's parents following. Lanky Stan was untroubled by their speed but Liam had to half-run just to keep up. He had so many questions he didn't know where to start. "What happened, Stan? What's wrong with Dad? Who's Doggett?" The name tugged at his memory. "Later," Stan said, putting his arm out to halt Liam. They were at in intersection in the corridor; one way went to their quarters, another to the bathroom. "Wait! Where's Sal, Stan?" Even as he thought of her, his panic subsided. Somehow, if anything should happen to her, he had the feeling he'd know. "Sal's fine - she's on guard duty. We'll talk more after you bring back water and some towels from the bathroom." By the time Liam returned, his mother appeared to be recovered from her fright. Mr. Skinner and Eric were taking their leave when Liam slipped through the door, holding the bowl close so he didn't slop water on the floor. "Get some rest," Mr. Skinner said as they exited the room. Stan remained, standing stiffly. Liam's mother picked up a washcloth. She began dabbing the dark flecks on Harry's face. The silence was an invitation or a command for Stan to start explaining - and start explaining fast. Liam was familiar with the strategy. Their old neighbor took the hint. "I never wanted this for your family, Marie." She shook her head. "Why does everyone say that? You, Dana, Mulder. We came here of our own volition, Stan. Ultimately, *we* made the choice." "Even so - I'm sorry." "Okay." Marie straightened and matched his impassive stare with one of her own. "What happened?" Liam caught the quick flick of Stan's look in his direction. He crossed his arms. "I'm not leaving." Marie gave a tight smile. As she dipped the washcloth and wrung it out, she nodded to Stan. "I've been seeing a lot of evidence of the reborn along the borderlands. That's where we headed. We posted scouts and got lucky. We found one on the other side of the hills to the south about five miles from camp. We kept watch on it for more than an hour to make sure it was alone. It was concentrating on a hand-held meter of some sort. We selected our ambush site carefully. My abilities allow me to paralyze the molecules in a reborn - essentially I can hold one still long enough to disable it. We were concentrating on the first one. No one noticed the second one - it must have doubled around behind us somehow. The first we knew of it, Mulder was somewhere, yelling. Harry saw it coming." Liam's father stirred from his stupor. He flexed his fingers slowly and studied them with an expression of petrified alarm. "I had the ax." His voice was strained. "He was running straight at us. I don't know what happened to me, my head was ... ringing. I don't think he really saw me. I could hear Mulder from behind - they both came from opposite ends of nowhere. I think that's who he was aiming for. He was just going to run right over us." He took a deep breath. "I swung. Took his head clean off." The cloth dropped from Marie's hand. "Harry saved lives," Stan said. "I couldn't control two - not in those circumstances." Images jumbled in Liam's head, an ax swinging, a head sailing out across the desert, its dead, cold grin still fixed. He turned on Stan, confused. "Is that why Dr. Scully's upset?" As soon as he asked, he felt stupid. Dr. Scully couldn't have known, wouldn't have cared his father had just murdered a man. Stan regarded Liam with an unreadable expression. "The second reborn was once a close friend. Someone she worked with." "Dr. Scully worked with a supersoldier?" Liam didn't know if he was taking this in properly. "Dad killed him?" His father let out a bark. "They can't be killed." "But ..." Liam remembered the finger again and shuddered. Stan grew grim. "They reassemble, Liam. Each little part - the tip of a toe and lobe of an ear - can crawl and merge again." Liam's father rubbed his eyes. "That's why we had the ax." A terrible truth was forming out of the images that flashed in Liam's mind. Lying in bed, he couldn't chase the memory of the waggling finger, or the images of the imploding supersoldier and the bite of the ax as it took the soldier's head off. -o0o- For what was possibly the first time in his life, Liam slept in. It was lunchtime by the time his mother roused him from bed. "How's Dad?" "Awake." Liam yawned and stretched. Someone had delivered them a late breakfast. Marie made them sit around their tiny table. "Do I have to go to school today?" Liam crunched on cereal, waiting for a response. For once his parents didn't have an immediate answer. "Well -" his mother said. "*You're* not." "It's not like you to want to miss school," his dad said. He was very quiet at the table but he seemed to be making an effort to appear his old self. *It's not like you to chop a man's head off - even if he is a supersoldier.* Liam had caught his dad's long vacant stare at the bottom of his breakfast bowl, his spoon poised at the edge a fraction too long. Liam felt a pang, wishing there was something he could do to make his dad feel better. "Try not to get in the way of the other kids today, Liam," was all his mother had left to say on the topic, and Liam knew he'd been given a free pass for the afternoon. It was just what he wanted. -o0o- He intended to stick to his mother's suggestion, but there was one person who would be anxious to see him. Ellie slipped out of the mess hall at lunch time as soon as she saw Liam wave at her from the swinging doors. They headed to the bathroom in the living quarters area. They were silent until Liam was satisfied they were alone, doing his usual routine of checking under stall doors and pulling aside cubical shower curtains. "They're not saying anything! No one would tell me where you were today." Ellie was wild and indignant. "I expected them to say something this morning, but no one's said anything." Liam wondered if he should tell her what he suspected. "Have you seen Dr. Scully this morning?" "No. Why?" "They captured two supersoldiers last night. One of them used to be a friend of Dr. Scully's." "No way." "Yeah. Stan told us. I recognized the name though. I think I've heard Mulder and Dr. Scully mention it before." Doggett. He had heard it a few times, usually when Dr Scully and Skinner were talking, and it was usually never just Doggett; it was always Doggett and someone else. They were the friends Dr. Scully had been expecting for weeks. The friends who had never shown up. Liam remembered the conversation Mulder and Gibson had been having just before Stan had been brought in. Mulder was supposed to be telling Dr. Scully about ... Monica? It wasn't the only name he'd heard; there was also Mulder's mysterious contact - Liam was pretty certain that's who Esther was. Ellie demanded an explanation and he told her about the names. "Monica and Esther?" She pursed her mouth. "Girls' names. If Monica used to work with Scully, who's Esther?" "Esther could be a code name." "Whatever her name is, Esther must be the one who told Mulder and Scully to rescue you." That thought hadn't occurred to Liam and he said as much. "Unless Mulder's getting messages from more than one person, I guess that's true." Ellie nibbled on her thumbnail. "Wonder how she knows about your family?" "No idea," Liam replied. "I never knew an Esther." "You should ask Mulder about it. I think you have a right to know." She laughed. "What's the worst he could do to you? Tell you to stop being so nosy?" Liam sometimes wished *Ellie* was not so nosy. Whether it was comments and questions about his adoption or her dogged investigation to prove Sal had a psychic connection to him, Ellie had a way of asking personal questions that she expected Liam to answer willingly. He wasn't sure he liked it, but he didn't want her to know how much it unsettled him. Then again, maybe this Esther did know something about his family? His family. *Was* there something to know about his family? He had been resisting the thought, but Ellie had been raising it for weeks. Yet when he attempted to confront it, he discovered he was reluctant to delve deeper. Ellie had no hesitations leaping from one theory to another. He hoped she'd be distracted by his next comment. "I think I might be able to talk to Stan. He wasn't so - he talked with Mom last night. He said he'd talk to me later." Her eyes went wide. "He's bound to have all the answers, Liam! About everything! About your dad. About Sal. I bet he knows all sorts of things!" They talked a bit longer before Ellie looked at her watch and yelped. "I'm late. Mrs Fawbert's way stricter than your mom. You'd better tell me everything tonight," she said from the door. -o0o- Liam obeyed his mother and waited until he knew school was back in session before heading to the mess hall again. On a hunch, he went, hoping to cross paths with the students. "Whoa! Cutting class, are we?" Toby said with a grin when Liam sauntered past their table. "Hi guys," he said. "Have you seen Jeremiah Smith?" The name was strange in his mouth but he wasn't aiming for subtlety. If he acted like it was the most natural thing in the world for him to be looking for an alien, he was less likely to draw attention to his interest. His theory worked. He got what he wanted and none of them queried him. "I think he was with Praise this morning," Alan said. "He was over by Praise's section of the camp, anyway." The students hadn't warmed to Gibson - but others had. Liam liked Eric Hosteen, and valued his judgment, but found his bleak expressions off-putting. It was hard to feel you could have a joke with Eric. He regularly made time to play chess with Gibson. And despite saving his life, Liam hadn't had much to do with Rudi van der Veldt. Rudi kept a wall about himself and seemed to enjoy the company of only a few. He wasn't mean the way Gibson could be, but he wasn't friendly like the students. Maybe it made sense that he would hang out with Gibson. Liam knew one thing for certain about Rudi: he had a passionate hatred of the Grays. He couldn't be blamed for that. Liam waited until the students were gone before he made his way to one of the empty hangars topside. The sky was glarey with a high ceiling of haze. The heat of summer lingered, but there were signs the seasons were shifting. The few people outside showed little interest in him. He ducked down a narrow path between buildings. The hangar closest to Gibson's cabin was open like most of the hangars around the old base. It was empty, but there were signs it had been used recently - including a crumpled bag of dog biscuits. Sal was on guard duty. Liam had a bad feeling he knew *what* Sal was guarding. The coast was clear when he put his head around the corner. "Going somewhere, Liam?" He jumped when a hand came down on his shoulder. "Stan," he wheezed as his old neighbor was staring down at him. "I -" "I know what you're looking for. I don't think your mothers would want you out here," Stan said flatly. Liam couldn't argue with him. He knew Stan was right. Now to find out if he had been right. "You chopped them up, didn't you? Dr. Scully said the finger didn't react to the magnetite because it was too small. That's how you're holding them prisoner. They're still alive but you chopped them up." He wanted to barf for even suggesting it. "Don't go looking, Liam," Stan said. "No one wants you to see it. We know you're an intelligent boy - that's just the way your mother wants you to stay - for the time being." "What do you know? You're just an alien. You're not even" - Liam gulped - "you're not even human." Stan twisted around, glancing outside before nodding toward some drums lined against a wall. Liam hoisted himself up on one. He thought he'd try his mother's trick. It wasn't like he'd done anything wrong. He hadn't gone out of bounds; there were no curfews this afternoon. He swung his heels back and forth into the drum, enjoying the dull thud it made. "You're angry," Stan said. "I'm going to answer some of your questions, Liam, but not all of them. I will not lie." "You're just like everybody else then," Liam replied, taking another potshot at the side of the drum. "Keeping bits out is as good as lying." Stan didn't take the bait; he leaned back against another drum and waited. All he needed was a strand of grass to chew on to complete a picture Liam had seen a hundred times before. It hurt. "Who are you?" he asked. "Your people call me a shapeshifter. Some of my kind are known to Mulder and Scully as bounty hunters - dispatched to police our own kind and carry out the orders of those who control us. Some of us have rebelled - working against the beings who created and enslaved us. Some of us continue to do the bidding of our creators because that is all they know." "I know all that. I was listening" - Stan's brow went up - "when you told everyone. I want to know who you are *really*." "I am someone who wants what you have: freedom." Liam thought about it. "Don't you kind of have that already? I mean, if you really wanted to, you could just disappear somewhere in the world and the Grays would just forget about you." "For a while, Liam, that would be true. But the little Gods have long memories and they know what is theirs. Sooner or later, they'll come for me, regardless of what I do or do not do." What would it be like to live like that? He'd had a small taste when the supersoldiers had chased them over the mountain. "Is it like you're always looking over your shoulder?" He had broken a window in a farm shed once. He should have owned up, but he had been so ashamed he couldn't bring himself to tell his parents. The longer he waited for the window to be discovered, the more convinced he'd become that trouble would be coming his way. Until one night he'd yelped when his mother turned out his light and his confession just poured out. But Stan wasn't looking over his shoulder in guilt - and there were other things Liam wanted him to explain. "How come you lived next door to us?" "Coincidence is a very strange thing. I say in all honesty, Liam, I had no idea the reborn wanted your father. To me your parents were useful. They were kind and offered me a way into a close-knit community that other communities might not have afforded a stranger so easily. I'll admit, rural life wasn't something I was all that used to - most of my time has been spent in office blocks and single-room apartment dwellings. My ability with animal minds smoothed over any of my deficiencies in farming knowledge." "Yeah. But it was all just an act, wasn't it? You're not really Stan - I mean you don't even talk the same way. Not quite." It was true. Liam remembered a man who had been ... warmer; his speech even a little humorous and knowing. Stan had never been much of a talker, but that hadn't mattered. The man who sat next to Liam today was serious and stiff; everything he said sounded dire and he only had one expression. "It was an effort to fit in. It was an effort to be that person." "Gee, I'm sorry." "You used to have much better manners - I said it was an effort. I did not say I did not want to make the effort. I tried very hard to fit into your world. You take so much about yourselves for granted. You smile and you laugh - it comes naturally for you. I can change my form - but it still takes a lot of effort to make myself look authentic. My first laughs were snarls, my first smiles were grimaces. Then I had to learn when and how to use these expressions and tones of voice. Working my new tongue around these new word shapes was easy - learning how to make the words sound *right* - that was troublesome." Liam studied Stan. Could it *really* have been all that difficult? "You always seemed normal to me. Back then you did, anyway." Liam watched curiously as the muscles round Stan's mouth twitched and a smile emerged from the contortion. "What a compliment," the man said. "I'm out of practice around humans, Liam. It doesn't take long to lose it." "But isn't this you now?" Liam said. "You've been human for so long now, doesn't it come naturally?" "I've spent so long blending in - assimilating - but it never comes easily. Even a month, two in my own company and whatever ease I've had is gone." It was weird listening to Stan; it was like his personality had been vacuum sucked out. Liam started to feel bad for him. "We know you're alien. Why not just be who you are? Then you wouldn't have to worry about fitting in." "It could never be as easy as that, Liam." "Why? Is it because you look really strange? Are you really scary?" Stan stood up straight. "This is how I choose to look, Liam. And because this is how I choose to look there are certain expectations that go with this choice. It's not enough just to look human - it is upsetting and confusing for the other folk here if I do not try to be like them." "That's stupid." "But human." "Okay. So you want to be human. Are you Jeremiah Smith-human or Stan-human?" "Both names are a fiction. Both names are real. I meant what I said to your mother last night: I'm sorry you are involved in this. The last ten years might have been the most difficult in my life - they were also the most rewarding." Although the inflections might have been strange, it was a relief to hear Stan's familiar voice and know his friend was still in there. Liam hadn't wanted to admit it to himself but Stan ignoring him had stung. "Why didn't you talk to me? You just kept walking past me." "I had to be Jeremiah Smith, the alien healer. That's how they have accepted me. Stan the farmer belongs back in Wyoming. He can do nothing for these people." Liam scrunched his face in confusion. *He can be my friend.* Stan continued. "There's a lot of fear in this camp. These people have a right to be afraid. And they are sensible to be apprehensive of any stranger turning up under unusual circumstances. Agent Scully has every reason to both fear and welcome me. I didn't want to give them any reason to feel alarm or concern during a stressful time. Do you understand?" No, he didn't. Not really. On the one hand, Stan was suggesting he had to act human it fit in - but they still expected him to be alien too? "Also, I didn't want to draw any unwanted attention to you." Liam tipped his head to one side. "D'you think people would think it was weird if we were really friendly with you? People might start looking at us like we were weird too?" "Something like that." Stan sighed. "I didn't want to draw any negative attention to you, especially since you are a child." Liam twitched. "Humans become irrational when the safety of a child is at stake." Liam scanned the empty hangar. His eyes fell on the bowl of water and flattened sack at the door. Ellie would never forgive him if he didn't take the opportunity. "Stan, can you really talk to animals?" "Neat trick, huh?" For a moment, Liam felt as though the old Stan was here with him. "I can tell what they're thinking, yes. I can create suggestions in their minds." "So Sal *did* you lead here?" "I wouldn't say she was psychic, but she's always been a smart and loyal dog, Liam. I think you've always known that. You yourself have always had an affinity for animals, wouldn't you say?" "Maybe," Liam said slowly, "but it's not like I hear their thoughts or anything - and it's not like Sal's psychic." He searched for the right way to explain himself. "It's just, see, maybe you can talk to animals and all, but if Sal's not psychic, how could she find this place? How could she know exactly where we were?" "Good question," Stan said. "Perhaps a stronger force was guiding Sal?" "Like God? Do aliens believe in God?" "Our beliefs are not incompatible." "So you think God showed Sal where to go?" "I think something or someone drew Sal here. I knew this was where she felt she needed to be. I could only guess why." This explanation was no more satisfying than any others he and Ellie had hypothesized, but Stan had said he would tell the truth and he seemed sincere. "I s'pose it's possible." Liam grinned. "Anyway, it's not the weirdest way anyone ever got here! I mean, it's pretty cool - but Rudi van der Veldt's story has it beat I reckon." "Oh?" "Yeah. He blew up a spaceship in Africa and woke up expecting to be dead. Only he wasn't. He had a strange object in his hand and it forced him to travel all the way around the world to this camp. Rudi thinks it healed him and that's why he survived the ship blowing up and falling out of the sky." Stan whistled, again sounding like his old self. "That *is* some story." "Didn't you know?" Liam couldn't contain his surprise. "That's what I meant when I said people here might not be so trusting. I'm not surprised they'd want to keep that a secret." "That's stupid. I'll bet you could probably tell them something about the object. Couldn't you?" The equation was obvious: the object was (probably) alien; Stan was alien; Stan was their best way of finding out about it. "Perhaps I could." Stan became speculative. The more time they spent talking, the more old Stan seemed to be emerging. "Can you describe it to me? Did you touch this object?" "No, I didn't touch it. I saw it once or twice. Dr Scully looks after it. She lets the others study it during the day - or she used to - I think she locks it up every night in her laboratory." "Does she use it? You said it healed Rudi - has it been used to heal anyone else?" Stan asked good questions - ones Liam wished he'd asked himself. "I don't know. Maybe. She never used it to heal me ..." Stan drew back. "Have you been sick recently?" "Nah, not really. I've had some headaches though. Say - maybe if I get another one *you* can heal it!" Stan didn't give any sign of what he thought of that idea. Instead he said, "So, you never held it? You don't know how heavy it was. Did you see it close up?" "Not really. It kind of looked like a flat piece of pottery. It didn't look any bigger than a book from what I did see." Just thinking about the object brought on the echo of a thump in his head. "You *can* heal things too, can't you? Can you heal anyone? Anyone except supersoldiers?" "*Almost* everyone," Stan said. Liam caught the emphasis in Stan's voice because it was at odds with the flat, matter-of-fact tone he had been using. "Almost everyone?" "There was one occasion ... I tried to cure someone I thought was sick." "What happened?" "Nothing. He survived. Now I'm not even sure he was sick. I don't know what to think." Liam pulled his legs up to sit cross-legged. "Could the object be used to cure him? Can it do more than you?" "Actually, I don't know, Liam. If it's what I think it is, its healing properties may be more a side effect. It may be capable of far more than just curing injuries or illnesses." "But how does it work? How do you do it?" Liam asked. "I don't know about this artifact. The little Gods inherited much of their knowledge and technology - and lost twice as much more. The artifact, I suspect, is very, very old. As for me, I have the ability to exert a controlled, precise influence over particles." "How?" "It's not a supernatural talent, if that's what you're thinking. Agent Scully might be able to explain it one day - if she's given the opportunity. Your physicists are making strides in their understanding of quantum mechanics." "Can all shapeshifters do it?" "Not to the same degree. It requires considerable concentration. Most of my brothers don't have the patience or inclination to learn the skill." "Do you tell the particles what to do?" Liam had to admire Stan's patience. If Liam's badgering bothered him, he wasn't showing it. "It's not the same as communicating with an animal - particles have no conscious, chemical thought - but perhaps that's a good way to describe it: I tell particles what to do. There are limitations. I can restore cells ... but I can't make them into something new or contrary to the laws of the universe. I can cure the flu. I can't grow you a bionic limb - at least, I've never tried." A gust of wind hit the side of the hangar with a bang. Stan moved closer to the entrance, suddenly on alert. Satisfied it was just the wind, he returned. "Liam, I think it would be best if the others didn't know that I knew about this object. I won't mention it - you weren't to know they wanted to keep it secret." The secrets were piling up like dirty laundry, annoying Liam. "Why do people do that? Keep secrets? Everything would be so much easier if everyone was just honest." "Who's keeping secrets?" Stan asked with interest. "Everyone's got something to hide from everyone else! I know Mulder's not telling Dr. Scully stuff. Gibson knows what it is - but then I guess Gibson knows everyone's secrets. He didn't want us to know he was a mind-reader. Major Drummond didn't want us kids knowing about the supersoldier plan. You! If that wasn't a secret, I don't know what is!" He ran out of puff or righteous indignation or both. Especially when he thought about his own secrets: eavesdropping, the hole in the desert, sneaking off to find the supersoldiers. "Everything would be so much easier if we could all just be honest with each other." "You don't think people might have good reasons for keeping secrets? Say I'd told your mom and dad the truth a decade ago?" Liam knew Stan was right so he didn't argue the point. "Anyway," Stan said. "I don't think this one will hurt, Liam. They obviously don't want me knowing about the object that brought Rudi here and it might worry them if they knew I knew. Although I am curious about it." "Why?" "Well, I think I know what it is - how it is used. Perhaps if I knew for sure it was what I think it is, then I could tell everyone how they could use it. But I wouldn't want to give them false hope." "What do you think it does?" "Dr. Scully and the other scientists are looking for a vaccine. This might be something better - a cure!" "How can we find out?" "That's the other thing the adults might not like." "What?" "To find out if it worked, we'd have to put one of the reborn back together again."