Monster Maybe
by Singing Violin (Pearl on Ephemeral/Gossamer)

Email: perlner@mit.edu
Rating: PG/K+
Category: VRH
Spoilers: Mulder and Scully Meet the Were-Monster

Summary: Post-episode for "Mulder and Scully Meet the Were-Monster."
(Spoilers!) Mulder and Scully have a little conversation about what
Guy told Mulder, and Scully's reaction isn't what Mulder expected.

Disclaimer: The X-Files characters and universe are not mine.
Archiving: Anywhere, just let me know.


"What are you not telling me, Mulder?" Scully asked curiously, eyeing
her partner suspiciously.

"Um," he replied, "I'm not sure you want to know."

"Just tell me!" she ordered, throwing up her arms in frustration.

He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Just promise me you won't get
upset."

She tilted her head slightly and sighed. "What is it?"

He took a deep breath, dropping his arms to his sides. "Guy had
a...version of his encounter with you in the store...in which you,
er, made a pass at him, saying you wanted to use your phone to
'take a picture of his junk' and then ended up, uh, 'doing the
naked pretzel' with him in the supply closet. Said he was
surprised to learn he was great 'in the sack.'"

Mulder then curled himself slightly away and squeezed his eyes shut,
as if bracing against an anticipated physical attack. When nothing
happened, he opened one eye and looked sideways at his partner,
who appeared more contemplative than anything else.

He stood up straight again and opened his other eye. "Why aren't you
laughing, or angry?" he asked, confused. "Guy admitted he made it up,
and anyway, I knew already you wouldn't..."

She raised her eyebrows. "Actually..."

"Scully?" he asked, eyeing her with concern. "Seriously?!"

"Well," she replied thoughtfully, "from a purely scientific
standpoint, knowing what he was, I'd probably want to learn
as much as possible about him before he went back into
hibernation."

"By having sex with him?" Mulder questioned.

"Whatever it took," she responded. "It's not like he was dangerous.
Didn't you say he was an insectivore?"

"Yes, but Scully, he wasn't even human!" With that, it was Mulder's
turn to throw his hands up in the air.

Scully crossed her arms in front of her chest. "He was a person,
Mulder, at least some of the time. Don't be racist. It's not like he
couldn't have consented. And," she continued after a pause during
which she observed Mulder's gaping mouth, "he was cute."

"I can't believe you're even thinking about this!" Mulder told her,
flailing his arms again.

She sighed. "Maybe he really would have been good in the sack.
Come to think of it, I am curious what he had in the way of 'junk.'"

Mulder reached out and gently rubbed her arm. "Now who's
bat-crap crazy? Anyway, as he's gone into hibernation, I guess
we'll never know."

Scully eyed him meaningfully, then winked. "Remember, Mulder,
I'm immortal. I might just look him up in ten thousand years."