restless
by susan

E-mail: touchstone98@tx.rr.com
Classification: a moment-in-time prose thingie
Spoiler: I Want to Believe
Archive: No archive without permission.
Disclaimer: On paper, these characters aren't mine.
In my head, they are.

Author's notes at the end.

Summary: you're not fine, she thinks 
         as she kisses the top of his head
         squeezes his arm
         then goes back inside


~~~~

the first time she finds him
it's 1:00 in the morning and
he's standing by the window

the light from the aquarium
casting shadows upon his face
and making his beard even darker

he tells her that he's still 
too full from dinner to sleep

she doesn't believe him

the second time she finds him
it's nearly dawn

he's sitting outside on the porch
his body slouched in the chair
a blanket wrapped around his shoulders

are you okay, she asks

i'm fine, he quietly replies
his eyes not meeting hers

you're not fine, she thinks 
as she kisses the top of his head
squeezes his arm
then goes back inside

the third time
it isn't what he says
but what she sees

she's drying the dishes
looking out the kitchen window
and he's raking the leaves

and then he isn't

the rake is on the ground
and he's leaning on the oak tree
his head resting against the bark
his eyes closed

he's like that for what seems like hours
but is only seconds
then puffs out his cheeks and exhales
his breath a warm white cloud 
filling the crisp autumn air

it won't always be like this, mulder
she whispers that night 
kissing the shell of his ear
the curve of his neck

i know, he says
as he lets out a sigh
threads his fingers through hers
but i'm okay with it, he adds

no, you're not
you need more than this, she wants to say
you need to be out there
to be challenged and amazed
by the impossible

but she says nothing
wrapping herself around him instead

are you sure you're okay, she asks

i'm sure, he replies
twisting around in her arms to face her 

a change is coming, scully
for both of us, he adds
his eyes brighter in the dark
than they've been in the light
as he softly brushes his thumb across her cheek

what kind of change, she asks
tracing the bristles of his beard
with her fingertip

i don't know, but i can feel it, he says
as he leans forward
touches his lips to hers

feeling the heat in his kiss
the electricity surging through his body
as he presses it against hers

she believes him


~end~


*With this piece, I tried to capture Mulder's 
restlessness about not being able to leave their 
house and do what he loves to do. The line "a 
change is coming, scully, for both of us" comes 
from the fact that it's set in the time period 
right before the events of the movie occurred. 
Now before you tell me that Mulder seemed okay 
with playing the "house-husband" role, I have 
to say that I agree with that. However, I also 
think that Mulder will always be Mulder, and 
he'll always have a natural inclination to 
want to *dig deeper* and explore any and all 
possiblities out there, especially when given 
the opportunity to.

Thanks so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed 
it.:)

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