Title: The Hole Truth
Author: Polly - firstname.lastname@example.org
Category: Scully POV, MSR, Humor
Spoilers: Takes place after the events of "Millennium" (Season 7)
Disclaimer: "The X-Files" and its characters belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and FOX. No copyright infringement is intended.
Archive: Be my guest.
Feedback: Welcome and always greatly appreciated.
Summary: The hole truth and nothing but the truth.
* * *  * * * *
I confess. I love to look at him while he sleeps.
Correction. I love to look at his body while he sleeps.
Actually, I love to look at Mulder's body anytime; at work or at play, on the basketball court or in the swimming pool, in Armani or Levis or Fruit of the Loom. And let's not forget that little red Speedo.
But the best time is when he's sleeping, because now that I'm sleeping beside him, on a fairly regular basis, I'm able to explore his body up close and personal. I want to become acquainted with every freckle, birthmark, and dimple. I already know how he got most of his scars; some I'm even responsible for. But he has others, and I want to know how he earned each one.
I know so much about my partner and friend, but now he's my *lover* -- uncharted territory. I want to ... wait a minute. What is that?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"See something you like?"
I lurched backward and nearly tumbled off the bed.
"Jesus, Mulder! You startled me!" I put my hand against my chest and took deep breaths until my heart stopped racing. "What did you say?"
"Good morning, Sunshine."
He kissed me and started my heart racing again.
"I asked you if you saw something you liked," he said. "You were staring at me."
"I was not." I brushed my hair out of my eyes. "Good morning, Mulder. Did you sleep well?"
"Never better," he replied. "If I'd known you were the cure for my insomnia, I would have tried to get you in bed years ago. So why were you staring?"
"Mulder, I can't believe I never noticed this before." I touched his left earlobe to verify proof of my discovery. "You have a pierced ear."
"If you think that's impressive, I have one exactly like it on the other side."
I grabbed his chin and turned his head toward me. "I'll be darned."
"Scully, Scully, Scully," he said as I let go of his chin. "More than six years together and how many times have I been conked on the head? How many bullets have bounced off my noggin? How many people have poked around in my brain? All those occasions to examine holes in my head and you never noticed the holes in my ears." He shook his head slowly. "And you call yourself a trained investigator."
I ignored his sarcasm and studied his earlobe closely. "Well, in my own defense, Mulder, in most of those instances I didn't have time to perform an aural inspection as I was a little preoccupied with trying to keep you alive."
"I forgive you." He pushed back the covers but I grabbed his arm.
"Hold it. Where do you think you're going?" I asked.
He pointed toward the bathroom. "Nature calls. And then I thought I'd go make coffee and fix us some breakfast. Bagels or wheat toast?"
"You're not going anywhere, Mulder" I said. "Not until you tell me how and why you got your ears pierced."He shrugged. "Youthful indiscretion, Scully. It's as simple as that."
"Well, I want to hear the story anyway. And you're not getting out of this bed until I do."
"Stories. Plural," he said. "My ears were not pierced at the same time.
"I pulled the covers back over us. "Okay, that does it. Let's hear it ... them. The stories. What do you mean your ears weren't pierced at the same time?
"With a defeated sigh, he sat up, leaned against the headboard, and tugged on his left ear. "Well, I got this one pierced my first month at Oxford."
"Was it some sort of hazing ritual?" I asked.
"More like a mating ritual," he answered. "Do you remember Phoebe Green?"
I ignored his you-asked-for-this smirk. "Yes, I seem to recall meeting someone by that name a few years ago," I replied. "I believe you extended her a professional courtesy."
He laughed. "Phoebe was my roommate's cousin. I was smitten with her, but she hadn't shown any real interest in me. Then one night a group of us were at a local pub. The beer was flowing and Phoebe told me that I looked exactly like the lead singer of some band I can't remember the name of, except that he had a pierced ear, and she told me that if *I* had a pierced ear, she would find me positively irresistible. And since my primary objective at that time in my life was to get laid ..."
"You went out and got your ear pierced."
"Not exactly," he said. "She did it that night."
"You let Phoebe pierce your ear?"
"I did," he nodded. "We went back to her place, had a few more drinks, she got an ice cube, a needle, and a piece of thread and the deed was done. And shortly thereafter, the other deed was done."
"Didn't it hurt?" I asked. "The ear piercing, I mean?"
"Hurt? Are you kidding?" He made his brave Mulder face. "It hurt like hell. I remember screaming. Not a girly-scream, mind you, but an all-out blood curdling, wake-the-dead kind of scream. I nearly passed out. But as noted, I did recover and achieve my primary objective. And Phoebe gave me an emerald stud to wear. She said it brought out the green in my eyes."
I shook my head. "Well, I suppose the pain was worth it since you got what you wanted."
"I did," he sighed. "But I also got an infection -- from the ear, before you imply otherwise. And I ended up in the infirmary for a week."
I chuckled sadistically. "The things we do for love. And what about the other ear? I suppose you're going to tell me that one was pierced by Diana Fowley."
He smiled. "No, my right ear was pierced by Diedre Dunwiddle."
"You're making that up."
"No, really, Diedre Dunwiddle. My final year at Oxford. She was my lab partner. She convinced me that the reason ladies weren't beating a path to my door was because women thought a man with one earring was gay. So she pierced the other one. The same way Phoebe did."
"Why on earth would you let someone put you through all that pain again?"
He smiled broadly.
"Oh, I see."
"But I did learn from experience," he said. "That time I drank more, screamed less, and only spent two days in the infirmary."
"What, no jewelry?" I asked."A pair of tiny gold hoops. Diedre said they made me look sexy."
"Well, I think your friend Diedre misled you, Mulder," I said. "I believe *two* pierced ears is often considered a signal that the guy is gay."
"I guess that explains why the only person who asked me to the senior mixer was named Bruce.
"I giggled. "I don't suppose you still have these earrings? Phoebe's emerald and Diedre's hoops?"
"Nope. Left behind in England. I left *all* my youthful indiscretions in England."
"I find that nearly impossible to believe," I said. "How about pictures? Any photos of you wearing your sexual spoils?"
He thought for a moment. "Any pictures I had from my Oxford days are at my mom's house. But I wore my hair pretty long back then, over my ears. Made the earrings tough to see."
"Sounds to me like maybe you had a few regrets about the price you paid for one night ... sorry, *two* nights of passion."
"Maybe," he said. "When I got back to the States I was pretty self-conscious about them, especially when I had to cut my hair short for the Academy. The first few weeks I even covered the holes with make-up. But one day I forgot and no one noticed them, so that was the end of that. I kept hoping the holes would close up, but they never did."
"Sometimes they do," I said. "I have a friend who's had her ears pierced for twenty-five years, but if she doesn't wear earrings for one day, the holes begin to close. I guess you're stuck with a permanent reminder that it's dangerous to fall for girls who like to play with sharp instruments."
He leaned over and kissed me. "And yet, I'm a slow learner. I'm still falling."
I smiled. "In that case, I think it's only fair that I get a chance to pierce something too." I flicked his left nipple with my fingernail. "How about this? I think I have a needle in my purse."
He winced. "Ouch. Don't say that. Even in jest."
"Well, those girls got a chance to put their mark on you. What about me? Don't I mean as much to you as Phoebe and Diedre?"
He put his arms around me and pulled me close beside him. "Maybe I could get a tattoo instead," he said, his fingers stroking the small of my back. "An ouroboros like yours. Nothing says 'I love you' like matching tattoos."
"No, I don't think so," I replied. "And anyway, I've been considering having mine removed."
"Don't do that."
His response surprised me. "Why?" I asked. "Especially when you know all the sordid details of how it got there?"
"That's why I want you to keep it," he said. "Every time I look at it, it reminds me of how close I came to losing you, in more ways than one. It reminds me that I should never let that happen again. You keep it."
I squeezed his arm and blinked away a tear. "All right. But I don't think a tattoo is right for you. Are you sure there's nothing else that you'd like to have pierced?"
"Pretty positive," he answered. "But if I should get the urge to have a permanent reminder of my middle-aged indiscretions, you'll be the first to know."
"I still feel cheated somehow," I pouted. "But I know how you could make it up to me."
"Suppose *I* bought you a pair of earrings. Would you model them for me?"
"Hmm. Let me think. Would I get laid?"
"I guarantee it.""Then I guess we can't have lunch together today." He pushed back the comforter and climbed out of bed.
"Because you have some shopping to do."
He kissed the tip of my nose and headed toward the bathroom.
"Mulder, are you really telling me the truth about how you got your ears pierced?"
He paused in the bathroom doorway and raised his left hand. "The hole truth, Scully. The h-o-l-e truth and nothing but the truth."
I laughed. "Then I guess I *do* have some shopping to do."
"Indeed you do," he said. "Make sure they're tasteful, elegant, and very, very expensive. 'Cause I don't come cheap. No pun intended."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Notes: During a recent viewing of an X-File episode on TV, David Duchovny's holy earlobe was quite noticeable during an extreme Mulder close-up. Since everything Duchovny's is Mulder's (and vice versa), I wondered if Scully ever noticed those little holes in her partner's ears. And that's what prompted this silly little effort. Thanks for reading the h-o-l-e thing!