Presenting, with apologies to the Master (Paula, that is),
Theater of the Mind Redux ~ The Pilot

In appreciation of Paula's stupendous effort to provide her thoughts on the Pilot, which was unceremoniously wiped off the face of this board (and this planet, apparently) before anyone but little old Polly could read it, here is Polly's lame attempt to recreate the moment. (However, please bear in mind that the revival is never as good as the original!) Some of these thoughts are paraphrased from Paula (those I could remember), and the rest are Polly's.

1. Where's the theme music?

2. Dead girl in the forest. She's got the marks.

3. Live girl in the Hoover - she's got a purse AND briefcase.

4. Who is that guy smoking the cigarette?

5. Spooky? Yeah, I've heard of him. You want me to debunk what?

6. I want to believe - oh brother.

7. Hoo boy. Who's this guy with the glasses?

8. Oh no, don't take the glasses off!

9. Dimming the lights. He works fast. Oh, a slide show.

10. Do you believe in the existence of extra-terrestrials?

11. Logically, I'd have to say . . . shut up and kiss me.

12. Frequent flier miles get you two seats? Which airline?

13. Welcome to Oregon! Looks just like Vancouver.

14. Sunflower seeds - great tongue action (get minds out of gutter).

15. Who's fiddling with the radio?

16. Graffiti artist Mulder leaves a gift on the highway.

17. Stop! Last chance to ditch the blue suitcase!

18. Look out! The rope is going to break!

19. This gives rolling over in your grave a whole new dimension!

20. Quit flashing that light in her eyes, Mulder. She's packin' a scalpel. (A trigger happy scalpel as we learn in Season 7!)

21. I'm not crazy, Scully.

22. Steven Spielberg at the door. BIG smile! (She's got it bad)

23. Scully, put the laptop away and go running with the boy!

24. I'm no scientist, but looks like Ray's got a tootsie roll up his nose.

25. Let's take a nice trip to the forest.

26. Can a County sheriff order federal agents away from a crime scene?

27. Guess he can!

28. Look Mulder, I stuck my fingers in this stuff I found in the forest. I'd advise against doing that in the future, however.

29. So much can happen in nine minutes.

30. It must rain 400 inches a day here in Oregon.

31. A thunderstorm. Good time to work on my computer or take a shower.

32. Scully in her bra and panties and the tongues of 10,000 male viewers drop to the floor.

33. Candlelit Mulder. Tongues of female viewers do the same.

34. Khaki pants. Happily they don't make an appearance again until Pine Bluff Variant.

35. Woman in his bed and he talks about his sister. (Awww!)

36. Important dialogue with down-the-road implications: I'm not a part of any agenda. You've got to trust me. Nothing else matters to me.

37. Darn that telephone!

38. Peggy O'Dell? Running? On foot? (Good thing they put the "I" in FBI).

39. Oh no, the hotel's on fire. Bet we forgot to blow out those candles.

40. Theresa can't act but has great nosebleed.

41. Oh, sheriff is Billy's dad.

42. Scully, would you like to go out with me tonight? How 'bout some graverobbing?

43. Yes, I love to take long walks in the rain, in cemeteries. It always makes me giggly!

44. She's not looking for anything, she just has a foot fetish.

45. Oh that errant strand of hair on that forehead. How many times will Scully brush that back in fanfics to come?

46. Sheriff Miles, don't hit Agent Scully! She carries a scalpel!

47. Bright lights in the forest. Of course, Scully is just a little late for the par-tay.

48. The marks are gone!!! How about the mosquito bites? This warrants more checking.

49. Ooh, can you feel the smoldering between that two-way mirror? Feels like they just had sex (or checked for mosquito bites).

50. No, Scully, don't give them the vial! They're the bad guys!

51. Who could be calling me at this hour? "It's me."

52. Okay, don't say goodbye, just hang up.

53. Nice homage to Raiders of the Lost Ark.

54. Who is that cigarette smoking guy, anyway?

That's it. Nighty-nite! See ya'll for Squeeze tomorrow (or later today as the case may be!)

Polly (who is no Paula!)