Theatre of the Mind ~ Roland

Okay, you go to one stinkin' meeting and things fall apart while you're gone. But I'm still trying to maintain my good old Pollyanna facade. I haven't had time to read everything posted here tonight, but so far all I see is the one article from Entertainment Weekly. Until I see some kind of confirmation (and maybe there is some but right now I'm in the dark so let's keep it that way), I'm thinking that (a) there's no truth to this tidbit whatsoever; (b) there's some truth to it but for reasons best not divulged we don't know the whole story; or (c) that if GA did make this decision, there is some logical reason behind it and she's entitled to do what she has to do. Check back with me tomorrow. My name might not be Polly anymore.

That said, I guess you're looking for a TOTM to bring this Board out of its doldrums and provide at least a little chuckle amidst the tears. Well, you certainly lucked out with tonight's CTP episode, Roland. This one is really a knee-slapping, laugh-a-minute hour of entertainment! I'm apologizing for this one up front, folks, and hope I'll be able to keep my mind on the task at hand and not worry about some as yet non-existent Season 9. As you read, just bear in mind my motto: "Expect nothing, and you shall not be disappointed."

1. Well, we're starting off on a good "note." With the exception of Conduit, this is my favorite Mark Snow Score.

2. People who are mean to mentally challenged persons usually get theirs in the end.

3. You know, there are worse ways to go, but I can't think of a more undignified one, with the possible exception of autoerotic asphyxiation, than getting sucked into a big giant fan. (See CBFR.)

4. Didn't you just love the scientist flying past the window? Reminded me of the Wizard of Oz.

5. Mulder asks Scully a question about her personal life . . . perhaps to remind us that she might be having one.

6. "The dog bit the drummer"? What kind of a wedding was Scully invited to anyway?

7. And maybe she caught the bouquet. Maybe she also caught a bad case of amnesia and that's why she signed on for another season. Oh, oh. Back to CTP, back to CTP!

8. People who are mean to FBI agents usually get theirs in the end too.

9. Mulder seems to have been studying up on handwriting analysis. Perhaps Agent Henderson found out if 10 minutes was enough. (See Young at Heart.)

10. Mulder is on my mind tonight so, TWC1: Pretty early in this episode. WhiteBoard!Mulder - woo hoo!

11. "Roland isn't exactly a rocket scientist." Well, the rocket scientists in this episode aren't exactly doing too well either.

12. Roland's got it bad for Tracy and knows how to show it. Mulder should takes notes. Though I don't know what for if this whole signing thing is really true cause that would mean . . . stop, stop! Back to CTP!

13. Roland counts the stars on Scully's blouse, and Scully looks down at her chest like she's surprised she has one. Note to Scully: you ain't seen nothin' yet. (See One Breath.)

14. Mulder has been looking at Scully's chest the whole time, but he wasn't counting stars. Note to Mulder: You ain't seen nothin' yet. (See Season 2 Blooper Reels.)

15. I've see this episode at least a dozen times and I never before noticed the correlation of the smashing star jar and smashings to come. Guess that proves you can always find something new in an X-File.

16. Mulder pilfers Roland's property and TWC2 I am really beginning to appreciate hips-before-hands Mulder. (See The UnNatural.)

17. Guess the agent in the Seattle Regional Office got transferred to Washington between now and Season 3. (See Apocrypha.)

18. Mulder's going for the Rainman angle, definitely the Rainman angle.

19. Mean Scientist, I told you so. (See Nos. 2 and 8, above.)

20. You know, there are worse ways to go, but I can't think of a more undignified one, with the possible exception of autoerotic asphyxiation, than getting your head frozen in a vat of liquid nitrogen. (See CBFR again.)

21. Call me perverted, but I like hearing that smashing head; and that ear crunch. Ouch!

22. But I LOVE the body outline on the floor with no head, and then all the little x's marking the spots. Tooo funny!

23. "I don't think they'll be performing this experiment on Beakman's World." Or on Bill Nye the Science Guy for that matter.

24. "Treat yourself." There's that wacky phrase again. Why do I find that so darn strange? And they say it all the time on this show. Maybe that's an X-File. You know maybe that's why GA would sign for Season 9, maybe she wants to treat herself . . . danger, danger! Don't go there! Back to CTP!

25. Mulder & Scully show amazing psychic ability for figuring out computer passwords. (See also Little Green Men and Memento Mori). I'm thinking of changing mine tonight to THISSUCKS . . . Cease and desist! Keep your mind on the task at hand!

26. Roland has more shirts than Mulder? I didn't think that was possible. (See Return to Me.)

27. Even Roland, who is mentally challenged, knows better than to trust someone who wears those ties when he says a shirt is "stylin'".

28. TWC3: Mulder in rolled up sleeves. Holy flaming cow!

29. I believe this IS Rainman. Two brothers, one locked away, one with all the advantages . . . is there any counting of toothpicks in this episode? (See Bad Blood.)

30. TWC4: Cool doo. Mulder was talking to Dr. Nollette; I was talking to Mulder.

31. M&S visit Dr. Nollette and marvel at his college hijinks. "An egghead classic." I bet Mulder participated in his share of those.

32. I've seen this frozen head thing before. (See Futurama.)

33. "Wouldn't your client find it somewhat inconvenient to be thawed out in the future only to discover he had no functional mobility?" Mulder is greatly amused by Scully's wit.

34. "Same age, just less hairy, and with better eyesight." This cracks me up every time.

35. TWC5: I'd like to see Mulder, same age, still lightly furred, but with poorer eyesight. Bring back Mulder!Glasses.

36. Mulder finally gets someone on the couch; the Doctor is in!

37. One of these days we should analyze what this dream means, given all we know now: Mulder dreamed he was swimming in a pool and could see his father underwater. But when he dove down, the water stung his eyes. And there was another man at the pool watching him, who upset him. He was asking Mulder questions he didn't want to answer. And he had to leave. He couldn't find his father.

38. Perhaps we should do that right now and quit thinking about a possible Season 9 with no . . . no, no! Remember, CTP, CTP . . .

39. Mulder wants to play space invaders. Tells Roland to BE the spaceship!

40. Roland just wants to know who's tinkering with his controls.

41. Scully confirms she has two brothers, though we'd like to say seeing is believing.

42. "Does this pitch somehow end with a way for me to lower my long distance charges?" You think that's funny now, Scully, but in Season 9 when you have to place all those long distance calls . . . oh, God, will this madness ever end! Stay on target, stay on target.

43. Mulder tends to get phone calls AFTER talking to Scully's brothers. (See Redux II.)

44. "One sibling has closer ties to a frozen fudgesicle than he does to his own brother." Scully is 2 for 2.

45. After some M&S yin and yang (sigh, the good old days), Scully decides she's got to call her brother. PLEASE call Charlie. Please, please!!

46. Poor directionally challenged Mulder. Though never wrong while driving, apparently he has been wrong while walking, anyway. (See FTF.)

47. Arthur's head suffers a meltdown.

48. M&S discuss the birds and the bees as only they can. You know, even educated MDs do it. (See Small Potatoes.)

49. No TWC since #36? Well, bring it on. (See Arcadia and FPS.) TWC6: Mulder is looking fine while chatting with Scully in the regional office.

50. M&S figure out the plot, finally, and head for the laboratory. Mulder, you left your lights on. Lariat frowns at that kind of thing.

51. TWC7: Running Mulder/Scully. Hoo-boy! (You know you're in bad shape when there is only one number between TWCs.)

52. Come on, Scully, get those little legs moving! (See Bad Blood again.)

53. Scully is having a giant fan flashback. (See Ghost in the Machine.)

54. Love TakeCharge!Scully as she says, "Hey!" to Mulder who is badgering Roland as Arthur.

55. He looks stunned, but back off he does.

56. Compassionate Scully reaches Roland underneath the Arthur brainwaves. We know you have compassion, Scully, how can you do this to us, how can you make us suffer . . . I said stop it! (Maybe someone is controlling my brain now! Now I'm scaring myself!)

57. TWC8: As Mulder is explaining jet propulsion, I am SO thinking something entirely different.

58. Roland gives Tracy his stars for safekeeping. Just like Scully gave Mulder her cross for safekeeping (of Mulder, that is). (See Requiem, if you believe. If you don't, disregard.)

59. Still loving Mark Snow's music.

60. Does Roland see himself or Arthur in the mirror? We'll never know.

61. I guess when the TWC goes up to 8, that's either a good sign or not, depending on how you look at things. I've seen the future. And it looks like that. (See Humbug.)

62. Okay, I did the best I could. I know our thoughts aren't really on CTP tonight. But maybe this little TOTM helped you to remember some of the wonderful XF moments that have created this obsession. And actually, I think Roland said it best in this episode, pretty much summing up how we are all feeling right about now: "People . . . go away, and they're not supposed to come back."

Keep thinking good thoughts until we know for sure. I'm gonna try.

Polly (major apologizing for TOTM and for lateness.)