Theatre of the Mind ~ Dod Kalm

1. 925-Piper's birthday! Hey, how come Westie's birthday doesn't seem to be making the in-jokes list?

2. Mutiny on the Ardent-nope just doesn't have the same ring to it.

3. This pretty much proves my point that moles don't look good on everyone.

4. The fishing trawler captain seems to have a little problem with his "th's". His ship number is "CV tree tree" and he tells the lifeboat he is "trowing" them a line. Glad he didn't try to say Trufferin' Truccotash!

5. Insert your own Viagra joke here.

6. Okay, do you think that actor really has that mole, or did they just slap that on there so we'd know it was the same guy under all that makeup?

7. Back in the day, Scully was a little more forgiving of Mulder making her appointments for her, wasn't she? At least he said thanks!

8. Maybe she's so forgiving because he's full of little touches in this episode. (Is that TWC?)

9. Return of the Mole Man!

10. Just proves why Mulder needs the LGM. His "clearance code" for Scully wasn't worth the paper it was written on.

11. Scully seems to have had time between the hospital and the office to stop and get her hair done.

12. Touching again-little hand on the shoulder action. (Is that TWC too?)

13. Close runner-up to the slide show: the Mulder push-pin extravaganza!

14. TWC1 (officially, anyway): It's a woo-hoo push-pin extravaganza.

15. And I thought "The Philadelphia Experiment" was just a movie I haven't seen!

16. Somehow, I think Agent Chesty Short probably had a copy of the expense report for this case up his little auditing sleeve. No prior approval from supervisor, two tickets to the middle of Norwegia, boat rental, anti-aging cream, yada, yada, yada. Well, at least I guess they didn't have to reimburse Trondheim for the loss of his ship. (Oops, I'm getting ahead of myself.)

17. TWC2: Mulder in that black mock turtleneck in the bar. That's the holy flaming cow moment!

18. Also a nice moment where Scully remembers her father's love of the sea.

19. Sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip, that started from this Norwegian port, aboard this Norwegian ship . . .

20. Awww, Mulder is sick. I hope he didn't barf all over that black turtleneck. But why else would he have taken it off? Now I am depressed.

21. Love Scully's cute smile after Mulder compliments her legs. (And she's touching back!!!)

22. M&S sure don't seem to have much luck with boats (see also Quagmire). Despite Scully's sea legs, I think these two should remain landlubbers.

23. Good thing that roll of paper towels was handy, or Mulder would have smacked his head right into the wall. (Not that it would have hurt it any Mr. Head Like a Rock.)

24. Oh boy, this is gonna be a big ass flashlight episode!

25. Well, this is beginning to look like a nice trip to the ocean . . . (see also Ice, Darkness Falls, and Firewalker).

26. It looks to me like Captain Barclay is hiding in the refrigerator. Maybe he likes his Jack Daniels chilled?

27. Trondheim provides a nice burial at sea service. I too value people who leave me alone.

28. TWC3: Foggy!Mulder. Very nice.

29. I guess we can forgive Mulder for kind of slacking off while keeping watch. He's had a rough day, and it's about to get rougher!

30. So sweet: "You want a few more minutes?"

31. Mulder wants to talk wormholes and military experiments, Scully is spouting free radicals and giant sea batteries. These two crazy kids!

32. "Is this a quiz?" ROTFLMAO!

33. S-"Where are we going?" M-"I'm not sure yet, but we don't have much time to get there." You ain't just whistling Dixie there, gramps.

34. More proof that you're never safe in the bathroom on the X-Files! If there's not some dead guy there with his brains splattered on the wall, there's some guy drinking out of the toilet.

35. Can't watch the Mulder/Trondheim confrontation without LOL. Anyone who has seen the Season 2 bloopers will know what I mean!

36. Have-lab-will-travel Dr. Scully is ready to roll and she wants blood and urine NOW!

37. Luckily, the makeup folks seemed to have improved between this episode and Amor Fati in Season 7. Mulder aged slightly better the second time around. (Although he probably preferred this ep as his "Detour" hair wish came true.)

38. On the plus side of this rapid aging thing: Menopause-10 minutes tops!

39. Actually the makeup does add one positive to this episode: DD and GA are buried under so many layers of goo that they must use their eyes to convey their emotions, and they both do it beautifully!

40. And while we're handing out kudos: Mark Snow's score for this one really conveys the claustrophobic feel of this dying ship and helps to bump the tension up just a tad. Wonderful!

41. Trondheim wants Scully to forget Mulder and run away with him to the sewage processing hold, but not our Scully! "What does remain clear to me is that I can't give up trying." :::sigh:::

42. TWC4: Have I mentioned that I like Scully's barn coat? I do.

43. M&S must have spent most of their time giving each other manicures, as they seem to have avoided the hideous fingernail growth that affected everyone else. Eww!

44. Guess Trondheim didn't learn to share in kindergarten, but his selfishness prompts Scully into a state of urgency. She moves pretty fast for an old broad!

45. I guess this explains why they never ask Scully to be the bartender at the FBI Christmas Party.

46. Try this, Mulder. It's a Sour Herring with a Snowball Chaser.

47. You try it. *I'm* not gonna try it. Let's get Trondheim! He'll try anything! Hey Trondheim!

48. I get all choked up when I watch this scene where they discuss who will drink the Scully Cocktail. Mulder wants her to drink it to save herself and gives her some very valid arguments, and she weighs all he has to say carefully. But then there is a very definite "no" before the bottle breaks anyway. In my opinion, by refusing to drink, she is saying that a life without Mulder isn't worth living. Awww!

49. Poetic justice: Well, Trondheim, you got all the water for yourself. Happy now?

50. TWC5: Mulder talking about the cruise he never got to take! (That was from Estelle Getty.)

51. Scully's gravelly voice is a nice touch, but Mulder's Katherine Hepburn impression was just a little much. For a minute there, I expected him to start talking about "On Golden Pond." Now if these two had just seen fit to "suck face," I could have forgiven that too!

52. Mulder, you don't want to go on one of those cruises. You can't drink the water.

53. I like Scully sharing her abduction memory moment with Mulder. And I REALLY like the fact that she specifically says "after the doctors and even my family had given up. . ." Did you notice who WASN'T included in that statement?

54. But of course, I can't help thinking about the bloopers: "Howard Gordon is a dead man."

55. Any problems with this episode are forgiven for these last few glorious minutes: Scully comforting a dying Mulder with words and touches, the usually stoic Mulder admitting weakness, the lovely Norse legend about the end of the world, and Scully's beautiful reading of it. (And she has nice penmanship too.)

56. Did anyone else sniffle just a bit at the image of M&S as the rescuer found them? Side by side, head to head, where they lay down to die together. I'm getting all verklempt!

57. I hear Mary Chapin Carpenter in my head: "Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be. When our time has come, we will be as one, God bless our love, God bless our love. Grow old along with me, two branches of one tree, face the setting sun, when the day is done. God bless our love. God bless our love."

58. Once again it was science that saved Agent Mulder's life. Thanks to Scully for writing it all down.

59. And of course, her first coherent thoughts are of her sweetie-pie!

60. But even though Mulder was a lot worse off than Scully, he seems to have bounced back faster with treatment. (Perhaps this has something to do with the fact that he didn't have a close-up in the last scene and they just didn't want to apply his makeup again!)

61. At least they get to share a hospital room! That'll cut down on expenses. (See #16.)

62. All in all, a pretty good episode with lots of good teamwork, some very sweet moments, Scully's Norse legend voiceover, and a happy ending where M&S live to fight another day. Well, once again this TOTM is a little longer than I intended. I guess "time got lost." So I'd better wrap it up. "I think I hear the wolf at the door."

Whew, just under the wire. With apologies as always,