Theatre of the Mind ~ Fearful Symmetry

1. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is XF Mambo Number 5:

One, two, three, four, five,
Everybody grab a mop and come on, let's jive,
To the tunes on the box, could they be any sweeter?
The folks in this building could be a littler neater.
Can't work too hard cause I might get a blister,
Workin' with the guy who killed Scully's sister.
The tunes on the radio are so invitin',
But now I hear a noise that's a little bit frightenin' . . .

2. Gosh, I didn't know "Big Brother" *and* God were watching!

3. How do you make an elephant stew? Keep him waiting for hours!

4. I bet the owners of these cars had a tough time explaining this to their insurance companies.

5. I think someone has been caught in those construction delays one-too-many times.

6. Breaker 1-9, Breaker 1-9, Brew-meister, you got your ears on? What's your 10-20, good buddy, you still on Route 7? Yeah, I need to know how the roads are lookin' up ahead, can you give me a 10-13?

7. Elephant just appearing out of thin air, huh? Yep, that sounds like a 10-13!

8. I've heard of Gorillas in the Mist, but Elephants in the Roadway? Cue the opening credits:

9. A little bit of X-Files in my life, A little bit of Scully by my side, A little bit of Krycek is all I need, A little bit of Skinner is what I see. A little bit of Byers in the sun, A little bit of Langley all night long, A little bit of Frohike here I am A little bit of Mulder cause he's my man!

10. Pssst, Scully, it's Luis Cardinal! Standing right there next to you! He killed your sister! Grab him!

11. Oh, I forgot, that hasn't happened yet.

12. I know you can't wear white after Labor Day, but what about in black hole season?

13. TWC1: Lots of woo-hoo moments in this one! Here's the first.

14. Should we arrest David Copperfield? Yes, we should. But not for this.

15. Fun Facts You Need to Know: Ganesha the elephant is named for the elephant-headed Hindu god.

16. How do you keep an elephant from charging? You take away his credit card.

17. TWC2: M&S look mighty-fine while questioning Willa.

18. The pens and habitats are too small for these zoo animals? Too bad you don't know some kindhearted general contractor who has experience in building larger habitats for zoo animals. (OT TWC: And looks great in a hard hat, I might add.)

19. I never heard of the Wild Again Organization. I have heard of the Never Again Organization which is dedicated to the preservation of an episode that proves not everything is about Mulder.

20. I always love ArchingEyebrows!Scully, and she gives one of her best right here.

21. A gorilla that knows Sign Language? I saw a movie recently that had a gorilla in it that knew Sign Language. I can't quite recall the name of it though . . .

22. TWC3: As Scully notices the night vision camera, I only have eyes for Mulder. :::sigh:::

23. I wonder if Mulder is a FONZ? (That's Friend of the National Zoo, for those uninitiated.)

24. How do you get down from an elephant? You don't. You get down from a duck.

25. Agreeing to disagree, Scully keeps an eye on the WAO while Mulder goes off to do his impression of Rex Harrison or Eddie Murphy, depending on your generation. (OT: I'm sure you don't care, but I like the Rex Harrison version. The PushmePullyou, the Giant Pink Sea Snail, what's not to love?)

26. Did Mulder just have a sudden urge to *see* the Lone Gunmen? The Spud State doesn't have any cell phone towers? I don't quite understand the video-conferencing thing. Maybe the LGM were supposed to appear in x number of episodes in Season 2 and this helped meet their quota?

27. However, I am quite impressed that they know all about the strange goings-on at a little zoo in Fairfield, Idaho. They didn't even have to consult their files or anything! They know about the disappearances, the pregnancy thing, the talking gorilla, etc. I guess they were so prepared cause they didn't want to have to call Mulder back on the videophone.

28. Brrring! Well, that blows my cell phone theory.

29. It's the lovely Agent Scully. Please tell her that Frohike is buff.

30. Scully is buff as well as she scales the fence with ease. Her sixth sense about when to wear skirts and when to wear slacks really pays off!

31. Never one to be outdone by Scully, Mulder hops the fence too. He had his lockpick thing, but he just wanted to show you he could do it.

32. The tiger reminds me that the title of this episode comes from William Blake's poem, The Tyger. Tyger, Tyger, burning bright In the forests of the night What immortal hand or eye Could frame thy fearful symmetry? Don't wait for *me* to explain it. I have trouble with "Birdie, birdie in the sky, why'd you do that in my eye?"

33. But I do love the shot of the tiger attack reflected in the camera lens. Cool.

34. Scully plays bad cop, but forgot to bring along a good cop.

35. "That guy really pisses me off." (Did our little Scully really say that?)

36. I think Mulder pisses her off too when he asks if she has calmed down!

37. OT: Awww. Mulder meeting Sophie reminds me of Bob feeding fries to Sidney in RtM. Oh, yeah, *that* was the name of that movie! Come on October!

38. I thnk this has the makings of a new show on A&E: Elephant Autopsies.

39. You'd better check your job description Scully. I'll bet in fine print it says, "Other duties as assigned."

40. Squish! Schlurp! The sounds of Scully's usual autopsies are magnified by 2 tons. Can't wait to hear this one on DVD.

41. How do you catch an elephant? Hide in the grass and make a noise like a peanut.

42. Looks like Scully really got into her work. Do you think Mulder will wipe that off later?

43. "I still can't believe you bet on the Chargers." I bet Morgan & Wong can't either.

44. "How'd the tiger get all the way across town without being spotted?" Maybe he has a Jaguar?

45. If my office had a conference room like this one, I would never pay attention in meetings. Wow!

46. Aliens creating their own Noah's Ark. Those Amazing Mulder Animal Theories strikes again.

47. Gee, Mulder really *does* talk to the animals.

48. Hmmm, so Kyle and Willa were involved? That's roughly equivalent to a shipper and a noromo being involved, wouldn't you say?

49. Look out, Kyle, It's a jungle out there (and in there too).

50. Scully plays bad cop *again*! (But I think Willa thinks Mulder is insane cop.)

51. TWC4: Mulder in the warehouse. Hoo-boy!

52. Boy, Scully must really make an impression as the bad cop. All she does is threaten to read Willa her rights, and Willa confesses all!

53. Okay, show of hands. How many just knew that Mulder would end up in the room with Sophie?

54. I repeat that Mulder must have a head like a rock. Not only does he manage to remain conscious after his Sophie Encounter, but even in his dazed state he sees Sophie's message in a very dark room, and then *remembers* said message.

55. Sadly, in Season 2 Mulder *still* hasn't learned the benefits of letting Scully baby him when he's hurt. Mulder, let Dr. Scully kiss it and make it all better! (Just don't let her try and take your pulse. That usually has tragic repercussions!)

56. As I watch Mulder sign Sophie's message to Willa, I much prefer the blooper reel. Anyone for charades?

57. Poor Sophie. I hope her offspring are doing well on the Alien Ark. Or maybe in the Chicago zoo?

58. Will "man save man?" Maybe that's Mulder's mission during his stint at the Alien Holiday Inn. Only time and Season 8 will tell.

59. Cut to end credits:

A little bit of X-Files in my life,
A little bit of ease from cares and strife.
A little bit of Mulder and Scully too,
A little bit of what I call woo-hoo.
A little bit of Skinner and all the crew,
A little bit of fun for me and you!
A little bit of shippiness is so keen,
A little bit of thanks to 1013!

60. That's the TOTM for "Fearful Symmetry."

"And the next thing you know, they'll be doing it on MTV Sports."