Theatre of the Mind ~ Kill Switch

1. I believe this is what prolonged exposure to the Internet will do to you.

2. Bad computer. Bad, bad!

3. This is certainly an effective advertising tool for the Metro Diner. High-class clientele, too.

4. Do you think that the Metro Diner is at all like Mel's Diner? Guess not, since the waiter didn't say "Kiss my grits" after the man with the laptop was so nasty.

5. Like Mel's or not, after that shoot-out, I think it's a good bet that Alice doesn't live here anymore.

6. It's 2:45 a.m. Scully is not in the mood for pie jokes.

7. TWC1: Woo-hoo! How can a man look so good at 2:45 a.m.?

8. Mulder seems to know an awful lot about Donald Gelman. Anyone else think that at one time Mulder was just an "inspired nerd" too?

9. Mulder is leaping early and often in this episode. All those dead felons and he figures out it's Gelman who was the real target?

10. Good time to mention that this episode was written by guest sci-fi-guys William Gibson and Tom Maddox (perhaps inspired nerds themselves) and directed by old standby Rob Bowman (who has been too busy to direct this season since he's working on the exciting XF movie!!).

11. Mulder is so cute when he's swiping evidence. And doesn't he know you're not supposed to handle CDs that way?

12. TWC2: Holy Flaming Cow! Those arching eyebrows, that nice little smile, the lovely amber strobe lighting, it's "Twilight Time" all right. Doesn't Mulder look like he wants to say, "Scully, may I have this dance?"

13. Since M&S are in DC, why is Scully driving a rental car? Nothing in the FBI fleet available at 2:45 a.m.? And a Canadian rental car at that (since the nifty close-up of her dashboard tells us that her speedometer is set for kilometers, rather than miles; that is, unless Scully's car can go 220 miles per hour.)

14. Another entry for the Most Frightening Frohike Vest-leather with fur trim!

15. Scully knows that the only difference between men and boys is the size of their toys, so she lets the boys play while she enjoys the latest issue of The Lone Gunman. (Of course, she takes time out to pop over and suggest they check the email.)

16. Scully seems just as amazed as I was that Mulder knows right off the bat that those numbers signify standard ID for shipping containers. Coulda fooled me.

17. Mulder learns the hard way that it should always be "Ladies first."

18. Mulder gets zapped once and is down for the count; Scully gets zapped twice but is still able to pull her gun, get off a warning shot, apprehend the suspect, and say "Thank you." What a woman! (And I think Scully is a little pissed about that zapping thing!)

19. I hope "Invisigoth" has just returned from a masquerade party where she attended dressed as a raccoon. Otherwise, I'm a little concerned.

20. Nice to know that Mulder has so much faith in Scully's abilities that he didn't go to help her, even after hearing that shot. He's busily inspecting Invisigoth's home sweet home when Scully returns.

21. Being the "inspired nerd" that he is, Mulder becomes a believer pretty quickly.

22. Good thing Scully is getting to drive a lot in this episode, cause she needs the practice. (Maybe it was just Mulder yelling at her that made her scrape the sides of the car while backing up. Or maybe it was because it was a Canadian rental, eh?)

23. Explosion #1: Pretty impressive.

24. TWC3: Hoo boy! When Scully says "no more screwing around," I hope she's not talking to him.

25. It's Mulder in the Middle between these two gals! Too funny.

26. "Were you the bass player?" Scully's still pissed about that taser thing. And she's not believing a word of this techno-mumbo-jumbo.

27. The LGM are falling all over their tongues at the arrival of Esther Nairn. (I think Scully is now a little jealous since she used to be the only one the guys thought was "hot". That's why she's so pleased to learn that Invisigoth's name is Esther Nairn.)

28. TWC4: He is *so* hot! Well, Frohike said it first. It just reminded me.

29. "You don't want to take a vote." ROTFLMAO!

30. Frohike is just in awe of Esther; Scully is even more jealous. Maybe she does have a thing for 'Hickey after all. Or maybe she just figured she would always be the only Lone Gun Girl.

31. Frohike even has the fingers cut out of his latex gloves. That sort of defeats the purpose, huh?

32. How come nobody looked at Scully when Esther mentioned people who work for the government?

33. Don't you love how Mulder just stops his car in the middle of the road to do some funky T3 Connection poaching?

34. TWC5: Just in case you care, that boyish display of agility *is* turning me on. As are the leather gloves. If only I had a footwear shot, I'd be in seventh heaven.

35. Bedhead!Scully.

36. It freaks me out a bit to learn that the "boys" all sleep together in the same room with the lights on.

37. Esther gets the drop on Scully, and even though Scully gets to drive a *different* car, she is really, really pissed now. She even does her Ed McMahon impression. "You are correct, sir."

38. I guess the Gunmen traded in this car for their nifty VW van that they had in "Triangle" (and now).

39. Scully plots her escape and plans how she's gonna kick Esther's butt, but it's all for naught. Esther's reduced to tears and surrenders her gun willingly, and Scully's ready to bond.

40. Well, Mr. Smarty Pants, the doorbell on the trailer should have been your first clue that something was amiss. (And I feel I can call you Mr. Smarty Pants since we learn you graduated summa cum laude from Oxford and "with honors" from the FBI training academy. And we learn that Mulder worked on the XF for two years before Scully joined him.)

41. Scully finds that there's a broken heart underneath Esther's tough facade, and of course she can't be pissed any longer.

42. "Imagine being mingled so completely with another, you no longer need your physical self-you're one." You know what I'm thinking, of course.

43. Mulder can be quite the handyman when it comes to breaking and entering.

44. David wasn't in the blown up house, but I don't think he fared too much better in the trailer.

45. Did you ever wish that you had one of those restraining contraptions so you could just grab Mulder and . . . that's probably just me.

46. Time for another Platters oldie but goodie, Mulder: "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes."

47. Gee, it's never like this on "ER."

48. And who does he want in his hour of need? "You have to call my doctor. Call Dr. Scully. Please call Dr. Scully." Awww.

49. Scully and Esther have bonded so well, they're now almost Thelma & Louise. (And isn't it sweet that Esther is now wearing Frohike's jacket?)

50. This is a very strange hospital Mulder is in. First that odd crucifix over his bed, and Nurse Nancy and her red nails, cross necklace, and alien lapel pin.

51. TWC6: What do you mean his arm is amputated? I was too busy looking at his chest. Nice!

52. I wasn't sure whether Mulder was in greater danger of being smothered by her breasts or by the pillow.

53. There's always a truck marked "flammable" around when you don't need one.

54. Explosion #2: Eh, just so-so.

55. Mulder is thinking, "Scully never wakes me up in the hospital this way." Perhaps that's why he doesn't let her call him Fox.

56. DD has some nice moments here, going from contentment to confusion to terror.

57. TWC7: He's got that little boy look again. And thanks, Nurse Nancy, for making those lips even more prominent!

58. Whoops! Mulder always has to go Krycek one better.

59. Mulder is *really* scared now! So it's KungFu!Scully to the rescue!! She karate chops! She spins! She does flying leg kicks (in heels too!). She takes out Nurse Nancy and her Porno Nurse Squad! And she barely breaks a sweat! (Just musses her hair a little!)

60. Aww, didn't your heart just melt at Mulder's pitiful little "Look," when he wanted Scully!Comfort and all KungFu!Scully wanted to do was interrogate him about the Kill Switch?

61. And of course, that's how Mulder figures out that what he's seeing isn't real. *His* Scully would *never* react in such a way when her Mulder is hurt and scared.

62. Now that we know this whole hospital scene was all in Mulder's computer-aided imagination, is anyone else a little worried about our boy Fox? I guess it's nice to know he thinks Scully is so capable of defending herself, but what about all those crucifixes? (Especially the neon one-neon just says "electric sex" to me.) It's interesting how Mulder's "deviant" side mixes so well with the pure and chaste Saint Scully. Well, that's a discussion for another day!

63. And once the realization sets in, whose help is he calling for? Sculleeeee!!!!! Lucky for us, she'll get her chance to save him for real!

64. Where'd that little snowstorm come from?

65. Scully's not gonna put up with any crap. She just whips out her gun and silences that bleepin' alarm, douses that frickin' light, and blows away that annoying little robot! You go, girl!

66. Aww, he's still calling for her, and she's not gonna let anything stand in her way now. (Nifty how you can equate the things that are happening to Mulder to his dreams-the saw blade, the shot, etc.)

67. MSRM: Don't you love how Scully is willing to do anything to save Mulder? And when he's finally released from the restraints and she tells him he's gonna be okay and she's gonna get him out of there-and then she does? Little Scully lugging around big old Mulder. And "Twilight Time" for mood music. :::heavy sigh:::!

68. Esther finds her way to be with her beloved as well.

69. Explosion #3: Very spectacular! Lots and lots of explosions in this ep, huh?

70. Now that things are wrapped up and M&S are together again, they can have one of their little metaphysical discussions about uplinking, life, death, and love (artificial and flesh and blood).

71. Just when you think Frohike's vests can't get any more hideous, he goes and surprises you!

72. You think it's over, and then you get dragged off to North Platte, Nebraska, to learn there's another paranoid trailer that artificial intelligence hath wrought. Esther's final "Bite Me" message should have been the end. It would have been more appropriate.

73. In case you haven't figured it out yet, "Kill Switch" is one of my all-time favorites. As you know, I'm a sucker for Mulder in jeopardy/Scully to the rescue, but this episode offers a lot more than that. It has smarts and tension, good performances (special kudos to Kristin Lehman [Esther] who just connects with everybody she comes in contact with), a fascinating story, and great direction, editing, and effects. So did this little old TOTM do one of my favorite episodes justice?

74. "Gee, I hope so."

Like this episode, this TOTM probably went on just a little too long. But before I apologize and end things right here and now, just let me ask one thing:

"Are you going to take off the cuffs, or do I have to do this with my tongue?