Theatre of the Mind ~ The Post Modern Prometheus

1. Okay, let's get started. Ooh, I love comic books!! Hey, wait a minute. Sorry, I can't start yet, there's something wrong with the color on my TV. Darn, this worthless piece of . . .

2. Oh, it's *supposed* to be in black and white? Never mind.

3. If you name a kid "Booger" you sort of know how he's gonna turn out in the end, don't you?

4. An evening of Jerry Springer and wolf babies. Nirvana.

5. Let's fry up a white hockey puck for a snack!

6. When did Cher get here? "The tears are always clouding your eyes"? I think it's the smoke.

7. I hope Shaineh has double vision or this is one weird-lookin' dude.

8. I think when the script said "we see a little tent action," this is not what they had in mind.

9. TWC1: Woo-hoo! Even when he's out of focus, he looks wonderful.

10. Scully sure gets some good eye-rolling action as she reads Shaineh's letter.

11. It's never too early for your own 1-900 number.

12. What a great way to start the day . . . a big ol' glass of Perk cola!

13. He even makes hypertrechosis lanuginosa sound sexy.

14. "You can't plant a seed in a barren field." I've finally figured it out [slapping forehead]!! The Great Mutato is the father of Scully's baby!!

15. Good to know there's a Price Club in these parts where you can buy peanut butter by the gallon.

16. Izzy's room is a "pigsty". Why do I think that could be important later?

17. Mulder not believing in alien abductions? I guess we know what he took away from Gethsemene, Redux, and Redux II.

18. I love condescending Scully and her smirky little smile.

19. TWC2: Mulder just gives those eyebrows a waggle. He thinks Scully has a "Heart of Stone."

20. Interesting to note that CC wanted to break his own rule about hiring "recognizable" actors on the XF for this episode. He wrote the part of Shaineh Berkowitz for sitcom-star Roseanne, but she turned it down. And of course, he tried to get Cher to play herself. She also declined, but allowed the use of her recordings. The one recognizable actor who *did* say yes was John O'Hurley, well-known as the famous mail order mogul J. Peterman on "Seinfeld," who played Dr. Pollidori.

21. No, I'm pretty sure you always use peanut butter to catch monsters. Bologna is for mutants.

22. Not everybody's dream is to get on Jerry Springer? Have you *seen* Jerry Springer lately?

23. After Scully mentioned the lowly "Half Breed," I certainly expected to hear Cher again.

24. You say Mu-TAY-to, I say Mu-TAH-to.

25. Who's that old guy and his watch-pig?

26. Dr. Frankenstein, I presume?

27. Well, at least they were flies and not bees.

28. After Pollidori puts "I am a scientist" Scully on the spot, love how Mulder looks at her to please explain the scientific nature of the Homeotic Hox gene.

29. Dr. Pollidori has to leave to deliver an address at the University of Ingolstadt, but Dr. Frankenstein first had the idea of "creating" a human while a medical student at Ingolstadt University.

30. There's that unspoken communication again! The look M&S share says "this guy's nuts!"

31. I guess this mutation makes it easier to "run your mouth."

32. It's called "procreation" Mulder. Also "The Way of Love." No wonder you haven't figured out that you're the daddy yet.

33. Mrs. Pollidori either has way too much time on her hands or she needs to fire her decorator.

34. Dr. Frankenstein's wife was named Elizabeth too.

35. More tent action. And you know what happened the last time!

36. TWC3: Mulder is just too cute as he greets his adoring throng at JJ's (that's with two J's) Country Diner.

37. I'm beginning to wonder a bit about these folks in Indiana. Do they look a little *strange* to you?

38. What a breakfast! (I think that's what Scully is going to make for him on his first morning home!)

39. Everything they talked about last night word for word? After they got back to the motel? Oh, darn, it's just what they said about the monster. Where's the fun in that?

40. Tee-hee, I love how they pop their heads around the doorway talking to Izzy. Too funny!

41. TWC4: Hoo-boy! Mulder likes listening to that bootleg Cher tape. Does it have "Dark Lady" on it?

42. I think Mutato should really be singing, "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes." Well, the Platters will get their chance in "Kill Switch."

43. Everyone is raking leaves but Mrs. Pollidori is already decorated for Christmas? That *was* for Christmas, wasn't it?

44. Mulder's little speech outside the Berkowitz home about the "mad scientists" Frankenstein and Pollidari remind us how this episode got its name. The actual title of Mary Shelley's book is "Frankenstein: or The Modern Prometheus." This refers to the figure in Greek mythology who was responsible for a conflict between mankind and the gods. In order to help the people, Prometheus stole Zeus's fire from the sun. The people were thereby given an advantage to the animals since fire gave man the ability to make weapons and tools. Prometheus was severely punished by Zeus who chained him to a rock in the Caucasus. Every night, Prometheus was visited by an eagle who ate from his liver. During the day, however, his liver grew back to its original state. Probably Eugene Tooms favorite story.

45. You gotta get up pretty early in the morning to hide tent action from Agent Mulder.

46. Are they implying that M&S are "Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves"? I don't get it.

47. Could someone take the hockey puck off the stove? I can't see Mulder!! :::cough, cough:::!

48. How come Mulder was overcome by the fumes so much faster than Scully? She's lower to the ground, I guess.

49. M&S sprawled in a heap in the bedroom . . . that might be as close as we ever get!

50. Impregnated! Well, contrary to popular belief, Mulder *does* know how it's done!

51. "I think you know." Gosh, it's been AGES since I heard that!!

52. TWC5: Holy Flaming Cow! He probably looks better in other parts of this episode, but he's just so darn cute with his hockey puck hangover, shirttail hanging out, and talking about violated frying pans. What's not to love?

53. Probably the first and last time a big old tub o' peanut butter has been the smoking gun.

54. The original Frankenstein monster studied and related to John Milton's "Paradise Lost." The Great Mutato chooses Cher's "Mask" instead.

55. Love the struggling shadows on the wall! Really gives it that 50s horror flick feel!

56. TWC6: Woo-freakin'-hoo! What a nice shot of that Season 5 Hair & Sideburns!!

57. Poor Mulder. Fame is fleeting. "Love Hurts."

58. Oh, if *only* they had used the outtake instead! Cause if his crotch was gonna be up all night anyway . . . well, you do the math. "Believe."

59. This mob is getting ugly. Make your own joke.

60. Awww. This part is so sad!

61. Look, Scully, there's a whole bunch of white hockey pucks here.

62. I hope Mulder doesn't get anything on his footwear.

63. Just when I thought that mob couldn't get any uglier . . .

64. Return of the Medium Ass Flashlights! When we gonna see them big boys again?

65. I get the feeling this is going to be an old-fashioned barn burner! Literally.

66. TWC7: Mulder stands ready to protect the monster. My, my, my.

67. Hmm. The Great Mutato sounds just like Jeffrey Spender . . . whoever that is.

68. I think I'm starting to get this now. It gives a whole new meaning to animal magnetism.

69. Aw, he's no monster. He just has a tough time getting dates. The same could be said of Mulder.

70. BTW: Kudos to Mark Snow on the fine, fine non-Cher music in this episode.

71. The story doesn't turn out the way you want? What do you do? "I want to speak to the writer." As long as we all have this option in Season 8 . . .

72. Mulder . . . Scully . . . the Great Mutato. Memphis calls. ROAD TRIP!!

73. Next on VH1: It's an X-Files Music Video!

74. If CC learned anything while writing and directing this episode, I hope it was that sometimes it's in the best interest of the writer to give the people a happy ending. Cause sometimes, they do know what they want and they do know what's best for them.

75. MSRM: Well, there's no fooling you in this episode. As "The Beat Goes On," Mulder is thinking "I Found Someone" as he uses his best Elvis move to take Scully's hand, and pull her firmly onto the dance floor. As she settles into his arms, she's thinking "It's In His Kiss (Shoop, Shoop)" (which is sort of like woo-hoo). They gaze lovingly into each other's eyes, and are finally frozen in time at that exact moment, as they both realize, "I Got You Babe."

76. :::sigh:::! You think Carter doesn't know how to write the ship? He does. And just as this comic book closed with a fairy-tale ending, I hope he lets Season 8 close with one as well.

77. In the end, lots of dreams come true. Mutato meets Cher, Elizabeth gets her baby, Shaineh gets her shot on Jerry Springer, and we get M&S in each other's arms. Maybe it finally rains sleeping bags and they get lucky. What's not to love?

78. DD said in an interview last year that if he could pick one scene to remember Mulder and Scully by, the end scene of PMP would be it. Dancing in each other's arms, delighting in each other's gaze, sweet and carefree and not worrying about the next mutant, alien takeover, or government conspiracy. "If I Could Turn Back Time," that's the way I'd remember them too.

I'll admit that when I saw PMP for the first time, I didn't get it. I'm not a big fan of the Frankenstein legend, so I didn't get all the juxtaposition the first time around. But repeated viewings and lots of discussion have finally helped me realize what this stylized and eclectic episode was *truly* all about: It was CC's bid for an Emmy. He came darn close, as PMP was nominated for 7 Emmy Awards including nominations for him as writer and director. He didn't win either one, though the episode did win for art direction. He also received a Director's Guild of America nomination (that he didn't win either). So once you figure out the true motive, you can just sit back and enjoy the ride. Many people love it, many people hate it, and many people just don't know quite what to make of it. But as far as I'm concerned, any episode that ends with smiling, dancing, and gazing can't be all bad.

People ask me all the time why do I apologize at the end of each TOTM?
Because I can.