Theatre of the Mind ~ Schizogeny

"Schizogeny" (except spelled "schizogony") is a scientific term for asexual reproduction-fission-frequently used in botany texts. It has been hypothesized that in this case the title "Schizogeny" is actually a combination of the prefix "Schizo" meaning "split," (referring to the split personality of Karin) and the suffix "geny" meaning "production, generation, origin," (as in progeny, referring to the children and their problems with their parents). It doesn't really matter what the title means, because most importantly, it is part three of the S-Y trilogy! ("Syzygy," "Synchrony," "Schizogeny.")

1. I think that I shall never see, an X-File lovely as a tree.

2. Kids today, huh?

3. Way to build up that self-esteem, Phil.

4. I really "dig" Bobby's shovel. But who's that man in the forest? I think I'll "axe" him.

5. In retrospect, I bet Phil wishes he had stayed inside and had a few mudslides instead of worrying about his shovel. (Great "mudcam" shot, though.)

6. TWC1: Is this a show about abused children, the Michigan Mud Murders, or axe-wielding psychopaths? Who cares! Mulder is looking mighty fine!

7. Mr. Rich might appreciate Mulder's joke about mud pies, but Scully didn't. (Lighten up, Scully!)

8. Double D got in big trouble with that "400 inches a day" rain joke on the Conan O'Brien show. (Lighten up, Vancouver!)

9. Thanks to the censors for sparing us that "dickweed" remark (our virgin ears!) and for doing such a fine job on the "dorkweek" overdub. We watch the X-Files; you think we can't read lips?

10. Don't Bobby's bedroom walls remind you a little bit of Mulder's office walls?

11. Who's Kennedy? Why a VJ on MTV, of course.

12. You'll have to forgive Mulder 'cause he's old and stupid.

13. Mulder asks Bobby a bunch of questions and stuff, and Scully asks Mrs. Rich a bunch of questions and stuff, and they give differing opinions of what was really going on and stuff, and Mrs. Rich says "and stuff" a lot.

14. TWC2: We haven't seen old stick-your-fingers-in-it Mulder for quite a while! And he had to take off those sexy leather gloves to do it. Hoo-boy!

15. I think maybe Mulder thought that *he* was a hard kid to love too, but he just had a dysfunctional family.

16. Mulder just loves hearing those wacky Scully theories about creating a vacuum and turning your esophagus into a siphon and stuff. It gives him quite a chuckle!

17. Can't make friends, in therapy for anger . . . yup, Scully agrees, that could be him! (Didn't you think we were gonna get some Mulder childhood insight? Nope. This ep is not about that either!)

18. MULDER FOOTWEAR!!! Ya-hoo!! Not Timberlands, but love those wingtips, bay-bee!

19. The actress who plays Lisa is the daughter of production designer Graeme Murray.

20. Psycho killer? Well "sticks" and stones may break my bones and stuff . . .

21. A loooong glance at Karin's shoe . . . looks like Mulder has a footwear fetish too.

22. Of course Mulder doesn't think Bobby did it. He's a defender of the dick . . . er, dorkweeds!

23. Great dive by Lisa's dad! A half-gainer with a twist. Only a 5.9 from the Russian judge, though.

24. Have a nice day? Not.

25. TWC3: I think I may give up my footwear fetish for a glove fetish. Woo-hoo!

26. None of the empowerment seminars I've attended include tossing people out windows. Though that might work for me too.

27. "I think we're all quite capable." Some of us are more capable than others, however.

28. That's funny: When Mulder & Scully are at the window, there are lots of glass shards in the bottom. But when Lisa looked out the window the night before, there was no glass in the frame. In fact, she put her hands on the sill and looked out. Do you think someone put that glass back in and stuff?

29. The biggest X-File in this episode is wondering what in the heck Bobby is doing with that comb in his science class. He surely hasn't been using it.

30. M&S are pulling the old switcheroo on us. Scully goes to conduct the questioning while Mulder goes to view the autopsied body. Yup, that makes a lot of sense.

31. TWC4: Holy Flaming Cow!! "Evidence." With pointing.

32. Those tree shadows on the wall remind me of "Poltergeist." They're here!

33. Is anyone else feeling that Karin is a little spooky?

34. Climbing!Mulder!

35. "Is this demonstration of boyish agility turning you on at all?" Oh, yes.

36. I think the proximity of the guy with the axe is impacting Scully's ability to get excited.

37. Maybe you should come down here Mulder, cause if I'm going to get chopped up, you're going to be right beside me.

38. Didn't you just love seeing those feet as he jumped down? Well, that was probably just me.

39. Maybe this episode is about "feet" and stuff. In addition to Mulder!Footwear we've got muddy footprints in the kitchen, Lisa's stocking feet going down the stairs, and a pair or shoes attached to Lord knows what in the basement. (You'd think Lisa might have tried to turn on the light, huh?)

40. TWC5: How'd you like to open your door and find *that* standing there? Mercy!

41. Karin's dad's death just a coincidence? Well, if coincidences are just coincidences, why do they feel so contrived?

42. That's good, Lisa. Yell for help *after* they get in the car.

43. Mulder gets to the "root" of the problem using his own shovel.

44. Lisa's a quick study. This time she remembered to yell *before* Aunt Linda got in the Volvo!

45. Poor Aunt Linda. She never got a chance to "branch" out and be a substitute mom and stuff.

46. Mulder likes Scully's little grave robbing joke!

47. Here's another X-File. How do two people stand out in a pouring 400" rainstorm and not get wet? Leave it to Moose & Squirrel.

48. This is just a suggestion, but why don't you two get in the car? Then you wouldn't have to YELL!!

49. "I think you're a serious kid." Takes one to know one.

50. Mulder tells such good stories. Complete with vivid flashbacks and stuff!

51. Karin, just remember that the mighty oak was once a NUT like you!

52. Why try the light switch? Just whip out those Medium Ass Flashlights!

53. It's a good thing they dug Mulder up before he got root-rot like Karin's dad.

54. Who knew we would get so much Action!Mulder in an episode about trees (if that's what it is about)? He runs, he climbs, he jumps, and he goes on car chases and stuff!

55. TWC6: Whenever Mulder gets to drive fast, he really gives that lip a workout! Woo-hoo!!

56. Fox, Fox, Fox of the Bureau . . . Watch out for that tree! (Sure hope Mulder took out the extra insurance on that rental car.)

57. Mulder, you'd better make like a tree and get out of there.

58. Did you have any doubt that Action!Mulder would jump in the mud to save Bobby? (Don't feel too badly for DD: the mud was heated. His pores probably never felt so good!)

59. Thanks to the Orchard Man, Karin is head over heels and has that sinking feeling.

60. I don't think the dry cleaner will be able to salvage that suit.

61. How did Scully, Lisa, and Mrs. Rich get there so quick? Did Scully hot-wire Aunt Linda's car and stuff?

62. MSRM: No matter how she got there, we're just glad she is! And of course she has eyes only for Mulder. Scully doesn't even make a move for Bobby. She helps Mulder get up and starts to try and get some mud off him before we fade out. That's 'cause she loves him and stuff.

63. A Mulder or Scully voiceover at the end of an episode is usually a sign that the episode is so confusing that people won't get it without that extra explanation (or that they ran short on time). I think it must have been the time thing here. I guess they couldn't think of any more "stuff" to put in. But all in all, I liked it. Any episode with a good looking Mulder and lots of footwear is a good one in my book.

64. Most importantly, always remember, don't ever forget: TOTM's are made by fools like me, but only God can make a tree. "Well, you asked me for answers. Those are the best ones I've got."

I'd like to turn over a new leaf and not apologize, but it's just impossible.