Theatre of the Mind ~ Dreamland II

DISCLAIMER & WARNING: There are now two classifications of TOTMs; those written BE (Before Existence) and those written AE (After Existence). Please be advised that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. The author cannot be held responsible for her actions and cannot promise to now look at these episodes with any type of objectivity or impartiality (cause she's still so darn happy with the M/S ending). Proceed at your own risk.

1. Wow, those are some pretty nice file photos the FBI keeps in their files. But if you can take your eyes off the photo, we do learn that Mulder's SSN is 123-32-1321 (which is the same as his driver's license number which is the norm in Virginia), he started with the FBI on 10/24/86, and his mother's maiden name was Teena Kiupers.

2. Look! Mulder dressed as Robert Patrick for Halloween!! (J/K, RP. I love those jug handles!)

3. I don't think Mulder would choose Spock as his Halloween costume; he'd be a Tribble or something. Now Scully as Spock; that's something else. She's certainly got the eyebrow for it.

4. It appears to me that Mulder's apartment is very similar to the Mulders' 1970s home. Same chair rail, anyway.

5. Somehow I like what this goofy home movie told us: that once upon a time, the Mulders did have a pretty normal life. Then Samantha disappeared, and everything changed. :::sniff:::

6. Gee, it looks like some of Mulder's awards and diplomas survived that office fire. But where is that stuff hanging since he works in a cubicle now?

7. Mulder's "one step away from pushing a baby carriage . . .". You can say that again!!!!!!!

8. No need to shout, Mulder. She believes you.

9. FOOTWEAR AND LEG IRONS!! I'm sorry, did I pass out there for a moment?

10. I don't think Mulder's going to be hot-sticking it anytime soon either. At least not MulderasMorris. I believe MorrisasMulder has other ideas.

11. Kersh? "What a jerk." You can say that again.

12. Finally, a date! And Mulder cooks. You can say that again.

13. TWC1: "You're my bitch now, pencil neck." It's a danger zone, but you take my breath away.

14. "Son, you got a set on you. I'll say that much." You can say that again. 15. Mulder thinks fast on his footwear . . . er, feet.

16. "By God, you do got a set on you." You can say that again. (And it's not that we don't believe you, but we have been trained to get scientific proof, so . . .)

17. Mulder has a cute little kitchen. But I don't think he'll be using it any more. (tee-hee-hee)

18. His bedroom is a little messy, but I don't think he'll be using *it* any more either. (tee-hee-hee)

19. "This guy hasn't been laid in ten years." You can say that again.

20. I still think Chris should have gotten that nose job instead of that nose ring.

21. They're just being teenagers, Mulder. You have a while before you have to worry about that.

22. Special Tramp Dana Scully. I don't think the FBI makes a badge for that.

23. You'd think Mulder would have learned in "Triangle" that it's pretty difficult to convince someone of your true identity, especially when you look like someone else. I think he and Scully need a password or something since they seem to spend a lot of time in other people's bodies.

24. TWC2: Most men don't run around calling themselves Fox because they aren't one.

25. What do you suppose Morris did with the stuff in all those boxes in the bedroom? Mulder probably won't be too worried about the loss of his research, but all those magazines . . .

26. "I didn't even know you had a bedroom." You can say that again.

27. A waterbed and overhead mirror? "No, I don't hate it." Hmm. Kinky!Scully.

28. TWC3: "Maybe I like to read the New York Times backwards." You can say that again. Look at that reflected belly button!!

29. Sorry, faux Mulder footwear just doesn't do it for me.

30. Have you ever noticed that when someone gets to inhabit Mulder's body the first thing they want to do is put the moves on Scully? What's up with that?

31. Handcuffs? Perhaps there *was* something to that "special tramp" title. Naw, I think Scully has a plan.

32. Scully, you go girl! We knew you weren't fooled for a minute. (Well, maybe for a minute. But you came to your senses before he slapped you on the ass again!)

33. There's nothing more embarrassing than prematurely popping your cork.

34. "'Baby' me and you'll be peeing through a catheter." You can say that again. (The girl knows how to insert one, too. And she won't make it pain free.)

35. Isn't it convenient how the phone rings like that just at the right time? But shouldn't it have sounded like Mulder's voice on the answering machine?

36. Look at those talented feet! What better way to peek out of your venetian blinds?

37. Ah, if only he would touch Scully's face like that. :::sigh:::!

38. The Little A'Le'Inn is an actual cafe off Highway 375 the "Extraterrestrial Highway" in Rachel, Nevada. But it's much smaller and not as well decorated as the one in "Dreamland II." And it looks like the whole gang is there! Just like Cheers! Norm!

39. TWC4: You know I'm a sucker for reflecting Mulder. He looks fine in the barroom mirror.

40. General Wegman? You? Well, you got a set on you too, I'll give you that!

41. Aw, a sweet parking lot reunion. No secret password yet, though.

42. See, Doggett, even the best of them get a drink in the face now and again.

43. "I guess I make a lousy husband." Oh, come on, Mulder. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

44. Morris and Mulder finally meet in the bathroom. Unfortunately, those bloopers do not allow me to view this scene with any dignity or decorum.

45. That's funny. You usually only get a crowd in the ladies room.

46. The Lone Gunmen at home. Martha Stewart does not live here. It's a good thing.

47. The LGM know if Scully says it's not Mulder, then it's not Mulder. They know she's serious, cause she waggled her eyebrow.

48. The LGM seem to write about mandroids a lot. (Dig the JCFOS reference!)

49 John Gillnitz makes his fourth appearance on the XF ("Wetwired," "Leonard Betts," and "Christmas Carol," were the first three). That's more appearances than Queequeg.

50. I love the LGM motto: "The Newsletter for Those Who Want to Stay Informed and Alive." Published monthly for one dollar an issue, $10 a year, or $25 for three years. What a bargain!

51. Mulder asks Wegman, "What is the truth?" (Psst, Mulder, I'll save you lots of time. It's "love.")

52. "Do aliens really exist, Agent Mulder?" He'll get back to you in about 2 years.

53. Today's science lesson: Tachyon - A hypothetical subatomic particle that travels faster than the speed of light.

54. Let's see. Frohike is to Sneezy, as Byers is to Doc, as Langly is to Happy. I used to be Snow White. But I drifted.

55. How did those kids get those Big Ass flashlights? That should be a federal offense.

56. My mother warned me that something like that could happen if you messed around with boys.

57. MSRM: The nighttime scene in the desert is, I think, one of their finest. You can just feel the heartache as they realize they could be stuck in this situation forever.

58. "I'd kiss you if you weren't so damn ugly." You can say that again . . . oh, go ahead. Risk it. (Of course, that's a line from "Planet of the Apes." Do you think someone on this show likes that movie?)

59. Nothing says love like promising to kill your alter ego.

60. Kudos to Mark Snow for the beautiful farewell music as Scully prepares to walk away. (BTW, Scully, the music is worthy of more than that "buck up" squeeze of his arm.)

61. Mulder knows how to say it with sunflower seeds. Best gift since the keychain.

62. TWC5: That beautiful last shot . . . nearly the Holy Flaming Cow moment, but not quite.

63. Oh, that whole scene has left me all verklempt. It was like buttah. Tawlk amongst yourselves for a minute. I'll give you a topic. There is no such thing as good grief. Discuss. And anyway, the next scene is just the part where the kids have separated and the Man in Black guy has figured out that things are reversing. No big whoop.

64. I'm pretty sure that Scully's thinking if she has to have Morris as a partner, she'd rather not have her job back. Funny how you don't really appreciate Mulder till he's gone. (Season 8 words to live by.)

65. "This place was burnt to the ground." You can say that again. Scully's figuring it out. Mulder's as good as saved. Hooray!!

66. Mulder, I wish you were within earshot to hear how Morris convinces his wife that it's really him. It's the little details that count. All you could come up with was a badge number, middle name, and that bee pollen thing. Next time you have to convince Scully of your identity, I expect to hear something about tickling her kneecaps while she was pregnant! (Unless you get that password.)

67. TWC6: "This isn't what it looks like." You can say that again.

68. Time snaps back and you don't remember anything that happened. Perhaps the boys at 1013 are suffering from this same space time continuum problem.

69. I'm sure Mulder would have done something about that last Morris slap of Scully's behind, but there just wasn't time. Perhaps he's just trying to figure out how Morris got away with it.

70. Mulder back in the gray tee shirt where he belongs. And love that shoulder shudder. It's deja vu all over again.

71. GPM (that's the Good Phone Moment, in case you've forgotten): A "Mulder, it's me," and isn't their conversation so, so sweet? And "Hey, Scully? I, uh, know it's not your normal life, but thanks for coming out there with me." Awwww; that's the GPMSRMM (Good Phone Mulder/Scully Relationship Moment Moment). And I believe the acronyms are getting out of hand here.

72. Hang on to that fused dime and penny, Scully. And take it with you when you go.

73. TWC7: Holy Flaming Cow! They went and saved the best for last! You can't beat that little dumbfounded look at the "42" on his apartment door while dressed in gray tee and black leather.

74. As usual, there are a lot of unanswered questions at the end of the "Dreamland" two-parter, like why didn't the fused dime/penny and Mulder's new furniture disappear, or better yet, how is Mulder going to pay for all that new furniture? Oh, who cares? "Dreamland I and II" were sweet and funny and prove that what is considered a "normal" life is defined by those who are living it. There's a change a-comin' in the M&S relationship in Season 6, and "Dreamland I and II" pick up nicely where "Triangle" left off, just a little closer to reality (though not quite there). And if you ever need an M&S pick-me-up, you can always think back to that beautiful goodbye scene in the desert. Better yet, "Take a picture. It'll last longer." You can say that again.

I got my semi-annual TOTM evaluation while the TOTM's were on hiatus. It says that I am "willful, insubordinate, and not a team player. Just another crackpot who watches too much Star Trek." You know what I have to say to that. "Kiss my ass, you desk monkey."

Apologies, as always,