Theatre of the Mind ~ One Son

Tonight's TOTM *begins* with an apology. In a sure sign that I am getting old and senile, it dawned on me yesterday that in the "Two Fathers" TOTM, I neglected to remind you of a GPM (Good Phone Moment) and an MSRM (Mulder/Scully Relationship Moment). In my own defense, I think the lack of a GPM selection was understandable, since there was no phoning at all in "Two Fathers"; but to forget the MSRM? It's just this side of blasphemy. Unforgivable. Reprehensible. Me bad. Is that how easily it can happen? Be afraid, my friends. Be very afraid. As if that weren't bad enough, my bud SLS was good enough to point out an important typo in #25 - should have been "world" and not "word." Guess I should be glad I didn't forget the HFC Moment, which only proves I'm not dead yet.

Lest I forget again, in lieu of a GPM, let's award a GDM - good dribble moment. After all, Scully got a little chuckle out of his hip-hop bball act. And as for the MSRM, I'd have to say the scene where Scully enters the gym with the box of info she gathered on C.G.B. Not because of their attitudes toward each other, but because she's out there beating the bushes to get that information while Mulder is content to practice his free throws. She's not doing this just to find out more about what happened to her during her abduction; she's doing it because she cares about him.

And with that, let's finish this two-part bad boy.

1. I think even Mulder sounds bored in this Mulder-logue.

2. No wonder when he has to use words like "hurly-burly" in a sentence.

3. That's probably CSM burning that picture to eradicate all evidence of his Elvis hair.

4. No fair that your Dad has to miss your birthday because he has to go to a big alien meeting.

5. Close Encounters Flashback!

6. Cliffhanger, yeah, right. We knew he couldn't shoot her. He can't even shoot the bad guys when he has a chance.

7. Guess that rumor about major termite infestation at Hegal Place wasn't a rumor after all.

8. True to form, Diana arrives with some big rubbers.

9. Hooray for Cassandra! If looks could kill, Diana would have been dead. Maybe Cassandra got a whiff of some stale cigarette smoke.

10. M&S finally shower together!!! Somehow, it doesn't live up to my expectations.

11. But they do each "sneak a peek" that somehow says, "I've seen you naked before but you've always been drugged, shot, or infected by an alien virus. Nice to see you standing up for a change." (Scully got a better view too!)

12. Aren't they cute in their matching outfits?

13. TWC1: Mulder's pretty cute tugging on his wet hair; wet hair is not a good look for Scully.

14. Thanks, Scully. Sometimes being a math geek comes in handy.

15. It would have been so appropriate if Scully had put on her best "Princess Leia" face and said: "Diana. I recognized your 'fowl' stench when I was brought on board."

16. I think Scully's hostility probably stems from the fact that Diana is wearing her outfit. How embarrassing.

17. I gotta stop watching those bloopers. I'm really trying to concentrate and all I can think of is Scully's left cheek sneak.

18. He owes his neighbors a lot more apologies than you do, Diana.

19. You're not gonna put the kibosh on her, Mulder, so you can quit saying, "Scully ...". To paraphrase the immortal "El Mundo Gira," "Two women. One man. Trouble."

20. Oops, she's got you there, Scully.

21. Don't be mad, Scully. Doesn't it say something that he did check up on Diana's story?

22. Oh, I don't know. As soon as you think you know who the "one" is, another "one" comes along.

23. Is Krycek like a Junior Elder or something?

24. It's a WWBMD? moment: What Would Bill Mulder Do?

25. Again, bloopers have colored my appreciation of Mulder's clothing predicament. Tequila!!

26. TWC2: :::sigh:::! He's talking about his ***SHOES***!!!

27. Look, it's Bea Arthur! Where's the rest of the Golden Girls?

28. Those tests might have been bad, but at least they cured Marita's lisp.

29. For someone who's a prisoner, Marita sure seems to know and share a lot. She mentions everything but bee husbandry. (Maybe she can't say it since she lost her lisp.)

30. I know I'm skipping ahead here, but why didn't Marita ask Mulder to help her get out of the facility? Something smells fishy to me . . .

31. The Fowl One can't even let the mother and son reunion happen in peace.

32. I'll bet Frohike unlocked those locks in record time when Scully showed up in that funky poaching outfit. Yowza!!

33. Mulder has left the building and left Jerk!Mulder in his place.

34. :::gasp:::! I'm not normally one to condone violence to resolve problems, but at this point I recommend that Scully thwap him one upside the head and knock some sense into him.

35. Well, at least he didn't put his hands over his ears and go LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA. Pretty darn close, though.

36. TWC3: Yes, he's being a jerk, but a good looking jerk, nonetheless.

37. Scully is absolutely right on. Mulder asks her and his credo is to trust no one. Yet he trusts *everyone*--Diana included on simple faith, and that is always his downfall.

38. Even the LGM know that Mulder has just committed a major faux pas. (And I think they probably read him the riot act after Scully left.)

39. Yeah, she *says* she's walking away, but we know she won't be able to.

40. FWIW, though he is being a jerk, I really don't think this is a case of Mulder "choosing" Diana over Scully. I think it is more a case of stubborn pride. He can't bring himself to believe that he could have been fooled so completely by Diana betrayed by someone he obviously had a professional and personal relationship with at one time. He also can't bring himself to believe that he could be such a poor judge of character, and to believe that he was being played for a fool and that his life was being orchestrated by the Consortium 10 years ago. He'd prefer to put up a false bravado that Scully's suspicions stem from jealousy (professional or personal - your choice) rather than hard evidence.

41. It seems appropriate that all good conspirators should live at the Watergate.

42. For those who need constant reassurances: (a) he has to look for Diana's apartment, so he's obviously not a regular visitor there; and (b) he doesn't have a key.

43. MSRM - I firmly believe that the fact he immediately goes to Diana's apartment - to confront her or to search for evidence - proves that Scully's words hit home more than he'd like to admit. If he had complete faith in Diana and her motives as he indicated to Scully, there would have been no reason to go to her apartment, and particularly to break in. He has something to prove, but maybe not what you think. If he was so certain of his convictions, why was there a need to confront Diana? To prove Diana's non-complicity to Scully? What for? He has something to prove to Scully about *himself* -- and in my opinion, that's about as close to an MSRM as you're going to get in this episode.

44. Mark Snow has sure milked every drop out of that movie music, huh?

45. Diana's apartment gets nearly as much traffic as Mulder's . . . and I meant that in only the nicest possible way.

46. All the Mulder Women have armoires by their front doors I guess.

47. Wow, that is a *lot* of lingerie. What does she use all that for, do you suppose?

48. I think he's held a gun on you *more* than once, C.G.B., and he is chronic sufferer of trigger interruptus. Well, he gets it *cocked* this time at least.

49. TWC4: Woo-hoo! Don't you think C.G.B. should have begun this bedtime story with, "Once upon a time, there were Two Fathers . . ."

50. It's nice to see Papa Mulder again, if only briefly. But no Deep Throat? Well, luckily, the cast of "That 70s Show" was available for a cameo.

51. Sure wish C.G.B. would have explained why they took Samantha instead of Fox.

52. Do you think the Colonists hatched this plan while watching "Independence Day"? It sounds vaguely familiar. (But thanks for letting us know how those pesky bees fit in!)

53. Call me a cockeyed optimist, but I've always felt that when C.G.B. gave Mulder the rendezvous site and said, "Save her," that he was talking about Scully, not Diana. After all, C.G.B. and Diana were in cahoots. He had other ways of letting her know where to meet. I know it's probably not the case, but I'll believe what I want to believe, okay?

54. Mulder's finally got all the info he's ever wanted. Now what's he going to do with it?

55. Okay, that was too contrived. Ratboy is definitely serving his own personal agenda here.

56. Why By-God West Virginia? Almost heaven?

57. My favorite line: "The biggest bastard of all."

58. No problem selling out the human race, but kill you ex-wife? No can do.

59. Funny that Mulder's run-in with C.G.B. left him in pretty much the same state as his run-in with Krycek in "The Red & the Black." Just sittin' and thinkin' about fate and destiny. (You don't think Old Smokey kissed him, do you?)

60. TWC5: Just seeing him sitting there, I daresay Diana had much the same reaction as I did: Holy Flaming Cow!

61. Notice he says he didn't *find* any evidence that Diana had loyalties elsewhere, but he didn't say he was convinced she didn't, either.

62. "Fox." Blech. Sounds like crap when you say it.

63. Remember, he said *those* you love.

***** WARNING ***** WARNING *****

For those who are Fowley Intolerant, please avert your eyes and skip immediately to Number 67. For those who can take it, cowboy up and keep reading.

64. Yeah, they kissed. Big whoop. I saw more passion when Krycek kissed him last year.

65. It meant nothing. Here's why:
a. *She* kissed *him*.
b. He's a man. He's not thinking with his beautiful mind.
c. He broke the kiss. Yeah, he held her but I think he was in shock. Look at his face.
d. Just remember who will eventually be whose constant and touchstone.
e. Just remember who ends up with whom with a little bitty baby between them.

66. See, that was pretty painless, huh?


67. Once again, Marita knows too much. I smell a set-up. Oh, and it happens to be 10:13 p.m., FYI.

68. Didn't CSM put that alien fetus in a jar in the Pentagon at the end of "The Erlenmeyer Flask"? So how did it wind up back in the liquid nitrogen? Unless there's more than one . . .

69. I always suspected there was something odd about Bea Arthur.

70. How much lingerie do you think Diana packed for this trip?

71. GPM: When I watched this episode on its original airing on February 14, 1999, a very weird thing occurred. Right at this moment in the show, something happened with the network feed and a commercial started. The error wasn't corrected until just as Mulder was hanging up from Scully. Naturally, my first thought was conspiracy. The network censors didn't like the "good phone" and took drastic measures to suppress it. Of course, later on I learned what was *actually* said, but I'm giving *my* version the GPM Award. In my version, Mulder's side of the conversation went something like this: "Hey, Scully, it's me. Yeah, I'm with Diana. We're coming to get you. We're all going off together. The world will be ending soon and the three of us need to make a new life together. Scully, I think you need to open yourself to extreme possibilities. Well, how do you *know* you wouldn't like it until you've tried it? Scully, maybe it's time we stopped thinking about saving the world and start thinking about our own pleasures, our own desires, our own . . . okay. Party pooper." Okay, that's not what really happened, but it was pretty good phone, huh?

72. Once again, Mulder's ready to give up, but Scully keeps going and going and going. And ultimately, he knows where his place is. By her side.

73. I think now we see why Scully rarely gets to drive. Parking on the track? What was she thinking? Boy, her insurance rates are gonna go up big-time.

74. An 11:21 (p.m.) reference just for old-times sake. And everyone's gathering for the big Consortium Reunion! Where are the rules about this flight anyway? Are you limited to just one carry-on?

75. Do you think they called Skinner to help them stop things or because they wanted to make the threesome a foursome? Hard to say.

76. Yeah, Alex is missing and so is the Mulder Party. And CSM didn't invite Jeffrey along? How rude.

77. Why is Ratboy so miffed that the Rebels took the fetus? Does he have a side deal with the colonists? Are the rebels good aliens or bad aliens? Why am I asking more questions?

78. Can't get past security? What security? People are running around all over the place there.

79. Maybe if Krycek had helped Marita, he wouldn't have ended up in that prison in Tunisia.

80. How come we couldn't meet the aliens outside and see their big old spaceship? Too expensive?

81. I see the Consortium Reunion has turned into a Barbecue! Too bad CSM and The Fowl One had to leave early. Rats deserting a sinking ship comes to mind.

82. Very clever way to rid yourself of all those pesky Vancouver actors. I'm sure it was getting expensive shuttling them back and forth from Vancouver to L.A.

83. Cassandra is very clearly off to the side when the Syndicate goes up in flames, so to speak. So is she living happily ever after with the rebels?

84. Chris Carter, I begged you begged you not to do it, but you just had to, didn't you? You had to redeem Jeffrey and make me like him, didn't you? He takes all the blame and recommends that M&S be put back on the XF. When he put his hand on Mulder's shoulder and Mulder got a lump in his throat so did I.

85. Oh, but thanks CC, for leaving Kersh as the man I now love to hate! Blech!!

86. TWC6: I think Mulder looks pretty sheepish when he looks at Scully while talking about "sleeping with the enemy." But I can just tell she forgives him for being Jerk!Mulder.

87. The future is here. We have to fight the future, don't we? And you know, one man alone cannot fight the future . . .

88. Love how Kersh asks Scully to "make some sense." If you can do that, Scully, you're a better man than I am.

89. Remember that I was a spoiler virgin back then, but I guess I should have been able to figure it out. It started with "two fathers" and would end with just "one son." But the shooting of Jeffrey took me completely by surprise. CSM refused several times to kill Cassandra, but had no trouble gunning down his own son. Why? Because he "paled" to Fox Mulder? Couldn't "honor thy father" as Fox Mulder had done? Couldn't *be* Fox Mulder? Jeffrey said he would be his own great man, and perhaps this was the only way he could. If it's any consolation, Jeff, remember that folks on the XF never die, they just fade away ... and return in flashbacks, visions, and dream sequences.

90. "Two Fathers" and "One Son" were supposed to be the episodes that provided *all* the answers. *All* the answers that we didn't get (and were expecting, as promised) in the movie. Of course, as in XF tradition, when you answer some questions, you create new questions. And as we all know, sometimes you take back your answers at a later date. I don't think these episodes answered all *my* questions (one of which, of course, is who is really Mulder's father), but as XF episodes go, they did answer quite a few.

91. I will always remember "Two Fathers/One Son" with fondness for one reason: It prompted me to change cable companies so I could get FX. You see, in conjunction with the "big, revealing episodes" on FOX, FX was running a two-week X-Travaganza: all the conspiracy episodes in a big marathon. Well, with that, they made me an offer I couldn't refuse and I traded in the Cartoon Network in order to get FX. And we have lived happily ever after. (Though I'd sorta like to get back the Cartoon Network someday. Why can't we have both?)

92. A lot of folks don't like "One Son" primarily because of the Fowley Factor, but in terms of the MSR, think of "One Son" as the episode where things hit a little speed bump. Yes, it served to slow down what had been moving along so nicely in Season 6, but only briefly. Things were soon righted again and the MSR was back on track heading toward the point where it could speed up in Season 7 the Season Where It Gets Personal. And Chris, just remember that personal interest is all that I have. And if you take that away, then there is no reason for me to continue.

Apologies again for screwing up "Two Fathers," and apologies for this being so darn long. And major apologies for the fact that it stinks. By the way, there must be some kind of mistake. I signed up for the aroma therapy treatment.