Theatre of the Mind ~ Je Souhaite

1. I wish this guy would shut up. He is annoying.

2. Anson would rather be sailing.

3. I've heard of sweeping things under the rug, but ...

4. Well, shut my mouth! Literally! (Pretty cool effect.)

5. TWC1: Woo-hoo! Well, shut my mouth again!

6. It's Perky!Scully. Yup, this girl is *definitely* gettin' some.

7. Mulder's eyes say, "Not now, Sunshine. We've got company."

8. Jay Gilmore is named for the son of former Virginia governor Jim Gilmore. Writer Vince Gilligan had promised an aide to the governor that he would use the name in an episode.

9. Great cover there, Scully. Not.

10. Show me the mouth! Blue Cross should have paid.

11. TWC2: Mr. Gilmore is probably doubly self-conscious about his lack of lips given the protuberant pout sitting across the desk. Hoo-boy!

12. Oh, how I miss the banter and the touches! Scully's Rational Explanations, Mulder's little grin as he indulges her. I wish we could have these back again!

13. TWC3: Nice outfits!

14. Written and directed by Vince Gilligan. Vince's first directing gig. (BTW, Vince had wanted to direct for a long time, and decided to go ahead because even at this late date everyone still thought Season 7 would be the end of the XF and this would be his last chance.)

15. I knew we'd see some ship in a Vince episode!!

16. Anson Stokes is named for "Happy Days" star Anson Williams. Thankfully, Leslie is not named for Anson William's "Happy Days" character: Potsie.

17. Maybe in their next show: Agents Mulder & Scully, IRS. The taxes are out there.

18. Love the Mulder/Scully lean-in to check out the dark haired lady. Too cute.

19. Leslie has better Rational Explanations than Scully: chemicals.

20. "You still have both your lips." Said like he'd really miss them if they were gone.

21. Time for a nitpick: It appears this locker hasn't been opened since the late 70s and Gilmore was just now getting around to having the stuff removed? Those folks in Missouri are mighty tolerant of an unpaid bill.

22. I see a future XF crossover episode brewing here: Mulder & Scully at the Antiques Roadshow.

23. Dark haired lady with Travolta wannabe.

24. Love that remote control!

25. "I Dream of Jeannie" with 'tude.

26. Another nitpick. Mulder said in the first scene that Mr. Gilmore's condition happened "about a month ago." I don't think Anson (or Jinn) would have waited a whole month to make the third wish.

27. The next invisible James Bond.

28. Jinni's have come a long way, baby. No more "boinking" necessary. Just "Done." I like it.

29. Kudos to Will Sasso. He's a hoot as the dimwitted Lynyrd Skynyrd lovin' Leslie.

30. Great effects throughout Anson's Invisibility Dance.

31. To quote a certain Federal Agent: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

32. I think I would like to have seen the scene where they decided to transport this invisible body.

33. Skeptical!Scully becomes DaVinci!Scully as she transforms her "canvas" into a yellow Mona Lisa. During filming of this scene, Kevin Weisman (who plays Anson) had an allergic reaction to the yellow powder being used to cover him, and they had to come up with a new mixture.

34. Scully's little jar of magic Yellow Dust goes a long way.

35. TWC4: "I can see straight through to his ass." Alas, if it were but true.

36. Scully is just so darn proud of her work of art and scientific discovery! She is downright giddy!

37. Best phrases I ever learned on the X-Files: Chronic morbid tumescence and extreme priapic condition. Do you think the censors don't own a dictionary, or just didn't want to admit they didn't know what that meant?

38. Holly Reference: The day that Mr. Raise the Doorframe Sch-wing was admitted to the hospital, April 4, is also the birth date of Vince's girlfriend, Holly.

39. Fact Worth Knowing: In Greek and Roman mythology, Priapus was the god of procreation and personification of the erect phallus. When you get that question in Final Jeopardy, you can thank me.

40. GPM: No "good phone moments" in this one, so how about a "Good Proof Moment"? I think it's so sweet that Scully thinks she finally has her scientific proof of the paranormal, so much so that she doesn't want to leave Anson unguarded; and even though Mulder doesn't think so, he doesn't want to burst her bubble. His sweet "Okay" and the look on his face is wonderful as he leaves Scully mentally planning her acceptance speech for the Nobel Prize.

41. TWC5: Singing!Mulder! Can you do the Partridge Family theme next?

42. Mulder is having serious Aladdin fantasies, but only Leslie knows how to "open sesame".

43. Big Ass Camera!

44. Scully is excited but modest and thinking about her cover spread in the New England Journal of Medicine. But Mulder's done indulging.

45. It's a Mulder Video Show as Jinn gets the Forrest Gump treatment.

46. Leslie obviously didn't remember the key advice about mailbox baseball: hips before hands.

47. Great work by GA as she falls from the pinnacle of the pathology mountain and hits rock bottom while trying to maintain some modicum of her professional reputation before the folks from Harvard.

48. Just two guys sittin' around eatin' corn flakes out of Tupperware bowls. Not really a Kellogg's commercial in the making.

49. I'm glad Mulder didn't scream like that when he came back from the dead.

50. Poor Scully. But she's wearing that green "all things" sweater; and I have to think she chose that because the last time she wore it she got lucky.

51. Mulder's being very supportive by continuing to look in the morgue drawer. He can relate to being made a fool of: been there, done that.

52. Wasted two wishes and a bowl of corn flakes, but Leslie finally gets it! Legs! Oops, no longer needed.

53. Love the "ow" as the rug drops on the ground. And, um, it's also on fire.

54. TWC6: But I would say, "Would you mind removing your footwear, sir?"

55. Scully wants to know how Anson got from her morgue to the Samuel Clemens Trailer Court ... I mean the Mark Twain Trailer Park. (A "Bad Blood" flashback in honor of Vince!)

56. Mulder's right again (98.9% of the time) much to Scully's chagrin.

57. The censors must have caught that one and substituted "big hoo-hoo".

58. Thumbs up for another "Happy Days" reference. Heeeeeeeeeeey!

59. Vince originally wanted Janeane Garofalo for the part of the jinni, but Paula Sorge does a bang-up job in that role. The acting in this one is first-rate all around, including DD and GA.

60. She's not good or evil. She just gets her kicks by punishing greedy ingrates for making the same mistake she did - not being specific enough.

61. "He unrolled me" and gets three wishes. I hope this rule works for Moose & Squirrel later on.

62. The Fish Cam!

63. TWC7: I think my wish has already been granted. Blue shirt and rolled up shirtsleeves. Mercy!

64. So typically Mulder, trying to beat the system and make the perfect wish by asking her what her wish would be.

65. Frankly, I'm surprised Mulder didn't wish for a remote like Anson's and Leslie's.

66. DD gets to give us his version of the fall from the summit, as his "perfect" wish takes a nasty turn. (And great detail as the traffic and aquarium sounds fade away to give Mulder his "peace on earth.")

67. TWC8: Oh my ... le derrière. Je souhaite ...

68. Mulder runs by the Alexandria Hotel as he explores his peaceful earth. They remembered he lives in Alexandria!

69. And his first thought was that he didn't want to be in a Scully-less world. Awwww.

70. Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me? He didn't mean to be grotesquely egotistical.

71. I don't think Jinn is really a bitch; I just think that's what 500 years without caffeine will do to you.

72. Great shot as the real world returns during Mulder's tirade. Great work, Vince!

73. For the record, this is Mulder's preliminary third wish that he's typing on his monitor, as he's trying valiantly to come up with the "perfect" words: "Whereas, I have one wish left and desire to use it most effectively for the good of all mankind, and whereas, this wish contains great potential for the betterment of life as we know it, and that equal potential for grave danger, chaos, and mayhem, let effect, a world run amok, and whereas, I must cover all bases ..."

74. I'd love to hear one of those Skinner calls to Scully asking her to do a "Mulder Check-Up".

75. Jinn was right. I *don't* think Scully likes her very much.

76. Good move, Mulder! I think from now on you should always groan like that when Scully tries to deny what she's seen! It's time to fish or cut bait.

77. I've often wondered what this episode would have been like had it been *Scully* who had been granted the three wishes. But that would have ruined the payoff, as Scully is the one who's able to bring Mulder back to earth and make him realize that wishing shouldn't make it so ... it should be up to us to make those things happen. Otherwise what is our purpose here on earth? Scully returns the "bubble bursting" favor. He knows she's right.

78. No butter? I agree; un-American.

79. Perhaps a nod to DD, who watched "Caddyshack" on his first date with Tea Leoni.

80. Shiner Bock - from the "Little Brewery" in Shiner, Texas.

81. She shoots! She scores! Obviously *somebody* has been getting some private basketball lessons from Fox Jordan. (But Fox Jordan obviously needs a little more practice. Well, practice makes perfect!)

82. TWC9: He can't help the miss. He's too busy looking fantastic. Holy Flaming Cow!

83. Much was made over the "What's the occasion?" line; but I think it just means that usually when they spend time together, it's less formal. This is like a real "date".

84. MSRM: In keeping with Vince's theme for the episode: Fairly happy days are here again. I love seeing them have a moment just to enjoy each other's company. I wish we had more of that too.

85. Much as we speculate, we all know what Mulder's third wish was. We knew what it would be when Jinn said it. We knew she'd end up with that great cup of coffee, freed from her burden likened to a prison tattoo, just watching the world go by.

86. Cause Mulder didn't need that third wish. The way he *gazes* at Agent Scully, for a verrrrrrrry long time, and his knowing smile says it all. He's *got* everything he needs: the "guy movie" in the VCR, some popcorn and a beer, and the right girl by his side (and maybe a future invitation to watch "Steel Magnolias"). Finally living life moment by moment, enjoying it for what it is instead of worrying about what it isn't. His world is already a happier place. He's all right.

"Je Souhaite" means "I wish" in French, and I guess the moral of this story is: Be careful what you wish for. But what the heck. If I was granted three X-Files wishes right now, in anticipation of the end of the show, what would they be? Here goes:

1) Je souhaite that The X-Files gets the bang-up, kick-ass, pull-out-all-the-stops send-off that it deserves, complete with all the trimmings. Chris & Co., I know you have it in you. Make us all proud.

2) Je souhaite that Duchovny will return for a full-blown appearance in at least the finale. If it was GA leaving and the series was going on, I could live with a cameo; but this is the end. I want all or nothing. And ...

3) Je souhaite that all of us shippers and noromos, DD fans and GA fans, Doggett lovers and Doggett haters, Season 9 supporters and Season 9 detractors - could put aside our differences and spend the time we have left celebrating the show that we have all come to love, for whatever reasons. No matter what, we all have one thing in common - our love of the X-Files. I want to spend these next few months enjoying the show for what it was/is instead of worrying about what it wasn't/isn't.

"Am I leaving anything out?" Probably not specific enough. Just like when this TOTM started you probably wished for a *good* one. Well, see, you didn't specify. So I send my apologies. And with that, there's only one more thing to say.


Polly (a little late for Valentine's Day, but I tried!)