Theatre of the Mind ~ Millennium

1. I thought "Six Feet Under" ended a few weeks ago.

2. Guess Mrs. Crouch was unaware of her husband's extra-curricular activities; otherwise, she wouldn't have needed a note to figure out why he killed himself just a calendar.

3. I guess we know why this was a closed casket funeral. Embalming must have cost extra. Eww.

4. Okay, I know this was "no frills" but I think rent-a-suit is going a little too far.

5. I hope Mr. Crouch isn't going to need those arms in the afterlife. Ouch!

6. As if we needed more proof that all the nuts roll down to Florida ...

7. Yeah, give me a call, we'll do lunch. That's 1-800-THE-GREAT-BEYOND.

8. I'd like to know where I can get one of those cell phone batteries that doesn't need recharging for eight days.

9. Do you think there are roaming charges on a call like that?

10. I hope this poor funeral director didn't bury Mulder too. If so, the guy probably had a nervous breakdown.

11. Okay, maybe they haven't seen each other since Christmas Day ... but oh, that Christmas Eve.

12. TWC1: Woo-hoo! Mulder in big rubbers ... the boots. I was talkin' about the boots.

13. Go ahead and naysay me, but I'm probably gonna miss the banter most of all.

14. If I was driving down the highway and the guy in the back of the truck who used to be dead was now moving around, I'd be praying too.

15. My Websters' says necromancy is the practice of supposedly communicating with the spirits of the dead in order to predict the future.

16. Aren't you impressed that the other agents don't laugh out loud anymore at the "spooky" theories? Now they just look uncomfortable.

17. Frankly, I wouldn't want to be the man's dry cleaner *or* his cell phone service provider.

18. Didn't you just want Mulder to say, "Hey, Scully, that's the tattoo you have on your back!"?

19. The Millennium Group dissolved ... Harsh Realm dissolved ... The Lone Gunmen dissolved. That's just a nice way of saying cancelled.

20. Since Vince is one of the writers of this episode, you gotta have a Holly reference. And we have two, actually: The "Hartwell Psychiatric Hospital" (Hartwell being Holly's middle name), and much of the episode takes place in "Rice County" (Rice being Holly's last name). (And just so you know, there is no Rice County in Maryland.)

21. I thought *Mulder* was the greatest criminal profiler that Quantico ever produced.

22. "Sounds like someone I know." How cute is that? (This early in Season 7 I can already tell that they are much more relaxed and playful with each other. I guess there's some benefits to confessing that you're someone's constant/touchstone.)

23. Did you know that Frank Black was named for the lead singer in one of Chris Carter's favorite bands, "The Pixies"?

24. Frank is watching a game between Notre Dame and Boston College, perhaps significant because in 1924, Notre Dame's backfield was nicknamed "The Four Horsemen."

25. TWC2: Mulder looks pretty fine when frustrated.

26. 11:21 reference (CC's wife's birthday) - the time when the necromancer is fixing his flat tire.

27. And isn't that always the way? You only have a flat when you're transporting deadalive bodies over state lines.

28. I'd say it's a toss-up whether the Deputy smells Mr. Crouch or the necromancer ... he's been wearing those clothes for quite a while now.

29. For some reason, you never see stuff like that on "Cops."

30. December 31 in rural Maryland and no overcoats? I don't think so.

31. We finally got Mulder to wear latex before sticking his fingers in stuff and now he's tasting it!

32. If the necromancer was really afraid that the deputy would come back to life (as Frank says later), shouldn't he have buried him a little deeper? And with no cell phone privileges?

33. Good thing there was a God-fearin' police officer along on this detail to translate.

34. TWC3: Hoo-boy! He looks even better when he's more frustrated.

35. Boy, that's the king of the arcane clues calling the kettle black, isn't it?

36. Gee, whatever happened to doctor/patient confidentiality?

37. I hope Mulder is paying attention to Frank's epiphany that family is more important than conspiracies and quests and stuff like that.

38. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are allegorical figures described in Revelations 6:1-6 in the Bible. The Four Horsemen ride horses that are white, red, black, and pale, and as Mulder said they bring with them war, pestilence, famine, and death.

39. Wow, Frank *is* good. Poor Mulder is probably getting an inferiority complex.

40. Best Mulderism: "Nobody likes a math geek, Scully."

41. Speaking of which, wouldn't you think the guys in the Millennium Group would know when the actual start of the new millennium is? I mean, you'd think it would be on the entrance exam or something.

42. Uh, guys, you know what happens every time you split up.

43. Coroner's Note to Self: Next time, answer the phone.

44. Rice County is obviously a dangerous place. It's only about 11 a.m., and they're stacked up three deep in the morgue. "Three tables, no waiting," definitely does not apply.

45. It's been my experience that following a trail of blood usually ends badly. See?

46. That old Skinner-looking-for-Scully-and-making-us-think-it's-her-under-the-sheet trick. Just how gullible do you think we are? Don't answer that.

47. Scully has come a long way, hasn't she? With only a little hemming-and-hawing she tells Skinner about the guy who was dead and then somehow wasn't. That'll come in handy later.

48. TWC4: Oh, those shades!

49. The necromancer (Mark Johnson) is named for the producer who did "Home Fries" with Vince. It must be hell to be a friend of anybody who works on the X-Files.

50. GPM: Okay, it's an *almost* GPM, cause you know Mulder was gonna call Scully, except for that boondocks thing. (I guess this also explains why the necromancer didn't go home to wait for Mr. Crouch's call.)

51. Salt ... yeah that looks like evidence. Better get some of that for later.

52. Sure, he could have picked the lock, but so much better to remind us that he's a manly man!

53. It's been my experience that a basement that's barricaded like that is barricaded for good reason. See?

54. The return of the Little Ass Flashlights!

55. Please see #42. Sorry to say I told you so. (But thanks for the footwear close-up. Woo-hoo!)

56. GA does a great job in her scene with Frank, getting increasingly frustrated at his arcane answers when her partner could be in trouble. Of course, she's had practice with Mulder's arcane answers for years.

57. I haven't seen it in awhile, but I believe that's the Panic Face.

58. Wow, Mulder sure made a little salt go a long way. Good thing, cause when it rains, it pours.

59. So Frank cheated on his profile. Mulder just might be the best after all!

60. Oooh, it's like X-Files of old: a 10:13 time reference when Frank and the necromancer are preparing for the end of the world as we know it.

61. I'm not sure if Frank uses the flares for lighting for some zombie-fighting purpose or because they're all he has, but they certainly give an eerie glow to the basement, making it that much more scary.

62. Perhaps the dead want to come back to life just for a good game of hide-and-go-seek.

63. I think making a tie tourniquet is a pretty good use for that particular necktie.

64. There sure is a lot of breaking and entering going on around here. Anyone have a warrant?

65. Scully to the rescue!

66. It sure looks to me like these guys had no bigger plan in coming back to life than to eat people. But I guess at least Scully got her question answered good will triumph over evil.

67. For Dick Clark's New Year's Eve show on TV, the boys at 1013 lifted the picture of the Millennium Ball off the internet and inserted it digitally into old footage of a new year's celebration.

68. Frank gets his daughter back and all's right with the world. Since I never watched "Millennium," I don't know whether this X-File has been a satisfying conclusion to "Millennium" or not. And frankly, I'm more interested in a satisfying conclusion to this episode.

69. TWC5: gray tee, heavy stubble, arm in a sling Holy Flaming Cow! Happy New Year!

70. I love watching Mulder make his decision to go for the liplock: listening to Dick Clark say, "No time like the present," watching the people on TV kissing and celebrating, looking at Scully and her lips, and deciding what the hell it's now or never. Go for it.

71. MSRM: Their first real kiss. :::sigh::: It's sweet and longer than a "just between friends" kiss. Though I know many were disappointed, I thought it was perfect.

72. Apparently, it was Shiban who came up with the idea of the "Millennium" kiss. John, forget anything I ever said about those killer kitty kats or that goat sucking thing. All is forgiven.

73. Some were also disappointed with the reactions of Moose & Squirrel following the kiss, but I think it's all in how you look at it. I thought it was a bit shy and awkward, as it *should* be as these two cross yet another milestone in their marathon of a relationship. And truthfully, I think they were *both* thinking, "Why did we wait seven years? We could have been doing this since the Pilot."

74. *My* only disappointment was that Scully didn't put her arm around Mulder's waist as they left the hospital, him with his arm around her shoulders. *That* would have made it totally perfect for me.

75. The end music is wonderful, as the "Auld Lang Syne" theme from the TV fades into a simpler, sweeter version of that tune, one that accompanies the kiss perfectly, and on to that little X-Files theme at the very end. Mark, I forgive you for using all that "Millennium" music in this episode.

76. Auld lang syne is Scottish for "old long since," or the good old days. As The X-Files heads toward an uncertain future, I'm glad we have episodes like "Millennium" to remind us of the good old days when stories were scary, M&S worked together to solve the case, and when they sometimes had moments of true happiness before they had to pick up the gauntlet and save the world once again. And no matter what happens in the future, I'll always cherish those good old days.

77. So I guess this means we can expect wrap-ups of "Harsh Realm" and "The Lone Gunmen" in Season 9 of The X-Files, right? "See, you had me up until there."

"Millennium" had one minor flaw it originally aired over Thanksgiving weekend (sweeps) instead of closer to the end of the year when it would have been more appropriate and more poignant. But we can't have everything. And since the Halloween decorations are out before Labor Day, I guess time and holidays are all relative. Bottom line: It was a pretty good story, reminiscent of the "good old days" in Vancouver, it wasn't too hard to follow if you never watched "Millennium," it gave "Millennium" fans closure, and it gave shippers everywhere an early Christmas present. And, oh yeah. "The world didn't end."

Apologies to all, and Happy New Year!