Writing this TOTM is my own way of trying to get things "back to normal," although we all know how impossible that seems right now. Maybe it will help bring you a fond memory or a chuckle. If you're not ready for it, just save it away for another day. My thoughts and prayers are with each of you. God bless. Polly

Theatre of the Mind ~ Rush

Yo, yo, yo! Wassup? How are all my homeys doin'? Hey, don't trip out or anything, just chill. This is my way of letting you know that even though you think I'm old and stupid, I can still get down with those kids today. Totally. So kick it, and I'm gonna give you the 4-1-1 on "Rush."

1. No. 1 cause of teenage angst: The "My son is an honor student at Insert Name of School Here" bumper sticker.

2. Cigarette Smoking Teenager. Where's Mimi Rogers when you need her?

3. Whoa! Dude! Was that for real? Sweet!

4. Eww. That is whack, man.

5. GPM (almost): Well, you know who he was gonna call.

6. I like the folder love-tap. They are *so* glad to see each other! BIG smiles!

7. TWC1: The man is all that!

8. A Scully, "Oh my God." You know this is bad.

9. Okay, the glasses in the back of the head was tight!

10. Good thing the Sheriff showed up; Scully was about to run out of Rational Explanations (SREs).

11. I think Chastity did a little more than give the "package" a glance when she passed by in the hall. I think she let her fingers do the walking, if you get my drift. She knows a hottie when she sees one.

12. Looks like Scully touches Mulder's elbow, a touch which means, "Keep walkin', Mulder. That's jailbait." And of course, Oblivious!Mulder can only say, "Whaaaaat?"

13. MSRM: There's a lot of nice moments in this one, but I'll chose this moment in the hallway. There's a little bit of flirting, a little bit of jealousy, and I think it's the first glimpse of Possessive!Scully that we'll see throughout this season. Most importantly, it shows the comfort level between the two of them, a theme that will permeate Season 7. A relationship has begun; you won't convince me otherwise.

14. Mulder gives props to his homegirl by telling Tony that it's his "lucky day for visitors" (Chastity and Scully). Scully's blouse is open pretty far, but I don't think that was for Tony.

15. TWC2: Even when all Mulder had to do was drive and park, I doubt he was a player. But woo-hoo, he makes me want to be livin' la vida loca!

16. "How long ago was that?" Ouch. That hurt more than when Scully shot him.

17. Scully can barely suppress a smirk after the "old and stupid" comment.

18. Scully got her chance with the SRE's, so Mulder's got to pop off those poltergeist hypotheses.

19. Flirty!Scully! And is she playing with his tie? We need some longer shots! Pull that camera back!

20. If I could turn back time ... oh, I can!

21. Guess Max was lucky there were no essay questions on that midterm.

22. Chastity remembers you Mulder, or more accurately, she remembers that nicely wrapped package.

23. Scully thinks that some people are aptly named: Fox, yes. Chastity, no.

24. Hey, Max, don't be dissin' Moose & Squirrel.

25. A "Betty"? Another compliment for Scully. A "betty" is slang for a beautiful girl, and probably refers to Bettie Page, famous 50s pinup girl who posed for, shall we say, some "provocative" shots. Bettie and Scully have one other thing in common: in most of her pics, Bettie has on some bitchin' high heels.

26. Evidence gone. No way. Way.

27. He's stuck his fingers in it for years. He tried tasting it in "Millennium." Now he's *smelling* the sticky goo on the floor! Mulder will use those five senses if it kills him!

28. Did I say five senses? Mulder obviously uses the sixth one to spot that blur on the tape ... only Spooky Mulder could spot a blur that lasts 1/30th of a second.

29. Sorry, Mrs. Reed, don't you know you were never "their age"? Parents just don't understand.

30. Man, that ride is dope! Unfortunately, that tree is not.

31. Whoa, that crash was awesome! And so is Mark Snow's music. Love the ticking clock as Tony surveys the wreckage.

32. The return of Chuck! Nearly as good as a Danny sighting!

33. What a lovely camel-colored coat you're wearing, Agent Scully.

34. TWC3: Buckle up, Scully. I believe Mulder is about to take us on a ride through the amazingly handsome. He is hella phat!!

35. Lucky for Mulder that Chuck had his SCAG along to assign colors to the image so Mulder wouldn't have to strain himself performing those major leaps of logic. (But don't you just love that look of wonder on Mulder's face when he sees what no one else sees? He is stoked, man!)

36. If the actor who plays Tony looks familiar, he played David Cassidy in the 1999 movie, The Partridge Family Story. Come on, Tony, get happy.

37. It's comforting to know that if you're arrested for murder you can still take your make-up exam.

38. Thanks to our big close-up of Max's "F," we get a date stamp for this episode (11/12/99), which is a pretty neat trick, since Mulder & Scully already shared that New Year's Millennium kiss. Well, maybe they can turn back time and do it all over again (wink, wink).

39. Is it any wonder there is a shortage of teachers in our country today?

40. Pretty gross, but a pretty cool effect.

41. Best Mulderism: "I'll show you my theory if you show me yours."

42. Oopsie #1: Mulder is telling us how he pulled Max's records from the last few months, but the papers he shows Scully are dated February and August 1996, and the "recent" transcript is dated 1997/98. Since Max took his test in November 1999, that's not very recent.

43. TWC4: And as he "shows" Scully his theory about Max, Holy Flaming Cow! Da man is da bomb.

44. It was great of Chastity to "lead" Tony to the cave, but then where did she go?

45. I think the big shaking thing in the light was the rehearsal for "Requiem."

46. TWC5: Hoo-boy! While it might smell like teen spirit or murder, I think looking at Mulder is true nirvana.

47. I think maybe Mulder has a problem *being* an authority figure.

48. Mulder passes the bone about the "rush."

49. Thanks for pointing out that Max just "needs discipline," Sheriff. And just whose responsibility would that be, hmmm?

50. Two Scully "Oh my God's" in one episode? This must *truly* be amazing!

51. TWC6: "I think I'm starting to get it." Yeah, me too, but I don't think we mean the same thing.

52. Mulder's right again. It's Speed ... but a different kind of drug.

53. Has Tony been getting a Rush Cocktail (shaken, not stirred) the whole time Chastity was springing Max from the hospital? Were Max and Tony moving so fast that they didn't see each other? Do we really care at this point?

54. I think Mulder should try to get dibs on that "UFO crossing" sign in Max's room.

55. I understand that Max is burning the rubber soles off his shoes, but he could try for some footwear variety. (And how come we can't get some Mulder closet footwear shots?)

56. Not another flashlight battering! This could give the Medium Ass Flashlights a bad name!

57. Perhaps Tony does eat his Wheaties after all.

58. "Yo, Scully." Mulder tries to prove he's not as old and stupid as some might think.

59. Ooopsie #2. Somebody left the tape on the floor to denote where DD & GA must hit their marks ... and DD & GA did so very well, I might add.

60. TWC7: Check it out! The man is fine.

61. After 45 minutes of SRE's, Scully jumps on the paranormal bandwagon pretty quickly, offering that the "power" must be in the woods with the effective no trespassing signs!

62. Props to the final scene in the cave, which gives us some pretty cool effects to admire so that we don't think about important stuff like the plot or why the "rush" makes Max turn evil. The blur of movement and the Matrix-like final bullet are very well done. Love the extra detail how Max and Chastity fall simultaneously as the speed goes back to normal. Excellent.

63. In "trying" to explain what happened to Max and the other kids, Mulder mentions the Oregon Vortex. This is an area of naturally occurring visual and perceptual phenomena, which can be captured on film, in Gold Hill, Oregon. It is a spherical or whirlpool-like field of force, half above the ground and half below the ground.

64. Best Scullyism: "We're still slowpoking around." (And more flirting if you ask me.)

65. "What if we're too old?" Say it ain't so. It's enough to make Scully pout just a little, which I'm sure turns Mulder on quite a lot. (And she's sort of still on the paranormal bandwagon which I'm sure is an even bigger turn-on.) I think those two should bounce, go back to Mulder's crib, and let nature take its course.

66. I'm not sure if the movement of the minute-hand on the clock at the end is supposed to represent that Tony is still affected by the experience or that he realizes the "rush" is gone and he is now destined to live in a slowed-down world. See, that's why it never pays to think too much about the plot. Just concentrate on those cool special effects!

67. Despite the plot holes, I liked "Rush" for a few reasons. As noted, the effects were pretty darn cool. And I loved the Mulder and Scully interaction throughout. It was easy and comfortable, good-natured and effortless, playful and a little bit sexy. It left me with an air of mystery about their relationship thus far and about their relationship in the future. And "I dig a mystery with layers."

With that, I send props to all my peeps. Word up. (BTW, if you're not as "hip" as me and need translation for any of the above, just let me know.) And oh, just like back in the day, apologies as always. My bad.