Alone

Theatre of the Mind ~ Alone

1. All alone am I, ever since your goodbye, all alone with just the beat of my heart ...
2. Need to know basis.
3. And then I wheezed, "GARY!"
4. Was that the microwave or the heart monitor? Better check the microwave first ... wouldn't want my Lean Cuisine to dry out.
5. Hey! Say it, don't spray it!
6. TWC1: Okay, he's not an Agent anymore. He should burn that awful photo ID.
7. Memories ... like the corners of my mind ..."Alone" is filled with XF memories (some unintentional) and I'll try to reference them by episode.
8. Prop I'd most like to have: The 11-cent piece. ("Dreamland I and II")
9. Poor Queequeg. Still a bizarre name for a dog. ("Quagmire")
10. Maternity leave! Finally! That must mean she's only got like 3 or 4 more months of pregnancy!
11. No! Not the Apollo 11 medallion! Say it ain't so! Well, at least she didn't present it accompanied by a Hostess Snowball and sparkler.
12. Sure it's dripping with symbolism .... but still a pretty cool key chain. ("Tempus Fugit/Max")
13. "I wouldn't be here without you." Big hug. Puh-leeeze. Well, in all fairness, I guess that's true in a way. When you make a habit of giving your gun away to complete strangers, thereby allowing Jesus!Slugs to be placed in your back, you need all the help you can get. ("Roadrunners")
14. Coming back? We hope not.
15. She'd better have his nameplate in that box. ("Patience")
16. Interesting to contrast Scully's departure from the X-Files with Mulder's, which occurred in the previous episode ("Vienen"). Mulder was always a man obsessed by the work, and Scully was constantly yearning to "get out of the car." Now, here they are facing the possibility of a "normal" life with each other. IMHO, Mulder is ready to embrace that life and leave the work behind, ready to know the "true joy of responsibility, plant his feet in the world, and become a father," thus his departure from the office without looking back, taking nothing with him. Conversely, Scully is finally getting the chance she's been hoping for and yet it's harder than she thought to leave the work behind. The work she's done in this office has helped define her, she's a different person than she was when she walked through that office door the first time, and this was the place she found her constant, touchstone, and soul mate.
17. Final Scully!Thoughts: Eight years later, and my name *still* isn't on the door.
18. Final Doggett!Thoughts: Even though you're leaving, can I come over and watch you sleep sometimes? (Every episode in Season 8)
19. All by myself ... don't wanna be .... all by myself anymore ...
20. Whoa, down boy. Just a little *too* happy when he thinks that's Scully coming back.
21. A new partner assigned and nobody told you ... sounds vaguely familiar. ("Without")
22. I know some people didn't agree, but I still think that "Alone" was one of the finest fan tributes you're ever likely to see. I didn't know the real Leyla Harrison (who lost her battle with skin cancer in February 2001), but I can't help think she would be pleased and touched by the way in which TPTB at 1013 chose to honor her - and all the fans - for supporting the show. Just like us, Special Agent Leyla Harrison is a "fan" of the X-Files; she knows all the cases backward and forward and can recite the details chapter and verse. She's a stickler for continuity. She believes in the work and is incredibly proud and excited to be getting the chance to follow in the footsteps of her two favorite agents. And, of course, she's not afraid to ask the questions that all fans of the X-Files want answered! I still believe this was an amazing gesture, recognizing an amazing fan.
23. Sending the body back to D.C. What, no coroners in New York?
24. Manly Men would stick their fingers in that goo *without* the latex!
25. See, *some* people really want to be assigned to the X-Files.
26. Processing the travel expenses of Moose & Squirrel ... the girl deserves a medal!
27. Oh the days of bile and liver eating mutants! ("Squeeze/Tooms")
28. Isn't it amazing how even "The Beginning" looks good now? ("The Beginning")
29. Careful wandering about the woods, Agent Doggett. You know what happened to Queequeg.
30. TWC2: Holy Flaming Cow. LamazeCoach!Mulder is just too cute for words. Unemployment certainly agrees with him.
31. Come on, Scully, get those little legs moving. Mulder's gotta get home in time for "All My Children."
32. I would have to agree that hormones is the *only* explanation for having this incredible man standing before you and you're worried about Agent Doggett. (And don't even get me started on "Thank you for doing this with me." Sounds like he's changing the oil in her car or something.)
33. Boy? Girl? Boy? Girl? At least he's not asking, "Mine? Not? Mine? Not?"
34. Educational Moment: The book Doggett finds on Stites' desk is "The Sixth Extinction: Patterns of Life and the Future of Human Kind." Written by renowned paleoanthropologist and environmentalist Dr. Richard Leakey and science writer Roger Lewin in 1995, the book lays out the historical record of the Earth's five previous mass extinctions and argues that the sixth is currently underway. ("The Sixth Extinction/The Sixth Extinction II: Amor Fati")
35. Doggett Ditch.
36. Probably not much chance to use your firearm in Accounting, except to get those missing receipts.
37. Poor Doggett. Now he has to head up the Search for Harrison Task Force.
38. Oops. Watch that first step ... it's a doozy.
39. The bigger question is why was Scully calling Doggett in the first place?
40. Scully, what part of "maternity leave" don't you understand?
41. Doggett has Excedrin Headache No. 1013.
42. Never a cell phone signal when you need one.
43. It *is* like old times: Scully's never been able to mask that "deer in the headlights" look when she's caught red-handed.
44: TWC3: Disapproving!Mulder! Woo hoo!
45. Scully is taking this "flouting orders" thing a bit too seriously. Doesn't she know she doesn't have to be Mulder anymore?
46. Mulder must be watching The Learning Channel too.
47. Aww, Skinner must have called Mulder to tattle on Scully. He just wants these two crazy kids to be happy!
48. Okay, he'll help Doggett. He does it all for you, Scully!
49. There are none so blind as those who've gotten Lizardman spit in their eyes.
50. Those were Mothmen, under the M's; this is a Lizardman, under the L's. ("Detour")
51. A light at the top of the tunnel.
52. TWC4: It's Mulder, P.I. (Paranormal Investigator). Have flashlight will travel.
53. MMM: Half blind, head injury, yet scaling the heights, brick by brick, to get out of this predicament. What a Manly Man!
54. Forty people looking and he finds something they don't; that's why he's Mulder, P.I.!
55. TWC5: Alvin Kersh never looked so good! Tee-hee-hee.
56. Agent or not, he still knows how to win friends and influence people.
57. Ouch! I'll bet Agent Doggett doesn't enjoy the footwear as much as I do.
58. "Mulder and Scully aren't here" ... truer words were never spoke.
59. Open your mind to extreme possibilities, Johnny. Big leaps are the mainstay of the X-Files.
60. And then I yelled AGENT DOGGETT! Gary has disappeared!
61. Looks like Mulder forgot to roll down the window the first few times he spit out those seeds.
62. GPM: Snappy repartee, arguing their sides ... oh how I've missed this good phone!
63. Regifting ... Scul-leeeee ... you got some 'splaining to do!
64. Oh, the old protease and collagenase trick! Pretty sneaky! Turning humans into Sip-Ups!
65. "Hang tough." The Manly Man Pep Talk.
66. It's now Gary Sacks of Lizard Chow.
67. Mulder can now ditch by phone.
68. TWC6: Running!Mulder! Lovely footwear!
69. The monster is Stites ... hey, get some clothes on! If we want to see anyone nekkid, it ain't you!
70. Well, technically, they're not your colleagues anymore, Mulder, but I'm sure they won't quibble.
71. A Leyla!Leap! You go, girl!
72. MMMM: "Aim at the sound of my voice." (That's a *Mulder* Manly Man Moment trusting a Blind!Doggett with a loaded gun!)
73. If you want to get out of New York alive, Agent Doggett, you'd *better* be careful where you're shooting!
74. Shouldn't Harrison and Doggett be in the hospital in New York? Okay, no nitpicking.
75. Ah, if *only* this were "it". I'd like to see what they learned at Lamaze practice.
76. Doggett on the X-Files ... Alone again, naturally.
77. Returning the medallion? Oh, Mulder, not you too! You'll do *anything* for that woman!
78. It is appropriate that Doggett suggests giving the medallion to Leyla, because it represents that the fans are an important part of the team too. "No one gets there alone," and "The X-Files" wouldn't have been successful without the dedicated fans.
79. I hope Mulder didn't claim the key chain on his expense report!
80. TWC7: Two words Johnny Fabulous.
81. Yeah, how about that Snow-Cat thing. Good question, Leyla! ("Fight the Future")
82. MSRM: The final few minutes of "Alone" make the whole episode worth the price of admission, IMBO. Leyla delights in getting a front-row seat for the banter that has been so sorely lacking since Mulder's return. This is the Mulder and Scully that we love, *finally* falling into the easy patter that is the trademark of their relationship. Mulder being Mulder, Scully being Scully, the partners being partners. This is a big reason why the real Leyla Harrison (and many others of us) loved the X-Files and it was so wonderful to have it back, even for just a few moments.
83. One good thing about watching these episodes again is that I always find something new in them, and "Alone" was no exception. In the past, I've been concentrating so hard on M&S in the final scene that I failed to hear the lovely Mark Snow score. A variation on the XF theme plays softly underneath the banter, underscoring perfectly the heart and soul of the X-Files. It's quite beautiful and makes me wish that Mark Snow would put together an album of all this wonderful instrumental music written in the series' later seasons.
84. "And you were frozen and I remember I hugged you until you weren't frozen anymore." With that one line I forgive Scully for her Doggett indiscretions and take back all the bad things I said about her.
85. Looking through that window, I think I heard Agent Doggett singing: I'll face the unknown, I'll build a world of my own; no one knows better than I, myself, I'm by myself ... alone.

Some of you might recall that when this episode was first listed on the Official Site, the name was given as "A Dream Whose Sleep," then changed to "Alone." "A dream whose sleep" is a line from a poem by e.e. cummings entitled "the great advantage of being alive." I think it's a shame they didn't use this title, cause I love the poem and I include it here because I think it is quite appropriate:

the great advantage of being alive (instead of undying) is not so much that mind no more can disprove than prove what heart may feel and soul may touch --the great (my darling) happens to be that love are in we, that love are in we

and here is a secret they never will share for whom create is less than have or one times one than when times where that we are in love, that we are in love: with us they've nothing times nothing to do (for love are in we am in i are in you)

this world (as timorous itsters all to call their cowardice quite agree) shall never discover our touch and feel --for love are in we are in love are in we; for you are and i am and we are (above and under all possible worlds) in love

a billion brains may coax undeath from fancied fact and spaceful time no heart can leap, no soul can breathe but by the sizeless truth of a dream whose sleep is the sky and the earth and the sea. For love are in you am in i are in we

Frankly at the end of this episode, I'd rather concentrate on who's together than who's alone. But we know the 1013 mindset it's all about Doggett. Well, fellas, "I'm betting Agent Doggett can take care of himself. He's a big boy." So I'm not really thinking about him. I'm thinking that the old chemistry is back and that wouldn't it be really cool if the remaining two episodes brought a wonderful ending to the story of Mulder and Scully. Hey, "I'm just thinking out loud."

"What the hell, I'm out of a job already, right?" Apologies to Brenda Lee, Marvin Hamlisch, Barbra Streisand, Eric Carmen, Tony Bennett, e. e. cummings, and of course, GARY!

In my hour of need, I truly am, indeed, alone again, naturally.

Polly (P.S. Better add apologies to Gilbert O'Sullivan too!)