Theatre of the Mind ~ Surekill

1. Hey, that X-Treme store across the street is ripping off our logo! Better get legal to issue a cease and desist.

2. Chill, buddy. Go in the police station where you'll be safe.

3. Or maybe not. Ewww. Haven't we already had enough blood and guts to last us an entire season?

4. TWC1: I'm pining for Falling!Mulder so much that I'm getting testy now. Mulder, Mulder in the sky, why'd you do that in my eye? Holy Flaming Cow.

5. TWC2: Scully is "back at work" in a big way. My, she just looks simply fabulous. She doesn't look pregnant (which she should, since I'm estimating she's in about her eighth month right now). But the green turtleneck ensemble (which makes me think of you-know-what and you-know-who) is splendid and of course I'm simply ga-ga over her poofy hair, after simply dreadful hair in Season 9 (MHO, of course!).

6. PSC1: If the Worcester Police pretty much know where the bullet was fired from, why did they call the FBI to begin with?

7. The Scully version of the Olympic Pencil Toss ... the Olympic Pencil Poke.

8. Ooooh, an X-File/CSI crossover!

9. Guess J.D. learned those Godfather tricks while he was on the Sopranos.

10. MMM: Although actions speak louder than words for Manly Men, not much macho action this week. So we'll just have to be reminded that Doggett is an ex-Marine and they say words like "ballsy."

11. Surekill Exterminations Well at least thanks for not making me have to figure out the title.

12. Ah, this must be the "little bitch" we've heard so much about.

13. PSC2: I know Dwight hasn't mentioned it yet, but if he's legally blind, how can he see the answering machine light blinking across the room? Too picky, I know.

14. Randall appears to be some kind of stalker. Doggett might want to take notes.

15. Rats! More rats! Good grief! They must've got a two-fer-one episode deal at Lariat Rats Rental.

16. Meat loaf. That reminds me ... I wonder if they're feeding Mulder well up on that spaceship?

17. Amazing Leaping Scully #1: Finding the Surekill Connection in less than one minute. She just knew.

18. Mulderism Shouldabeen: "You know, Elvis used to do this to his hotel rooms."

19. Well, everybody can't be Chris Rock.

20. I think we found our smoking finger.

21. At the end of this episode, "In Memorium, Gregory Nathan Boniface, 1970-2000" appears on screen. Boniface is Gangbanger #2 in this scene.

22. Seems like I hardly ever see Scully's eye without a Mulder in it lately. (wink, wink)

23. Scully decides to give those big words another try: electromagnetic spectrum.

24. "Wait, you're not saying this guy has X-ray vision?" Seems like only yesterday that Scully was uttering the skeptic's line.

25. I guess we know that Scully is still the *reluctant* believer since she gets to put emphasis on words like *remarking* and *conjecturing*.

26. PSC3: Hey! Only Mulder gets to lean in that close and only when he's saying "Oko-bo-gee."

27. Sulphuryl fluoride. I bet Doggett has been practicing that one all day.

28. I don't know about going to the bank, but I think Dwight wants to make a deposit.

29. Doggett Interruptus.

30. As Scully watched Tammi adjust her shirt, I could see in her eyes that she was thinking of Mulder and their many afternoons engaging in flagrante delicto in the basement office hoping that they remembered to lock the door.

31. I guess if you can just look at someone and know that they've done time, you *are* a pretty good cop.

32. Good thing Chase had to use his calling card to make that phone call instead of just inserting a quarter.

33. Wow, I am physically shaking right now just thinking of that menacing Dwight and his ominous torture device, the Evil Lighter of Doom!

34. Speaking of which, do you think the aliens still have Mulder strapped by his cheeks to that torturous dentist chair? Do you think that thing still has him by the nugs? Do you think they just keep sticking that thing up his nose and cutting his chest open?

35. Twins never *rat* each other out? One more pun and I pull out my gun.

36. What evil lurks in the hearts of men? The shadow knows. And he's outside your window.

37. Hey, Superman never used his x-ray vision that way!

38. Dwight seems unusually obsessed with Tammi's coffee making skills.

39. Doggett Interruptus Part Deux.

40. I would have expected a Manly Man to shoot the lock off the cash box.

41. I hope Scully's got decaf in that cup. High-test would be bad for Baby Mulder.

42. $700,000. That *is* a lot of dead rats. And yet I find myself wishing for the appearance of some killer kitty kats. Should I be worried about that?

43. Manly Man Exterminating: No Pesticides Used. We Squish Them With Our Shoes.

44. Amazing Leaping Scully #2: The realization that Randall can see through walls and read his brother's lips. She just knew.

45. TWC3: If I was looking as fine as Scully, I'd be a little disappointed that the man with the x-ray eyes wasn't trying to check out what color underwear I had on.

46. Scully adopts the old Interrogating!Mulder whispering technique.

47. They *exterminate vermin* ... I get it. It just pays better for some vermin.

48. Amazing Leaping Scully #3: Figuring out the romantic triangle even though there was no evidence of same. She just knew.

49. Amazing Leaping Scully #4: Figuring out that it's really a romantic rectangle. She just knew.

50. Three men, one woman. Trouble.

51. Randall probably doesn't need special powers to *see* that Tammi isn't coming back.

52. TWC4: Scully deserves a Holy Flaming Cow for the black turtleneck/long gray coat outfit. And best of all the hair is still poofy and looking fine. Mulder needs to get back and see this.

53. Speaking of Mulder, do you think *anyone* has gone back to his apartment to feed his fish since "Within"?

54. Scully has spent so much time leaping that now Doggett has to explain the good police work like the intricacies of packing vs. not packing if someone is after you (which Scully may want to retain for later) and the wondrous invention called Star 69.

55. Cradock Marine Bank seems to have branches everywhere, but it seems to have lost a "d" since "The Amazing Maleeni." I guess it's a member of F*IC too.

56. I think I would like to have seen the legally blind guy picking the car lock in broad daylight ... unless Tammi left the door open, and *that* wouldn't have been very smart, would it?

57. I am wondering what in the heck Dwight and Co. have done with all that dirty money? They sure don't seem to be spending it on clothes or cars or anything.

58. Time for the big showdown between the remaining three sides of the rectangle. Surely we can expect Doggett Interruptus one more time ...

59. No need. Randall does one last exterminating job as a freebie. Guests check in, but they don't check out.

60. TWC5: Reflecting!Scully still looking simply faboo. That gray coat is a definite keeper. After baby Mulder is born, that is.

61. PSC4: BTW, how's that pregnancy thing going? Any more morning sickness? Weren't you just in the hospital with severe abdominal pains? What was that all about just some bad sushi? Heard from your mom lately? How about Bill what does *he* think about all this? And Charlie? Does he even know where you live? And how about that guy Mulder (a/k/a Constant, Touchstone, Big Daddy)? Didn't you mention something about having to find him? How's that going? Any progress at all? Let me know, would you? Give me a call we'll do lunch.

62. PSC5: The Scully I used to know would have said, "Agent Doggett, you can call me Agent Scully or you can call me Dana or you can call me Hey You for that matter. But if you call me 'Agent' one more time, you will be peeing through a catheter ... baby."

63. I'm *sure* Tammi wouldn't be dumb enough to still head to Montana. Strike that.

64. I feel cheated somehow not hearing a SRE (Scully Rational Explanation) detailing how one twin got all the eyesight and thus the super powers, and the other got none. Unfortunately, the Doggett Rational Explanation (DRE) is that it's out of FBI territory.

65. MSRM: But I do like hearing a Scully Emotional Explanation (SEE) instead. Because it makes me believe that deep down she is thinking about someone very important to her own heart, someone to whom she once wrote these words: "That you should know my heart, look into it, finding there the memory and experience that belong to you, that are you, is a comfort to me now ..." And it makes me think that once she gets back to D.C., she'll stop by Mulder's place, feed his fish, slip into his bed, curl up with one of his shirts, and get some rest so she can face tomorrow fresh and ready to continue the search.

66. ACM: When TPTB at 1013 told me that Mulder would be the Absent Center in Season 8 little did I know how right they would be. This whole *episode* is an ACM because as I watched the story of the Exterminating Love Rectangle, all I could think about was Mulder. Congratulations, Chris. My hat is off to you. You are true to your word. You made me think about Mulder so much that I'm going to go pop in a DVD or a tape and watch some of his best work from Seasons 1 through 7. And the next time I have a little pest problem like "Surekill" bugging me, I'm calling the Orkin Man.

67. To put it mildly, "Stupid ain't cute."

I thought I might apologize, but I'm feeling a little ballsy. So no apologies for this one. The way I look at it, I'm just a regular Joe. Providing a public service.

Just call me Polly Joe