Title: The Railroad Recalibration (3/9)
Author: phantagrae
Rating: G
Summary: My idea of how Sheldon's train journey might have gone. A million thanks to my super beta, FoxPhile!
Feedback: Yes, please. phantagrae@earthlink.net
Author's Notes: A million thanks to my super beta, FoxPhile!
Chapter Three
In the morning, Sheldon was glad that he couldn't seem to remember what he'd dreamed about. He had a feeling he might have dreamed about Amy, but he didn't want to dwell on that. The motion of the train had rocked him into a deep sleep, like a baby in a cradle, and his dreams must have been lost in that depth. Even now, if it weren't for the bright morning light streaming in his window, he could have stayed forever in the cocoon of his bed. He was warm and comfortable, drowsy and calm.
But now he had to urinate, so he flipped the covers back and got up, missing his pajamas, robe, and slippers as he stepped into the tiny bathroom.
The train crossed the Nevada/Utah state line during the night, so he lost an hour while he was sleeping. He double-checked his watch and the clocks on his phone and laptop to make sure everything was synchronized, then ordered his breakfast.
As he ate, he made mental notes of the terrain, including when they crossed over into Colorado, then later pulled out his laptop to update his travel journal. He made a quick note on the entry for Saturday.
"Amy went to the movies with Penny, Bernadette, and Emily."
He stared at the blinking cursor for several minutes. Should he add any more personal thoughts? It's not as if anyone else would read this. Unless, of course, it might someday be included as part of his memoirs, or in a posthumous biography. Such things happened. In the end, he left the simple statement on its own and went back to updating today's entry.
He took advantage of good internet access at the regular station stops to find and book his hotel room in Denver and to look up information about activities in the Denver area. They apparently had a nice zoo, and it seemed like a pleasant way to spend a few hours.
As the countryside slipped by, Sheldon turned to working on his stalled appeal to the university. He hoped they could see reason, or that he could simplify his own language to the point that the simpletons on the board would finally grasp the importance of his research.
He took a break for lunch, then spent some time once again strolling through the train to stretch his legs and get a change of scenery. Before he knew it, they were approaching Denver and he returned to his room to pack up and get ready to disembark.
It was evening when the train arrived in Denver and Sheldon set about finding a taxi to take him directly to his hotel. After checking in, he went out to eat at a McDonald's he'd seen near the hotel. Though McDonald's wasn't where he usually ate, he was craving a bacon cheeseburger.
"Can I help you?" the pimply teenager behind the counter intoned, not sounding like he really wanted to help.
"Yes," Sheldon began. "I'd like a barbecue bacon cheeseburger, but I'd like the barbecue sauce, bacon, and cheese on the side, please."
The teenager stared at him. "Um, I don't think we can do that."
"Of course you can," Sheldon remarked. "You sell a barbecue bacon cheeseburger. Just put the ingredients I mentioned on the side."
"You want a barbecue bacon cheeseburger?"
Sheldon frowned at him.
"I just said that," Sheldon said in exasperation. "But I want the barbecue sauce, bacon, and cheese on the side."
"So you want a hamburger?"
"I want a barbecue bacon cheeseburger," Sheldon insisted, his voice rising in pitch and volume. "Maybe you should fetch your manager as you don't seem to be able to grasp simple serving instructions."
"Do you want fries and a drink with that?"
Sheldon stared at him.
A slightly older pimply teenager joined the first boy at the register.
"Is there a problem, sir?" the second boy asked, with a slightly more respectful tone.
"Yes," Sheldon grated. "I would like a barbecue bacon cheeseburger, but with the barbecue sauce, bacon, and cheese on the side. I would also like fries and a diet Coke." He could feel heat rising to the tips of his ears. "I trust that order is not too complicated for one of even your obviously limited education to comprehend."
The older boy pushed the younger one aside and began poking at the register, one eye on the obviously fuming patron before him.
"Yes, sir," he said quickly. "Right away, sir!" He moved off quickly and began to put the order together.
"That will be six dollars and sixty-eight cents, sir," the first boy droned.
Sheldon shoved his credit card at the boy.
The burger ultimately wasn't as satisfying as Sheldon hoped, as he sat in McDonald's on a plastic bench, chewing his food, trying to ignore the sports program that was yammering away on the TV behind him. The burger was something of a sloppy mess to put together exactly the way he wanted it, and the end result hardly seemed worth the effort.
He sighed and crumpled his napkin into a wad and tossed it onto the serving tray. He rose to empty his tray in the trash receptacle, then took his soda with him as he made his way back to his hotel, a sudden fatigue coming over him. He needed to call Amy and get ready for bed. He had plans for the morning and had to get an early start, and he still needed to do his laundry.
Once up in his room he washed his stubbly face and stared at himself in the mirror for a moment. He definitely looked different with a bit of a beard. Would Amy approve? Probably. Maybe. He wasn't sure. But he was keeping it for now.
It was a change, but one that he could control. If he decided he hated it, he could shave it off whenever he wanted. No one could make him shave or not shave. He could control this aspect of his life.
He brushed his teeth and set his things in order for the morning, found his phone and sat on the edge of the bed to call Amy.
The phone rang several times then went to voice mail. Sheldon frowned as he listened to Amy's recorded voice.
"You have reached Amy Farrah Fowler. I can't come to the phone right now. Please leave a message."
Where would she be at this hour on a Sunday evening? It was nearly eight o'clock in Pasadena.
At the tone he stammered out his message.
"Amy…Amy, where are you? I…I…I was just checking in. I'm in Denver. I…I guess I'll try you later. Goodbye." He ended the call and stared at his phone for a moment, then pressed a different speed dial button.
"Hey, Sheldon!" Leonard answered brightly. "How ya doin', buddy?"
"Hello, Leonard," Sheldon replied distractedly. "I'm fine. Do you know where Amy is? I got her voice mail."
"Yeah, she's here," Leonard said. "I guess she turned her phone off. Do you want to talk to her?"
"What's she doing there? Is there a party going on? I hear music," Sheldon went on, his brow furrowing.
"We're having a little get together for Emily," Leonard explained. "She and Raj seem to really be hitting it off and Amy suggested we invite her over so she could get to know everyone a little better."
"I see…" Sheldon didn't know what to think. He didn't like parties, and he was glad he wasn't being subjected to this one, even though he thought that in his brief encounter with her, Emily seemed like a nice enough person. Still, he found himself feeling…feeling something. He wasn't sure what. Jealousy? Not quite. Loneliness? Not quite. Like an outsider? He'd been an outsider all his life.
"Do you want me to get Amy?" Leonard prompted.
"No…No…" Sheldon said distractedly. "I don't want to take her away from the party. Just tell her I called and that I'm in Denver and that I'm fine. I'll call her tomorrow night, I guess."
"Okay, buddy, if that's what you want," Leonard answered gently. "I'll let her know you called."
"Thanks, Leonard," Sheldon replied sincerely. "Say hi to everyone for me. Goodnight."
"I will, Sheldon," Leonard answered. "Goodnight."
Sheldon ended the call and tossed his phone on the bed.
He sat still for several minutes, picturing Amy moving around the living room in his apartment, talking to Penny and Emily and all the others. Drinking wine, laughing, enjoying herself. Without him.
He turned on the TV while he plugged his phone and laptop into their chargers, then called the front desk to set up his wake-up call for the morning. He finished getting ready for bed, then got under the covers and stared at the TV with disinterest.
Amy was having fun. Without him. It wasn't that he expected her to be sad or to stay home alone. It was just…he wanted to be having fun with her. Even at a stupid party.
He turned off the TV and the bedside lamp and closed his eyes, still picturing Amy at the party.
In the morning, Sheldon rose early, showered, dressed and made some phone calls.
The University of Chicago and the University of Illinois at Urbana/Champagne both had strong physics departments. If he couldn't work things out with President Siebert and the board back home, he wanted to prepare for the possibility of moving to a different university program in order to pursue his newly chosen field of inflationary cosmology. He wasn't sure what kinds of grants might be available, but he knew that both these universities had been interested in him when he was an undergrad and had tried to recruit him away from CalTech at one time. Perhaps he could generate some leverage to be used with Siebert, or perhaps he could even find a position out in the Midwest.
There were many other issues involved in such a move, but Sheldon was determined not to think too far ahead at this point. For now, he was simply setting up an in-person meeting time for the University of Chicago and a Skype interview for the University of Illinois, since his train wouldn't go near that university until late at night.
With his appointments scheduled, he packed his things and went downstairs to eat a quick breakfast and check out of the hotel. Then he took a taxi back to the train station and arranged for a locker for his luggage until his departure time that evening.
With that taken care of, he rode the bus out to the Denver Zoo. He'd studied the zoo's website while on the train on Sunday and was sorely disappointed to learn that they had no koalas, but he had made notes as to which exhibits he would visit and planned to spend the majority of his time in the primate area.
It was fine and cool for a summer day and he enjoyed strolling through the exhibits, pointedly avoiding the reptile house, making mental notes and taking pictures of things he wanted to include in his journal and to share with Amy. Maybe he would email his observations to her tonight. Or save them to discuss with her in person.
As pleasant as the outing was, though, Amy's absence was keenly felt. She was the only one who enjoyed the zoo as much as he did and he missed their usual conversation about animal behavior.
He saved the primate exhibit for last and found a seat on a bench from which he could comfortably see most of the smaller monkeys. He chuckled at their antics at first and found himself about to say something out loud to Amy before remembering that she wasn't there. He was surprised at the sting of sudden tears. He glanced quickly around him before surreptitiously swiping at his eyes and nose.
Who cries in the monkey house? Pull yourself together, Cooper, he scolded himself.
But the monkeys were active and their behavior was the very sort of thing Amy would typically enjoy explaining to him.
Golly, he missed her.
He quickly wiped his eyes one more time and left the exhibit to find the snack bar, seeking solace in a late lunch. He purposefully avoided a repeat of last night's barbecue bacon cheeseburger debacle.
After a quick trip to the gift shop, he made his way back out to the bus stop and returned to the train station, hot, tired, and sadder than he wanted to admit. It was the first time he could remember being unhappy after a trip to the zoo.
When his evening departure time approached, he retrieved his luggage from the locker and stood impatiently on the platform. Denver hadn't been as pleasant a stay as he had hoped and he was eager to get back on the train.
Soon the train pulled into the station and Sheldon allowed himself the pleasures of his deep love of trains—the sound of the brakes, the clatter of the wheels and the lumbering sound of the sleek, powerful locomotive pulling past him.
He breathed deeply and prepared to board.
Once ensconced in his private room, he ordered dinner and settled in pulling out his phone.
The phone rang twice and then Amy spoke.
"Hello, Sheldon!" she said cheerily.
He inhaled sharply, surprised at how her voice cheered him.
"Hi, Amy," he said, a smile spreading across his face.
"Leonard told me you called last night," she continued. "I'm sorry I missed your call."
"Yes," Sheldon replied. "Leonard told me you all were having a party for Emily and that you'd turned off your phone."
"It wasn't off," Amy explained. "I was expecting to hear from you, so I left it on, but the music was kind of loud and we were playing some games, so I guess I just didn't hear it ring."
"Oh," Sheldon said simply. "Um…how was the party?" He didn't really care, but he had suddenly forgotten whatever he had intended to say to her.
"It was nice," Amy continued. "She's a very nice girl and she and I have a lot in common. She's very sweet to Rajesh and she seemed to get along with everyone. I think she's going to fit in nicely with our group."
"I see," he replied, not caring exactly what she said, but just happy to hear her voice.
"Are you okay?" she suddenly asked. "You're very quiet."
"Um…I'm fine," he answered. "I'm a little tired. I went to the zoo this morning."
"Oh, how nice," she replied pleasantly. "Did you have fun?"
"A little," he said a little more brightly. "Unfortunately, they did not have any koalas, but I did spend some time in the primate area. I think you would have enjoyed it."
"I'm sure I would have. I'm sorry about the koalas, though."
"I missed having you there to tell me about the monkeys," he said shyly.
Amy was silent for a moment.
"I missed you last night," she said quietly.
They said nothing for a moment, but listened to each other's presence.
The train began to move, breaking the spell. There was a knock at his door.
Sheldon took a deep breath.
"Amy, the train is leaving and my dinner is here. I'm afraid I have to go," he said, rising to open the door for the attendant.
"Okay," Amy replied with a sigh. "Have a good night."
"Good night, Amy," he said. "I'll call you tomorrow."
He ended the call, then sat down to eat his dinner alone.
Continued in Chapter Four