Exit Wounds (1/4)
by IfMulderCouldSeeMeNow

Email: Ifmuldercouldseemenow@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13

Summary:  Set directly after IWTB. Mulder has just begun to
re-establish himself after exoneration when he notices that
Scully is having nightmares, and not sleeping. What's going on
with her and will they ever be able to heal the wounds that
losing William left, especially when another force is
intervening.

Story titles Inspired by 'Exit Wounds' by The Script


Chapter One
Entry Point

Residence of Fox Mulder and Dana Scully 
March 21st, 2008 
2:30 am 

Her breath came out ragged as she gasped. Her eyes widened in
the darkness of the room, as she quickly tried to slow her
breathing. She lifted up the cover carefully and slid her legs
over the side of the bed retrieving her slippers and making her
way to the bathroom.

The water hit her face relentlessly, snapping her out of her
dream-induced fog. Drying her face with a washcloth she
examined her face in the mirror. Really, she looked dreadful.
She hadn't had a full-night's sleep in days. She had to remind
herself that it was just a dream- it couldn't be anything else.
Creeping back to the bed, she shifted under the covers, her
body turned away from him.

"You alright, Scully?" He asked, his voice gruff from sleep.

"I'm fine." She responded hating that for a brief moment there
was a shake in her voice. He would know now. Suddenly he
was wide awake.

"You had the dream again, didn't you?" She nodded in
response and found his arms quickly around her body, pulling
her closer to him. He laid behind her, folded her in his arms.
He spoke softly into her hair "Can you tell me about it
tonight?"

"It was about hi-*William.* He was asking-." Her brow knotted
and she was happy that their room was shrouded in darkness.
She knew he could feel her body tense, but she would hold
onto the tread of dignity she had left. She wouldn't cry over a
dream, it was downright childish. "He was asking me why I
gave him up and-and I couldn't tell him." A sob almost escaped
her throat but she held it at bay. "He was crying for me and I
couldn't make him stop." Finally the tears started slipping
silently from her eyes as her shoulders shook slightly. He
tightened his grasp around her, bringing his hand to interlock
with hers. "I miss him so much, Mulder."

"I miss him too." He held her until she finally succumbed to
sleep. Her breathing finally lost its shake and he released his
hold. In fact, she hadn't woke him up at all...William had. As
he unraveled from her he looked into the darkness of what
would be their ceiling. His mind was made up. He had to find
him.


Residence of Fox Mulder and Dana Scully 
March 21st 2008 
1:00 pm 

"Mulder, we got mail." She called from their kitchen, pulling
her overcoat off and lying the groceries on the table. She had to
be at the hospital in a few hours the dreaded nightshift.
Honestly she was feeling exhausted, but she couldn't call out.
Not when young Christian was making so much improvement.
She hadn't had a full night of sleep in weeks, but having
Mulder next to her seemed to ease the dreams a little most of
the times. Unfortunately last night she was plagued, but mail
certainly made the day better. 6 years with no mail was a long
time and now that he was no longer considered a fugitive, the
letters had begun to arrive. She had enjoyed getting mail ever
since she was little and she quickly placed the few letters on the
table, distracted by the manila folder. Fingering the thick
envelope in her fingers, she took off her shoes and began to pad
to her partner's office. Turning it over, she noticed the tell-tale
sign of the FBI on the envelope. Her eyebrow arched slightly.
FBI mail wouldn't be alarming, considering that Mulder had
begun to consult occasionally. Still, it was odd to receive mail.
She pulled the sheets from the envelope.

Ah, it made sense. It was Mulder's official exoneration
paperwork. It was about time, to be honest. He turned around in
his desk chair as she begun to open it. Just as her eyes scanned
over the top of the letter he turned around in his chair.

"What'd we get this time Scully, pizza fliers?" His face
suddenly dropped as he noticed the manila envelope.
 Department of Records?' her voice came out in a questioning
whisper as her head tilted to the side. It was too late now.
Scanning over the prestige paper of the records department she
found what she was looking for.
                     
William Fox Mulder: No Records Found
                     
"How long, Mulder?" She asked softly, but he could hear the
anger in her voice. He knew that now was not the time to play
coy, but he did anyway, hoping it would help smooth matters
over.

"How long what, Scully?" He said, rising from the chair and
over her small frame. She pushed the papers into his chest and
craned her neck upward to look him in the eyes.

"How long were you going to keep this hidden from me? You
made this decision-and he- You never even asked me what I
thought!" She shouted, her voice shrill. He knew he should
explain to her, make her see that he had taken precautions and
was only trying to make them happy. He knew she had just as
much to miss as he did- that she was hurting too, was
constantly worried for the safety of their son. He knew all these
things and yet he couldn't stop the words from tumbling out of
his mouth.

"That's right, you make all of the decisions, don't you?" He
said sarcastically, angry at her for yelling at him. Her eyes
widened and shook in their sockets for a brief moment before
they became narrow and hard. He instantly regretted his words,
and reached for her arm as she turned, catching her bicep
firmly: "Scully, I didn't-"

"I have to get to work." She said coldly, shaking her arm from
his grasp and leaving his office.


Our Lady of Sorrows Hospital 
2:17 pm 

She reached the hospital in remarkable speed, which could be
attributed more to her speeding instead of the lack of traffic. 
She expected to have the joy of opening one of those tickets 
from the state soon enough. Her heels clicked through the pristine 
floors of the office and she ignored the stares from the people 
who knew her shift didn't start for another 3 hours. It was easy, 
just like from her days in the FBI. The title of  Ice Queen' seemed 
to follow her here as well, and that was fine; it was better they 
think of her as cold than as weak. Reaching the solace of her 
office, she turned quickly and locked the door. She wanted to 
find the person who invented locks, and blinds for that matter, 
and kiss them. 1 message blinked on the office answering machine 
and while her brain told her not to push it, she did anyway.

"Listen Scully, I-..." The voice began sounding obviously
pained. She moved fast as lighting, swiping at the phone which
fell to the floor, scattering the pens and pencils over her desk.
"I just wanted to say that I didn't mean it." When the phone
didn't stop the message, she crossed the room to continue her
attack. Picking the offending object up, the message continued:
"I love you."Her arm cocked back, ready to chuck the phone to
the other side of the earth "I'm sorry, I just miss him." The
message stopped and the phone dropped from her grasp,
making a clattering noise that she didn't hear. She slid to the
ground, burying her head in her hands.

"No, Mulder...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry." She spoke quietly
through strangled sobs as her shoulders shook.

After minutes that seemed like hours, she glanced at the clock,
realizing there was still about 2 hours before her shift began.
She might as well start now; get her mind off of everything.
She wiped her eyes and made her way to the locker room,
ignoring the headache pressing against her temples.

How childish you nearly destroyed your office. How old are
you?' Her conscious spoke, reprimanding her.  You knew the
consequences of giving him up, just suck it up. He's better off
with a mother, a real one. Did you really think Mulder would
forgive you so easily?' 


Residence of Fox Mulder and Dana Scully 
March 22nd 2008 
2:00pm 

It had been a month and a half since he officially came out of
hiding and he had found nothing. When Skinner had said that
Scully made sure there were no records to track William he
wasn't lying. There was literally nothing on his son. Had Scully
ever looked herself? He briefly thought of the lone gunman,
knowing that they would find something, somewhere. A speck,
a hair- they would find him that much he knew for sure. He
reached up to run his hand through his hair and cringed. His
head still stung from the nearly healed gash, just a scratch now.
He wasn't as young as he used to be, and neither was she. He
wished he could give her the life she deserved; One with PTA
meetings and Halloween costumes; PP & J and kissing boo
boos. A life with Chocolate Chip Pancakes, specially made on
Saturdays and  you can play outside with Dad after you finish
your homework.'  Dad.' Not Mulder, not Fox, not Spooky:
Dad. And she'd be Mom, iron-fisted but kind mom who would
snap at him in an instant for breaking curfew while he asked
him about the girl he went to go see. Mulder laughed
sardonically. He had hoped the dreams had finally stopped for
her but he knew he was just believing the lie; she'd always
been good at hiding her feelings, and she was always one to
adapt. She'd just gotten better at hiding her restlessness, and it
couldn't help that they rarely saw each other since their
vacation immediately after Christian's first surgery. She was
writing journal articles and consulting on cases, while taking
care of her young patient while he was immersed in the end of
the Universe and a possible book Scully encouraged him to
write. He suspected she'd been sleeping less and less and He
knew that they had in fact been keeping her from a full-night's
rest for a while now; it showed in her joints and the bags under
her eyes. She was running herself ragged; trying to save every
child she came across and it was killing her. He threaded his
fingers together, remembering the brief apology-call he'd
telephoned earlier. She didn't need that from him; she didn't
deserve it. She was working a double shift today and in fact, he
checked his watch, she would be getting off in roughly 2 hours.
Maybe he could drop-in? Take a cab and drive her home after
taking her out to dinner. After all, she'd been at the hospital for
nearly 24 hours. She'd acquired the weekend off after his
insistence, so he had plenty of time to make it up to her. 


Our Lady Of Sorrows Hospital 
March 22nd 2008 
3:00 pm 

"Dr. Scully, are you alright?" The young resident asked as
Dana Scully pulled on her lab coat, after sleeping roughly 2
hours on her desk. She'd worked right through the day and
night, drowning out any thought of Mulder and her attack on
her office. She just had to get through these last few hours and
then she would go home and face Mulder; apologize for
overreacting. Once, she'd prided herself on stoicism and now it
seemed she had a meltdown at the drop of a hat. Drawn out of
her trance her eyes found the bright girl, Amanda if her
memory served her right. She felt her lips tug to a slight smile.
The girl really was sweet as pie and whip smart at that.

"Fine, Amanda. Thanks for asking," She said, despite the
splitting headache and buzzing sound in her head.

*'I want to come home.'* A small voice said, forcing Scully to
spin on her heels.

"What?" She asked the young student desperately, her eyes
searching Amanda's. A blush rose on Amanda's cheeks and
she timidly responded, fearing Scully's response.

"I was just saying that I can't wait to go home." Scully looked
down dejectedly before responding.

"Oh  Me either."

Closing the door to the locker room she began to walk through
the long corridor, the lights suddenly terribly bright, like an
interrogation room.

*'Why did you give me up,'* the little boy's voice questioned,
echoing in her ears.

She stopped abruptly in the empty hallway, bracing herself
against the wall. The fatigue was finally catching up. She
wasn't as young as she used to be neither was he. She wished
she could give him what he wanted: A child to take to baseball
games, to teach basketball to. A tiny mitt to accompany his
larger one and baseballs covered in dirt and mud; camping and
tree houses, star-gazing and the  mommy doesn't have cooties'
talk. Her eyes closed, trying to send her focus from the splitting
headache.  Mommy' to his  Daddy.' She reached into her
pocket for the bottle of aleve only to feel newsprint under her
fingers. She slipped the paper out and unfolded it, her head still
pounding. 

There, her son stared back at her through newsprint, Mulder's
nose evident in the black and white picture. Her son. Her son.
Who left this for her? Why? Her eyes shifted from the picture
of the smiling boy with a missing tooth and up to the news
heading and she felt bile immediately rise.

7 year old Boy killed 6 months after parent's death. Police
suspect foul play.'

The room was spinning. The humming noise was reverberating
through her skull.

*'What did I do wrong, Mommy?'* 

Her chest was heaving and yet she couldn't seem to fill her
lungs with air. She stumbled to the nearby wall in an attempt to
hold herself up. She had to get to her office, to the phone and
call Mulder. Mulder. Mulder. Mulder. Her tears blurred her
vision and her head burned beyond comprehension.

*'They hurt me, Mommy'*

Her eyes rolled back into her head and her body began to shake.
She dropped to the unforgiving white tiles with a sickening
crash, her body convulsing as she gripped the newsprint tightly
in her hand.
               
"Dr. Scully!"