Hole in the Black
by PD

ARCHIVAL:  Gossamer, no thanks. Stories will be housed at 
my site only. If you'd like to link, I'd love it, but 
please drop me note with a heads up.

DISCLAIMER:  Can I borrow the keys to the franchise, Chris? 
I won't go to any FBI balls, I promise to make a full stop 
at most clichés‚ and I will try not to dangle my 
participles at the nice couple in the unremarkable house.

CLASSIFICATION: SRA, MSR, IWTB, TMI, ASAP

RATING:  R

SPOILERS:  Through The X Files: I Want To Believe

SUMMARY:  "I wasn't in the group, Mr. Mulder. I was a 
tangential part of the project - in league with those few 
who were adamant on the subject of developing an antidote 
and a vaccine. He was our man on the inside, but we were 
not on the side of complicity with the colonists and that 
meant we were on the outside. Fringe element. We were not 
highly regarded. We weren't even invited to the group 
barbecues." He caught himself and smiled. "Ah. No pun 
intended."


~ Chapter 19 ~
 
When they crossed the state line into Wyoming, Mulder 
announced that they were only about an hour away. After 
nearly eight hours on the road, he had hoped that it would 
be welcome news, but as soon as it left his mouth, he felt 
the phantom pain of separation. Anticipating a dreaded 
event was inevitably worse than the event itself.

"Do you think you'll stay for dinner when we get home?" 
William asked, effectively bursting the bubble of silence 
that had enveloped them.

"Oh, I don't know, William," Scully said. "It will be late 
and - your mother and father will want to spend time with 
you." That felt terribly feeble to Scully, but she thought 
it would be best to break away clean. She learned this from 
her father and mother every time her father was to ship 
out. Don't linger over the goodbyes. It only makes it 
harder.

After another five minutes of silence, he asked, "Can I 
come visit you?"

Mulder and Scully traded glances. Mulder found William 
looking at him in the rearview mirror, and he smiled. "I 
hope so, William."

"Mulder," Scully whispered.

"I do," he said. "Don't you hope so, too? Why is that wrong 
to say?"

"Oh, it's not. And of course, I do," she said and sighed. 
She turned in her seat and looked back at William. "Of 
course, I do. But hope -" she started and reached for his 
hand. "I don't want to get any of our hopes up."

William shrugged. "I'd rather hope than think it won't 
happen at all," he said. "Even if it doesn't."

Scully smiled and reached out to brush his hair out of his 
face. She nodded, resigned to suffer with the hope along 
with her son. "Me, too."

~:~:~

7:00 pm
Rock Canyon, Wyoming

It was dark, but William recognized the turn off highway 
191 immediately. "It's right up here," he said. "Turn 
right. Right here."

Scully's heart began thudding uncomfortably in her chest 
and her stomach tightened. Knowing she would be leaving 
William behind coupled with meeting the people she had 
entrusted to care for him for the rest of his life - she'd 
never been more nervous in her life. 

William continued to give them directions, "lefty here," he 
said, and "right here," until they found themselves on a 
long, bumpy dirt driveway and closing in on a large house, 
though it was not the stereotypical farmhouse that Scully 
assumed it would be. 

In fact, the property was not what she imagined at all. The 
Van de Kamp home was well-lit from within which made it 
look homey and inviting. She had imagined a plain and 
weathered dwelling, fences surrounding the obligatory 
chickens and cows on a flat, brown countryside. 

Instead, the full moon and the outside lighting afforded 
quite a good view of the house and the surrounding property 
which was beautiful and green, surrounded by trees and 
nestled in rolling hills. In that, at least one of Scully's 
many concerns was thus eliminated. He certainly didn't live 
in squalor.

"Mulder," Scully whispered. "Pull up slow."

Mulder nodded as the Jeep rolled slowly around the drive 
toward the house, the tires crunching on the gravelly dirt 
below. They watched as the porch light came on and the 
front door swung open. William's parents stepped into the 
chilly April evening. 

Scully thought they looked relatively young - at least from 
this distance. Probably close to their own age. The Jeep 
finally rolled to a stop about twenty feet from them. When 
Mulder cut the engine, all they could hear was the sound of 
their own breathing, the engine ticking and the faintest 
chirp of crickets outside. 

They sat in the dark, in the silence, and waited for 
someone to make the first move and though it was only a 
matter of seconds, it felt like an eternity before William 
suddenly bolted from the car and ran, joyous, into the arms 
of his parents.

"I missed you," they heard William say, and "we missed you, 
too, Will, oh, why did you run off again without saying 
something," and they loved him and he loved them and it was 
all fine again. All fine.

Mulder and Scully sat holding hands in the car, unsure of 
their place. They each mirrored the other's posture - heads 
down, staring at their knees. No answers there.

"Dana?" They heard William's voice muffled through the 
closed car doors. 

Mulder and Scully pulled themselves together and stepped 
out of the car. Scully's mind tried to form simile out of 
the situation as they walked, but there was nothing 
analogous to it. *Meeting my baby boy's adopted mother and 
father is like...*

Nothing.

Her mouth formed the best smile it could under the 
circumstances as they approached. Mulder was the first to 
stick out his hand, but William was the first to break the 
silence. 

"Mom, Dad. This is my real mother and father."

Scully saw the flicker of pain in the other woman's eyes as 
she shook her hand and smiled. Scully gave all of them 
credit for just letting it go. William didn't mean for his 
words to hurt and couldn't possibly have understood if they 
had shown it.

"It's - it's nice to meet you," Scully said. "Dana Scully," 
she said and shook the man's hand, as well. "And this is 
Fox Mulder."

"Brett Van de Kamp," William's father said. "This is my 
wife Sarah."

The four of them looked down at William who was delighted 
over the entire scene. Their discomfort did not register 
with him and they were all happy about that. 

"You've had a long drive," Brett said. "Would you, um, like 
to come in? Have some dinner? Have a drink."

Mulder looked to Scully and found her shaking her head and 
smiling. He turned back to the couple in front of him. 
"Thank you, but, I think we'd probably better go." He 
looked down at William. They shared a long moment and 
smile. Mulder looked back to the Van de Kamps. "We'd like 
to say goodbye to William, if that's all right. He probably 
has a lot to tell you, but if we could just say goodbye, 
we'll - let you get back to - " Mulder just stopped 
talking, not really sure what words were coming out of his 
mouth.

"Of - yes, hon? Yes, of course you can," he said and took 
his wife's hand. "We'll be inside, Will. Okay?" William 
nodded and Brett looked back to Mulder and Scully. "It was - " 
Obviously, Mr. Van de Kamp was not certain what "it" was 
exactly. He smiled and nodded at Mulder. "Drive safely." 

The couple turned and walked back inside the house. The man 
didn't look back. The woman never stopped looking back 
until she was inside and the door had closed.

Mulder and Scully knelt down in front of William and took a 
hand each.

"I don't know, William," Mulder started. "This is harder 
than I - I knew this would be hard."

"But not this hard?" William said. "I know."

The first tear started and soon, they were all damp. It was 
joyful and heartbreaking at the same time. They held each 
other and murmured as many goodbyes as they could think of 
without really saying goodbye.

"Promise me something," Scully said as she wiped her eyes. 
"Don't ever just leave here again - not without help. If 
you need to go again, like you did this time, tell your 
parents. Or call us. And we'll help you. Please don't ever 
go alone, again. Okay?"

"Okay," he said wiping his running nose on his sleeve. "Can 
I come see you? Please?"

"We'll find a way," Mulder said. "I promise. We promise." 
He turned to Scully. "Don't we?"

Scully nodded. "Promise," she said. Scully looked up and 
saw Sarah Van de Kamp's face peering surreptitiously 
through the screen door. "You'd better go inside," she 
said. "And we better go."

She pulled him to her again and squeezed. Once again, she 
was hugging her son goodbye, entrusting him to others, 
never knowing if she would see him again. She started to 
pull away before she broke down completely, but William 
held on, pulled her back, wouldn't let go. Mulder wrapped 
his arms around the both of them. "Come on, Scully," he 
said after a moment. "Let's go."

Scully pulled away and William launched himself into 
Mulder's arms. "We didn't get a catch," William said. "Next 
time?" he asked, his little voice muffled against Mulder's 
shoulder.

"Next time."

They held each other until William, finally let him go. He 
took two steps back, sniffled and turned away. He gave them 
a smile just before he disappeared inside his house.

They supported each other as they walked back to the Jeep, 
got in and started to drive away. They hadn't moved ten 
feet when Mulder suddenly stopped the car, got out and 
rummaged in the back. He ran to the porch and left 
William's bag of new jeans, his Navajo blankets and his 
baseball glove by the front door.