Renewal by Bugmouthga E-MAIL: bugmouthga@yahoo.com RATING: R CATEGORIES: Story KEYWORDS: Mulder/Scully romance, post-series SPOILERS: The X-Files: I Want to Believe (The X-Files movie 2) SUMMARY: Mulder and Scully go on vacation, trying to stave off the darkness for a little while. Disclaimer: X-Files characters belong to FOX Corporation and 1013. Author's Notes: I know IWTB wasn't everyone's cup of tea, but I thoroughly enjoyed it and hope that you will enjoy my little follow-up of them going on that vacation, as well. Please email me and let me know what you thought. * * * Scully sniffed the salty air of the sea and smiled. The smell of the ocean, the feel of the breeze in her hair, the misty air caressing her face with invisible fingers... these sensations brought forth memories from her childhood. She could remember summer days on a sailboat with Ahab, fishing or sometimes just day dreaming and looking at the clouds. Sometimes, when she was especially well behaved, the old man would allow her to steer the rudder- always a special treat. Of course, in the here and now, where her heart belonged, she was in a row boat, not a sailboat, had no intention of going fishing, and the shirtless hunk exerting himself with the rowing was certainly not her old man. Watching the only other occupant of the small boat continue to huff and puff as he rowed further out into the forever churning waters of blue, Scully couldn't help but to marvel at the sinewy muscles flex beneath the smooth, tan skin. His movement momentarily mesmerized her. This man used to be a swimmer, and although the past five years had given him less opportunity for a regular exercise routine, his tall, lanky frame was just as beautiful to her now as it had always been. It was true, she was enjoying herself just watching his body move like the well-oiled machine it was. She wasn't sure if it was the atmosphere, or just her giddy mood, but another memory made itself clear from the murky depths of her child's mind, and, still smiling, she closed her eyes and held her arms out, fingers outstretched, feeling the wind catch in her hand. She chuckled quietly at the silliness of her movement, and also at the joy such a simple action evoked. "What are you doing, Scully?" Mulder asked, wearing a bemused expression on his face, beads of sweat and salty-sea kisses clinging to his brow. He had always thought her to be beautiful, but this went beyond beauty- she looked... serene; a look he did not see upon her lovely face often enough. "I'm... holding hands with the wind," she murmured, opening one eye to see him smiling at her. "I... it's silly; just a kid thing." "No, it's wonderful, Scully," he assured her. "You look... happy, and beautiful. How do you do it? I want to hold hands with the wind, too." Scully shrugged, feeling a little bit self-conscious, although she knew she needn't be. She and Mulder had gotten well passed the stage of being embarrassed in front of each other anymore. Not after living together, in near seclusion for over half a decade. Still, this was something right out of the six-year-old Dana Scully repertoire, so it made her almost feel like one. Taking the oars from him, halting him in his pace, she reached out and took his arms, her hands slowly caressing the expanse of skin until she reached his hands. She entwined her fingers with him briefly, before silently urging him to spread his fingers as he had seen her do before. Then she lifted his arms into the sea breeze. "Can you feel it?" she asked, almost shyly. "It's kind of like..." "Yeah, a resistance," he said, completely in tune with her. "Feels like a hand in mine. I get it- holding hands with the wind. That's pretty cool, Scully." She averted her gaze. "Uh-huh." "No, really," he promised, "it's... almost ethereal... like an X-Fi-" "Don't say it," she warned, her tone light and happy, but she meant business. She didn't want to talk about X- Files, or the possibility of their future involvement with any more- not right now. Today, here, they lived in the moment, this moment. She only wanted it to be about the sea, and happy childhood memories, and being with the man she loved. Nothing else. Not today- they were firmly keeping the darkness at bay... at least for now. "Sorry," he apologized with the utmost sincerity. He caressed her face once, before picking up the oars and resuming the rowing. She smiled, acknowledging and accepting his apology, then went back to the important task of marveling at the beautiful man exerting himself on the other side of the boat. She hadn't noticed before, but he did seem a little green around the gills, even as he concentrated on rowing against the tide. "Now, there is another side to this island, right?" he asked, and she realized his effort was making him slightly breathless. The sounds he made reminded her a little of his afterglow noises, but in light of his efforts today just getting them to their destination, it was more cause for her concern. She made no mention of it- yet. Instead, she answered, "Well, that's what the guy at the boat rental counter said, Mulder." "Maybe he was just telling you what you wanted to hear," he muttered. "And why would he do that?" "Because," Mulder went on, a look of slight jealousy crossing over his features, "he was too distracted by a hot woman in a bikini." Instead of taking the bait, Scully decided to rise above it, and put Mulder in his own corner, by going into doctor mode. "You know, if you're tired or feeling sick at all, I can take over with the rowing." "Please," he brushed her off, "don't insult my manly pride. I could row all day!" Scully said nothing, merely looked at him. He blew out a breath. "Nah, I'm okay, really," he assured her, knowing damn well that his big, bad caveman act was never going to go over on this woman. He could never hide a thing from her, not that he really wanted to anymore. "Seriously, I'm still good to go, and I'm only feeling slightly queasy." "You took the Dramamine I gave you?" "Yes, Mommy," he said, making a face at her, and was rewarded with a lap full of cold, ocean water. "Jesus, Scully!" he yelped. "Watch your aim! I'm planning on using that later today." And he winked at her. She gave him a knowing smile, but did not respond to his innuendo. "But if you really are tired, Mulder, I can-" "Scully, do you want to make love in this boat?" "I- what?" "Because I know that watching me row is turning you on," he stated matter of factly. "Mulder!" she shot in surprise, although there was no denying it. She was just shocked at how obvious she must have been. "So, it just goes to reason that watching you row would get me in the mood, too. And we both know you have better self-control than I do. So, if I watch you row, Scully, then you damn well better be prepared to rock the boat in an entirely different way if you catch my drift." He gave her a pointed look. Trying not to smile, she gestured to him. "So... row, then." He nodded. "And you may just sit back and relax. You know, sit way back, and don't forget to puff out that chest." "What is this? A Playboy photo shoot?" she snickered, reclining slightly, although not nearly enough for his tastes. Nor did she puff out her chest. "No, it's much better," he promised. "I'm just... enjoying the beautiful view. Very... inspirational, you know." His smile went from playful to lusty in a fraction of a second. Scully rolled her eyes. He was getting ahead of himself again. Her first intention, the moment they stepped onto dry land was to do one thing and one thing only: eat lunch. She was starved, having only had a half of bagel with light cream cheese as an early breakfast that morning. "Please, Mulder," she told him, trying to settle him down, "I'm wearing a bathing suit. You've seen me with a lot less on." "I've never seen you in a bikini before," he admitted. "So, it's a whole new way to admire your hot bod." He waggled his eyebrows at her, doing his best dirty-old-man impression. This only elicited laughter from her- not the reaction he'd been hoping for. "Oh, for crying out loud, Mulder, just row!" "Aye-aye, Captain," he leered at her, trying to row more vigorously. After a moment longer, he asked, "Where the hell is the other side of this island, anyway? Does it even have one?" She reached for the oars. "Come on, my turn now." He pulled them away from her. "No, you don't, Scully. This was my idea, remember? I wanted to spoil you, so just sit there and relax." "But if you're tired..." "So, I'm tired, and you're hot. We are what we are, Scully." A ladylike snort erupted from her. "Mulder!" "Scully..." "Fine, whatever, Mulder," she said with a haughty expression that he knew well and loved. "I just hope you don't get too tired. I mean, we're on the ocean in a small rowboat and there are sharks out here, ready and waiting..." Mulder laughed out loud. "Damn, Scully, you're trying to scare me, aren't you? Sharks? Bah! I've seen all four Jaws movies. I know what to do!" Her eyes danced. "Are you sure about that, Mulder? You're going to put our safety in the hands of the advice that four old movies- three of them really awful, by the way- gave you?" "I don't know," he protested, "Jaws 3 had its moments." "Oh, Mulder," she sighed. "Don't worry, Scully," he assured her, "the only thing that's going to be nibbling on you is me." Another lecherous expression clung to his handsome face. "Wow, but you are smooth," she teased him. "Damn straight, Scully," he concurred. "I'm planning on rocking your world as soon as we land this bird." "And after lunch," she reminded him. "I'm hungry." "I got something you could eat-" he started to say. "Mulder! Food first. Love second." "Sculleee," he whined at her, knowing full well how annoying it sounded. "Mulder..." Before their argument could continue, the small rowboat hit land, jarring them both in the process. "Ugh," Mulder said, rubbing his sore shoulder. "Nice going, Captain." "Hey, you're the navigator," she reminded him. Mulder stood up and stretched, then stepped out of the boat, grateful to be able to walk around and work out the kinks and cramps clinging to his cooped-up-for-too-long form. "I bet you saw the island a long time ago, and just didn't say anything, huh." "I was too busy looking at you," she informed him, throwing him a bone with her flirtatious stare. He grinned at her, then took her hand and helped her out of the boat. "Good answer." Scully retrieved the picnic basket and decidedly damp blanket from the rowboat's bottom, and set up the food on the secluded beach. Meanwhile, Mulder pulled their boat up further, keeping it a safe distance from the unpredictable and luring tide. They sat down upon the blanket together and enjoyed the cool breeze wafting through their hair as they dined on cold chicken sandwiches, fruit and cheese. A nice white wine was still chilled and accented the meal nicely. Glad to be able to just take their time, Mulder and Scully fed each other decadent chocolate covered strawberries and truffles for dessert. One taste of the truffles, and Mulder began wolfing them down like nobody's business. "Damn, these are tasty." She smirked at him. "Did you snort them out of the ground yourself?" "Are you implying that I'm making a pig of myself with the truffles, Dr. Scully?" he asked through a mouthful of food. "No, I wasn't implying." Mulder graciously swallowed the food in his mouth before sticking his tongue out at her. "Brat!" Scully raised her trademark eyebrow at him. "Brat?" she repeated in all innocence. Grinning like, well, a fox, Mulder said again, "Brat! You may be the best damn doctor at Our Lady of Sorrows- or anywhere- but you're still a world-class brat!" He smiled in triumph. She returned the grin, feeling equally triumphant. "Well, no one could ever accuse me of going half-way at something." As suddenly as a gale wind could sneak up on an unsuspecting sailboat on a calm sea, Mulder's face grew serious, almost sad. "You mean that, right?" "Of course," she replied, unsure what to make of his sudden change in demeanor. But it looked like stormy skies looming overhead. "Mulder...?" His hazel eyes looked dark when he murmured, "Well, you had me kind of scared for a little while... while I was- while we were on the case." This was something that had been building up inside of him for a couple of weeks now and it had festered beneath the festivities of their vacation, but was still strong enough to push its way to the surface of their good time. Scully instantly realized what he was speaking of. It had been something that was still hurting inside of her as well, an infection that still hadn't quite cleared, needed to be cleansed out of her system. But vacations were meant to be a time of renewal. Perhaps it was best to get this out in the open now and talk it through. They were long past denying anything; they were two, grown-up people who lived and loved together. They were mature as human beings individually and as a couple, and they both realized the importance of communication and honesty. The only thing they held in higher regard was trust. Tears glistened in her soft, blue eyes. "Mulder, I- I'm so sorry that I scared you, and that I've hurt you. I didn't want to- I just..." "Shh, Scully," he whispered soothingly, harboring no anger in his demeanor. He smiled reassuringly at her. In spite of the fact that her hair was much longer now and was usually kept in place by a pretty but sensible pony tail, a few strands would come loose now and then to curl around the curve of her lovely face. Mulder spied one such loose tendril even now, and he affectionately reached for it, tucking it gently behind her ear. As always, the gesture reminded him of the old days, back when the occasional hair-tuck was one of only a few ways he'd been allowed to touch her or offer her any comfort. Since then, they had become intimate on all levels- both emotionally and physically- but sometimes it could be the simplest touch of all that said the most. "Scully," he told her, stroking her porcelain-fine skin, "I didn't bring this up to elicit an apology from you- or to make you feel guilty. I just... well, we haven't really discussed this much in length, since it all happened, and I thought we should maybe... clear the air, or something." "Of course," she readily agreed, reaching up to touch the hand that was so tenderly caressing her face. "And Mulder, please just let me say that I'm sorry-" "No, no apologies, Scully," he interrupted. "All I want is, really, just... a promise, maybe?" "A promise of what?" she whispered, her voice nearly swept away by the island breeze. She shivered involuntarily. Mulder rubbed his hands up and down her bare arms, trying to warm her goose-pimpled flesh. "That you'll never leave me- for real. That if I ever act like a complete ass again- and I'm sure that I will- you'll tell me. If I'm too stubborn to listen or understand you, then by all means, punish me. But... just don't... leave." Silken rain fell not from the sky, but the cloudy, blue eyes of Dr. Scully. She could have gone on and on about how badly she felt over walking out on him during that difficult foray back into the world of the FBI. She could have tried to explain her reasons to him for having done so, trying to convince him of her fears during that turbulent time. She could have said or done any of those things. But she knew she didn't have to. He already knew. So all that came out of her mouth was, "I promise, Mulder." He smiled then, blowing out a breath of relief into her face. She could smell the chocolate on his breath, as well as a hint of the sunflower seeds he'd had earlier that morning. "Thank you," he said. Scully returned the smile. She was about to speak, but before she knew what was happening, Mulder had her on her back, and he hovered over her enticingly. "Jesus, Mulder!" she gasped in surprise. "A little warning would have been nice!" "Where's the fun in that?" he challenged her, leaning down and playfully biting her neck. "Ow! I swear, Mulder, even foreplay is a dangerous thing with you!" "Not too dangerous, though," he vowed, leaning down again, this time to kiss her, his tone and actions much more tender now. Dana Scully quickly took to the change of pace. This was more her style. She caressed the long, lean body on top of her with her well-manicured fingernails. "Love you," she murmured sweetly. "Love you, Scully, always," he replied, his voice as thick as honey. He stopped kissing her for a moment, just gazing curiously into her beautiful, aroused face. "Scully?" he asked tentatively. "It's all right, Mulder," she assured him, tugging his hard form down upon her until she was pleasantly squished beneath his weight, "We can skip the nipple thing. I'm already good to go." She thrusted once against him, urging him onward. He laughed appreciatively at her humorous zeal and readiness. "But, I like doing the nipple thingie on you," he pretended to pout. "Mulder..." "No, I... I was just... thinking about something actually..." "What?" she asked, none too patiently, trying to tug down his swimming trunks. He gently stopped her. "Something important." "Is it about sex?" she asked hopefully. "Um, well... no," he admitted sheepishly. "Dammit, Mulder! Don't be a tease! You started this, you know!" She looked completely aroused and totally pissed off. Normally that would have done Mulder in, but he held his own lust in check. "Scully, please," he murmured softly, giving her those damn, sad, puppy dog eyes that always did her in. "Shit," Scully muttered under her breath. "Okay then, Mulder. Let's take time out of our love life and just shoot the breeze." "Jesus, you're cranky when you're horny," he griped, rolling off of her with a sour expression on his face. "Well, if you're going to be that way about it..." He folded his arms across his chest, lying next to her on the blanket, looking as stiff as a board washed up on the beach. "Go ahead, Doc, just have your way with me. I'll just wait till your done to tell you what's in my heart." As frustrated as she felt, Scully instead gave into her other urge and she laughed. She lay on her back beside him and they stared up at the same fluffy, white cloud together. "All right, Mulder, I'm all ears. Please, darling, tell me what's in your heart?" He sighed dramatically and she smirked at his display, which he chose to ignore. "Scully... you're still- well, do you still think about the future?" "Yeah, I'm thinking about the earth-shattering orgasm I'm expecting my partner to give me within the next half hour or so, as we speak, actually," she replied flippantly. "Come on, Scully, I'm trying to bond here and- wait! Earth shattering? Really?" "I expect nothing less from the best," she affirmed, her half-lidded, blue eyes simpering most fetchingly at him. "Well, I... do aim to please," he began, before realizing she had distracted him. Usually their situations were reversed and he was taken completely by surprise, suddenly understanding Scully's frustration with him sometimes much better. "Scully, please, you're killing me here." "I'm sorry," she said, finally getting past her lust long enough to see how serious he actually was about having this talk. "No, don't be sorry," he told her, rolling back onto her petite form again and running his fingers over her titian locks. "I honestly do not want to spoil the mood here, but... well, it's just..." "I think about the future all the time, Mulder," Scully admitted, talking over his stammer. "I... worry about it a lot, actually. I fear for our family and friends. I fear for... William. And for us." "Me, too," he said, stroking her cheek, and nuzzling against her neck. "But I know that worrying just won't be enough." "I know that, too," she said quietly, her libido beginning to wane in the face of their ongoing dilemma. She averted her gaze from his, and glanced over his shoulder. Blue skies over the island, but their own sunny mood had already clouded. "You did promise you'll never leave me," he reminded her suddenly. Scully heard an unspoken question in that simple statement. A heartfelt plea. She understood him immediately and was just as quick with an answer. "No matter what happens in the future, Mulder, on either a personal or global scale, whether we stand and fight or whether we crash and burn, I will always be at your side. Always." Mulder swallowed the lump in his throat, blinked back a few tears. "But what if... we really do crash and burn, Scully?" Slowly expelling a breath of hot air against her partner's neck, Scully smiled gently at him. This was a conversation they had been through many times before, and one she had no doubt they would have many more times through out their lifetime. This point, this fear, was Mulder's true Achilles' Heel. Unlike most, he did not fear death. He had, technically speaking, already been dead once. He did have a healthy fear of the unknown- or, in their case, of the known, namely the future. Mulder was the kind of man who carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. Scully imagined this trait had grown from within him since he'd been a twelve- year-old boy and had- to his own way of thinking- failed to protect his younger sister from a fate he could have no control over. A part of him, no matter how much life he experienced, no matter all he had learned since, would always remain that twelve-year-old kid, forced to grow up too soon, all alone, into a world of secrets and lies and horror. Scully further realized that Mulder saw her not only as a life-partner and a friend, or colleague, but as his salvation. To him, she was his one, shining ray of hope in an otherwise gray and dismal world. Sometimes this realization scared her nearly to death. In fact, most times it did. She possessed no special powers, did not feel like the guardian angel everyone had presumed her to be. This image of salvation she always seemed to convey to Mulder and others felt much more like a burden than a blessing. After all, she was merely a human being; a mortal woman. Fortunately for all concerned, she was a woman of strength and integrity. And she loved Mulder, truly, fully. Her devotion to the man went beyond all sense or reason. It was unconditional. The only absolute she would admit to- even if only to herself- was that she felt God had created she and Mulder for each other. They belonged together. They certainly couldn't be suited for anyone else. That was the only absolute she could count on. Reaching up to stroke Mulder's cheek, grazing her thumb lovingly over the five o'clock shadow, over his mole, Scully smiled at the man hovering over her and anxiously looking down into her face. "Mulder, I'm not sure about much of anything anymore, except this: You and I are always going to be together, here on this earth, and for whatever comes afterwards." She could see the shift from apprehensive to hopeful in his hazel orbs. The fog had lifted. "But how can you be sure?" he pressed, settling more of his weight upon her small frame, confident she could easily handle it. "I don't know how I'm sure," she tried to explain. "I just know that I am." He frowned thoughtfully for a moment, mulling over her statement. "I'm sorry I can't be more specific, or give you more of an in depth answer," she apologized, uncomfortable in his silence. Returning his full attention to her lovely face, Mulder then smiled at her. "I was just thinking about what you said. I understand that you can't explain it, but that's only because I know it's true as well. I feel exactly the same way, and would still be unable to articulate a comprehensive answer. Yet, I know we both know the truth. We will always be together..." "Forever," she agreed, her heart showing in her face, tears brimming the true-blue seas of her eyes. Mulder's tender response had brought out only more tenderness in her. She gazed up at him, swept away in a moment as heartwarming and romantic as a Frank Capra movie... only to be sucker punched by the laughter in his eyes. She raised her own eyebrow in confusion. "Mulder?" "Aw, Scully," he said mischievously, pinching her cheek. "You're my lovey-dovey girl. Let's go carve our initials in a tree..." He kissed the tip of her nose. She bit him on the chin. He yelped, while she chuckled, "You ASS!" "Ow! Vicious, Scully, so vicious!" He rubbed at the bite, made a show of checking for blood- or teeth marks. "You did say you wanted me to punish you when you were bad," she reminded him with an angelic expression. "Gonna leave a scar," he muttered to himself before adding, "But I didn't know you were going to punish me that harshly." "Well, I had to get my point across, didn't I?" "Painfully so," he agreed, letting her pull his face close to hers. She kissed the red mark on his chin. "Better?" she asked. "Maybe," he said, then moaned in further approval when she began to suck on the tender area. As quick as a flash of lightning, the mood was back. "Oh... Jesus, Scully..." She stopped in her ministrations. "Good?" "Yes, ma'am. May I have another?" "I'll do you one better," she said, flipping him over onto his back. Before he had the chance to marvel over her physical strength- always amazing considering her diminutive frame- she was on top of him and kissing him passionately. Mulder loved it- really loved it- when Scully took charge in their sex life. "Love you..." he murmured into her ear. Deftly, he removed the scrunchy from her hair and loosened her ponytail, so he could run his fingers through her long, silky, red strands. "Love you back," she whispered in between the velvet kisses she showered upon his lips and face. Completely assured of their privacy- for the first time in a long time- on this secluded beach, Mulder made quick removal of her bikini, just as she yanked down his trunks. And soon they lay together on the spread out blanket, with the sun shining down upon them approvingly and the sea churning romantically just beyond. It was there, in the midst of their primal, ancient dance, a dance done so well because they knew each other so intimately in every way, that Scully's belief of their mutual destiny was confirmed. They truly had been created for no one but each other; meant to be. A coconut walked by... The End 08/02/08