Safe by Miranda Feedback: miranda119@juno.com Spoilers: X-Files 2 -- I Want To Believe Category: V Rating: G Summary: Mrs. Scully has a conversation with her pseudo-son-in-law. Disclaimer: They are Chris Carter's very own to do with as he pleases. Despite what all the critics are saying. And just so he knows, I liked the movie. Safe Sure, a daughter could do better. I know that. I wanted better for Dana from the moment she was born. She was always such a thoughtful, observant child. She went out of her way to please the ones she loved. She looked up to her older brothers and sister with a dedication that bordered on obsessive at times and got her into plenty of trouble as well. She's been through the ringer, this sensitive little girl of mine who has somehow become a mature woman. I know some of the things she's experienced, but plenty she won't tell me that I can read only in her eyes. Dana's eyes could never lie. So big and full of every emotion her heart can possibly feel. I wish they hadn't become a portal of sadness. I wish her life had been happier. It's easy to blame him. This man sitting in my living room, on my couch, his hands on my daughter's shoulders as she sits in front of him on the floor laughing at one of her nephews as he rips open a present. He nervously looks up at the door every so often. He didn't want to come. The man has lived with Dana for six years and been everything in her world for over fifteen, and he wanted to deny her a family Christmas. I've only been to their home once since she bought it, a quaint old farmhouse way out in the middle of nowhere. Every room bore the mark of her feminine nature and appreciation of beauty. Antiques in prime condition. Soft purples and gentle greens, floral art and books. Books everywhere. It was the home I'd always hoped to see. But I'd hoped that the halls would ring with children's laughter. I'd hoped she'd know the protection of a husband who'd promised his life to her. "Mrs. Scully?" I feel his eyes upon me, knowing I've been watching him. Perhaps he saw the disappointment in my eyes. I try to smile, try to make him feel welcome in my home as my son, though I resent him for expecting such from me without promising anything to me or to my daughter in return. I do it for her sake. Because she loves him. More than anything. Suddenly I'm of a mind to have it out with him. But here, in front of Dana's brothers and their wives and children is not the place. I stand. "Fox, help me in the kitchen." I smile civilly as I gather up the coffee cups. A look passes between his eyes and Dana's. I know what they're thinking. It's not the first time I've lectured him. They have long since heard an earful of what I think of their domestic situation. He follows me nevertheless, taking the tray of cups from me. I have to respect him for that. He sits down at the table, folds his hands and looks up at me, waiting for me to speak. "Have you given any more thought to a wedding?" I hear the high pitched tone in my own voice. When did I become such a nag? "Not really." He answers honestly, as if he's truly sorry for my sake that he hasn't. I cross my arms over my chest and lean back against the counter. He almost sighs, but instead he continues. "Up till very recently I couldn't have filed a marriage certificate with the government if I'd wanted to. I guess now I just don't think I need their permission to love her." "What about God's permission?" He's silent. "I will never leave Dana. Ever. If she tried to leave me I'd follow her around like a little lost puppy dog until she took me back in. We're going to be together until the day we die. I promise her that, I promise you that, I promise God that. Isn't that what marriage is, after all? What he intended?" "Would you like to explain to me why you are so unwilling to promise her publicly that you'll be there, that you'll take care of her for the long haul?" He looks down at his hands. But when he answers his hazel eyes are looking directly at mine. "She knows I will." "How can she know that if you won't prove it to her by making a formal commitment?" He smiles, and I almost feel like a silly child throwing a tantrum. "Mrs. Scully, you feel this way because your experiences with marriage have been positive. You have to understand what the word marriage means to me. The images it conjures up in my mind. I think if you'd walked the road I did as a child and saw the ways that the institution was maligned and made a mockery of you'd understand why I don't wish to associate Scully and my relationship with such a state." He has me there. I'd forgotten. Dana told me how his parents had been extremely unhappy and of his mother's affair. They'd divorced not long after that. The loss of his sister had been the final blow to a family that had already been torn apart. "I'm sorry, Fox. When you put it that way I can see why you hesitate to make promises." But I'm not finished with him yet. "But you have to consider Dana's feelings as well. Doesn't it matter what she thinks?" He's quiet for a long time. I can tell that his next words will not be spoken lightly. He gives me a small nod, and I can see the fear that sparks in his eyes. "If she asked me to choose between marriage and being without her, I'd chose marriage. But she knows how I feel and she hasn't asked." "Look around you, Fox. She has two brothers who are happily married with children. Don't you want that for her? Don't you want her family and colleagues to respect her? She's already absorbed so much ridicule while you stay hidden away in that farmhouse. She feeds and clothes you, she allows you to sit in that office and clip your newspapers, she faces the world without you at her side and still comes home to you every night." I can tell my words have left their mark. He looks down at his hands. Shame colors his cheeks. "I gave her a son." "And because of you, because of the danger you represented to her and William, she gave him up. All the more reason to give her something in return for her sacrifice." At the mention of my grandson who's picture still sits on my mantle, who's eyes so much like my Dana's follow me whenever I enter the room, I feel the pressure in my throat and wipe the tears from the corners of my eyes. His eyes are shining with moisture as well. "I'm sorry for the pain I've caused you." His voice is almost a whisper. He abruptly stands and walks out of the room. Moments later, I collect myself and follow after him to apologize. I'm stopped short by the sound of his voice mingling with Dana's in the front bedroom. "Tell me what's wrong." She says. She touches his hand almost tentatively, as if she expects him to jump away from her. "Was she nagging you to marry me again?" He sighs and looks out the window. "Scully, if I have given you the impression that I don't care about what you think, I'm sorry. I do. It's just that-" "I know, Mulder." She says before he can go on. "I've never asked more of you than you are able to give." They are quiet. Finally she moves closer, and this time his arms go around her back. "Thank you for coming with me." "We're a family. How could I not?" Family. A word that has jaded connotation to a man broken by life experiences. Yet he uses it, he makes himself a part of it, because it makes her feel safe. I'll keep on urging them to make it official, especially now that Fox is no longer a wanted man. I'm a mom. It's my job. But I guess now I feel just a little better than I did a few minutes ago. Maybe she is safe.