Scanning the Sky by Rebecka Feedback: chandlerina@hotmail.com Pairing: Scully/Mulder Rating: PG-13 Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to this. Settings: Post The Truth - Pre I Want to Believe. Author's Thanks: This was seriously inspired by emilyest's wonderful story At Night She Dreams of Monsters and I'd like to thank her for giving me my muse back. - It felt like they'd driven forever to get there. To get so far away from the monsters that they could at least pretend they weren’t being watched, but they both knew it. They both saw the lingering stares from men dressed like civilians, with ear pieces, and guns hidden by their ankles. They knew they were being watched, that the Bureau wanted to make sure they never came back. So they kept on ignoring the stares, slowly building up a new life on completely new and unexplored grounds. Slowly watching the men turn their stares to other so-called 'dangerous' people. And suddenly, they weren't being watched anymore. She didn't know what to do with herself. All this time, she'd kept as busy as possible, spending every waken hour thinking about everything besides a life as simple as theirs. Leaving behind a job she'd loved so much, a job her father had hated so much, she wondered if she'd left behind a piece of herself. She knew she had. Not being an Agent anymore, not fighting crime, bad guys, monsters, she felt unsafe. Restless. Her dream to be a full-time doctor had come true, but for what? Was this the life her father had hoped for her; a stable job, a good man, a big house, was this it? He'd been so lost in this new world. Pinning up old posters, memories of what he'd burned for, she'd watched him build a new hiding place. And he looked safe there among his things, so she let him hide for as long as it would take him to find peace. She'd left all her things behind. They hadn't mattered to her back then anyway. But she knew that he needed to make this new home his, with the things he'd held so dear. The things so familiar to her. The darkness lingered in every corner and she felt unsure how to get rid of it. It'd been her life, and back then nothing could have frightened her like the shadows did now. How would they ever settle for this whole new world? She left that house every morning only to walk through the day in a haze. And though having him there in her life was all she’d ever wanted, he felt further away than ever before. Nightmares haunted her where they'd come back for him, where the monsters in the darkness or the sky weren't the evil ones, but the men they'd both come to despise so long ago. Coming home every night, she lingered a minute in the living room, scared to look beyond the door to his hiding place, scared to find the room empty. He drank juice out of the carton, and she didn't mind. Back then, she would've, but it wasn't worth it now. They'd both lost too much. She always brought home takeout. It was a long drive into the shadows, but the dull light from the microwave always seemed so calming. Her hair grew longer, and with time she didn't care to cut it. Back then, she never cared for long hair, what was the point when your job was to chase after monsters? But now, she kind of liked it. And his fingers combed through it at night. He never looked at the sky anymore. When they sat together in bed at night and her eyes scanned the sky for new lights, he kept his gaze low. She knew how all his beliefs had changed, but somewhere deep inside she needed to see that sparkle in his eyes again. So she kept on scanning the sky, hoping to find the answer among those stars. All those dreams he’d once had and all those battles he'd fought, all his answers had been so obvious to him. But losing them all, she wondered if he felt just as lost as she did. They spent the nights talking about the things that worried them, the things that mattered now and the things they both wanted to remember. For years, she expressed how sorry she was for what had happened to William, and for years, he kissed her forehead and whispered that it was okay, that it was for the best. Sometimes, they talked about cases they'd worked on, people they'd met, people they felt honoured to remember. And sometimes, they made popcorn and curled up on the couch in front of a movie. It was in those rare occasions both of them felt like it didn’t matter what and where they were now. They were together, and that was all that had ever mattered. Letting the summer sun escape through the blinds, she watched him sprawled out next to her on the bed. The house smelled of coffee and she watched him grunt his way through the morning paper, obviously finding all the lies the men wanted the world to believe. His hair was a mess, and she loved it. Letting her fingertips find his hand, she watched how his gaze locked with hers. "15 years", she said, feeling her lips smile. He frowned and it was so like him not to keep track. "It's been 15 years since we first met." Out of all the things that had happened to them, neither of them would ever forget that first day, that first case. It was the first time they'd both met someone who turned their world up-side-down. It was the first time he'd ever felt so challenged by someone so unlike himself. And it was the first time she’d ever felt so intrigued by something she'd never believed in. Their worlds would never be the same, and somehow, on that very first day, they both knew. Now, 15 years later, they realized how much they'd changed. They knew how different things would be if they'd never met, but neither of them could ever want that. She could never dream of a life without him, and he could never dream of a life without her. As they hid out in the shadows, far away from everything they'd once known and fought, they build a whole new little home just for them. He kept track of all the lies and pinned things on the walls of his new hiding place, and she kept her eyes on the shadows and the sky, hoping to find something for him to hold on to. This was the new life they'd been forced to live, but neither of them cared, as long as they lived it together. -- Fin.