Schisms (8/?)       
by Singing Violin (Pearl on Ephemeral/Gossamer)

Email: perlner@mit.edu
Rating: PG/K+
Category: X-Files VRH

Summary: What could possibly cause these two to break up? A series
of short stories explaining the reported status of Mulder and
Scully's relationship upon the revival miniseries.

Disclaimer: The X-Files characters and universe are not mine.
Archiving: Anywhere, as long as you let me know. I put stuff on AO3,
ffnet, and Ephemeral/Gossamer.

     
Chapter 8: Evidence

"Mulder," Scully insisted, exasperation in her voice, "there is
absolutely no scientific evidence to support the theory  that
sex is any better when it's makeup sex."

He waggled his eyebrows at her. "Don't you think you should
trust the one of us with the psychology degree on this point?
Besides, how many things have you seen, since you met me,
that there was no scientific evidence to support?"

She pursed her lips, obviously not wanting to admit to the
truthful answer to that question. Her eyes said, "This whole
conversation is crazy, and I'm not going to dignify those
questions with answers."

"Aha!" he continued triumphantly. "You see? I'm totally right,
as always."

She sighed, crossing her arms in front of her chest and leaning
back, partially sitting on the desk she stood in front of. "I'm still
not buying it."

Mulder sighed back. "You never do, not until I prove it to you. So,"
he insisted, putting a finger into the air, "I'll prove it to you."

"Just what are you suggesting?" she asked fearfully, righting herself
and unconsciously placing her hands on her hips.

"I'm breaking up with you, Scully," he announced firmly,
gesticulating wildly as he continued. "That's it, finito, we're done.
And when we get back together, we will have the best sex
you've ever had."

She snorted, throwing her hands in the air. "If," she corrected.
"What makes you think I'll want to get back together with you
after this idiotic, crazy, unscientific, uncontrolled 'experiment'
of yours?" She made air quotes with the word 'experiment.'

He shrugged. "Only one way to find out."

She shook her head. "Fine, have it your way." And with that, she
turned to walk out the door.

Just before she'd exited, she swiveled around, curiosity getting the
better of her. "Just when were you planning for us to get back
together, anyway, you know, to, um, maximize the makeup sex
experience?"

He looked uncertainly at her. "I haven't planned that far in
advance," he admitted. "I guess I'll just know when it's time...
or you will."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, good luck with that. See you around,
Mr. Loonybin."

As she walked out the door, he couldn't help but grin, anticipating
the "I told you so," he would dish out when she lay satisfied beyond
recognition in his arms at some unspecified point in the future.

Only then did his smile fade as he began to hope it wouldn't be the
too distant future; it might undermine his victory if he needed her
to write him a prescription for Cialis first.